Strong Enough
by Jade-Max
Summary: Sequel to Not Strong Enough To Say No. Jaina & Kyp. They're forced to own up to their actions but are they strong enough to survive the tests they'll be put through? Completed!
1. Chapter 1

Dec 2002  
  
Disclaimer: It all belongs to George (Lucas, not my Leprechaun) & I just write for fun.   
  
Author's Note: Ack! Somebody stop me, I'm writing a sequel!  
  
And, of course, a huge thanks to DantanaSkywalker for her tips and for betaing this for me!  
  
*****  
  
Strong Enough   
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
They didn't sleep. Their hearts pounded loudly in the sudden stillness of the room as their breathing returned to normal. A loose sheet covered the lovers as they lay contentedly in the silence.   
  
He brushed her hair off her shoulders, spreading it out across his chest, as she lay curled about him. She sighed softly, her breath feathering across his still heated skin. "Kyp?"  
  
He stared at the ceiling of his room, simply enjoying the feel of her body against his. "Yeah?"  
  
She lifted her head slowly, sliding her hand up to the middle of his chest and using the back of it as a rest for her chin. He tilted his head, looking down at her. "Why me?"  
  
"Why not you?" he replied, lifting his hand to gently trace the curve of her cheek. His whole body felt leaden, changed and rebuilt, from the passion she'd awakened. He felt complete for the first time in a long time.  
  
She tilted her head at him, "I've been really rotten to you," her smile was faint, "And yet you stayed. Anything I did to make you leave, you just seemed to ignore it."  
  
"I couldn't leave. I thought about it, but every time I tried I felt sick to my stomach. It hurt, physically, when I tried to walk away."  
  
"Is that why you came back?"  
  
He nodded, sitting up and dislodging her. He reached for his pants and slipped into them before he stood. He walked to the far side of his room before turning sharply and looking down at her. She'd pulled the sheet up to her chest, but was lying on her side, her head on her palm, her arm supporting it. She watched him, her brown eyes serious.   
  
Kyp took a deep breath, shoving a hand into his hair as he thought of a good way to explain. Would she understand? Could she understand? His hand dropped to his side and he shook his head. "It's part of it. Have you any idea what it's like to be in the middle of a dogfight, ready to blow some skip away, and suddenly can't breath because something feels like it's missing? It's a momentary lapse, but something like that could get me killed alot sooner than I'd like. That's dangerous, you're dangerous, to my survival."  
  
She sat up, dragging the sheet with her as she reached for her flight suit. "If that's the case then why'd you come back?"  
  
He'd unintentionally insulted her. Great. That was just what he needed. He crossed the room, kneeling next to the bunk and looking up into her face. "I mean, that when I'm not fighting beside you, it's dangerous." He explained softly. "Jay, the other reason I came back was that Jag wasn't here. He wasn't around to occupy your time. I wanted you to have the chance to see me as something more."  
  
"If you wanted so much, why didn't you just say something?" she demanded, pulling her clothing on and forcing him to move back or be stepped on. She pushed her arms into the fabric, getting them caught and having to stop to turn them right side out.   
  
He took the opportunity to grab her shoulders and draw her complete attention. "You're being stubborn."  
  
"I learned from the best."  
  
"But why now? Do you regret what happened between us?"  
  
"I..." she stopped, her shoulder slumping for a moment before she shook her head, meeting his gaze. "No, but I feel guilty. I shouldn't have done that to Jag."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
She shook her head, "It's not your fault, I shouldn't have... I could've..."  
  
"Jaina."  
  
She bit her lip, looking at him. He carefully straightened her shirtsleeves and pulled them up her arms before carefully closing the front of her shirt. He pulled her hair from the neck of her top and spread it across her shoulders. He paused, lifting it away from her neck and ran a gentle hand over the dark purple love bite low on her neck. "I marked you." His words were soft, remorseful. He didn't regret what had happened between them, but she was obviously fighting with it. She'd cheated on Jag, a man she was technically still engaged to, and he'd been unable to resist her. Unable to tell her no.  
  
She closed her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath and meeting his gaze squarely. "I have to tell Jag before anything else can happen, Kyp. This isn't fair to him."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Tonight, if I see him."  
  
He bent his head, intending to kiss her, but she turned her face away and his lips landed on her cheek. "Not even in private, Durron."  
  
His hands dropped from her and he stepped back as if burned. "Sure thing, Goddess." He sat on the edge of his bunk as she knelt and searched the floor, stretching out to reach under the crack of the bunk to pull the chain she'd dropped earlier. He watched, wordlessly, as she slipped it around her neck and tucked it into her flight suit. She got back to her feet and pulled on her boots before heading for the door. Watching her replace the chain made his heart ache.  
  
"Pull your collar up, Goddess, lest the mere mortals see that bruise."  
  
She flushed, turning her collar up and glancing back at him. "You say a word of this to anyone and I'll never speak to you again, Kyp."  
  
"I'm hard to resist, Goddess," he told her with a smirk. "I think you'd get over it."  
  
"Don't count on it." She unlocked the door but hesitated before opening it. "Promise me you won't say anything?"  
  
He looked into her eyes, saw the fear she was trying to hide. She was afraid for herself, for him and for Jag if this came out. He nodded. "I won't say anything, Jay."  
  
She smiled gratefully and stepped out, the door closing behind her. Kyp stretched out on his bunk crossing his hands behind his head. A smile slowly crossed his face. She was going to break it off with Jag so she could be with him. He was looking forward to the day when he could claim her again as his. He closed his eyes, and for the first time in months, slipped easily off to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
Jaina stepped from Kyp's room and headed immediately for her own. Her thoughts were a mess. She was a mess. She'd cheated on Jag and even if she wasn't in love with him, it made her feel terrible. He didn't deserve that from her. He deserved better. He deserved someone who could love him and treat him honestly. She almost laughed. Put that way, she and Kyp deserved each other. She shook her head, keying open the door to her quarters and stepping inside. Infuriating man, but oh so passionate. A smile curved her lips. Kyp had shown her something she'd never experienced before. Her smile died immediately as she headed for her 'fresher. She needed a shower to wash off the grime from the battle and the remains of the passion between her and her former Master. Kyp Durron. Who would have thought? She shook her head, locking the door and stripping down to her underwear.   
  
She left the flight suit in a heap on the floor as she flipped on the lights. She looked at herself critically in the mirror. The same brown eyes, a shade of Corellian brandy, the same straight brown hair, yet there was something more now. A smile played about her lips, but died just as quickly as it came. Methodically she checked her body for other marks. She had one where her shoulder met her neck and wearing a different style of flight suit would cover it. There were two more. One behind her left ear, easily concealed by her hair and one on her right wrist. She shook her head. She couldn't allow that to happen anymore.   
  
With Jag she'd always been careful, pulling him away before he could mark her, but she'd been unable to move under Kyp's touch. Or rather, she moved too much and had been swept away by it. She fought off the images in her mind, the glint of the chain around her neck finally drawing her attention. She lifted the ring in her hand, cradling it in her palm. It wasn't much, just a simple gold band, but it had "J&J" engraved on it. She carefully removed the chain and hung it on the corner of the mirror. She had to give it back. And she was going to break his heart.  
  
She showered quickly, enjoying the small luxury of water she was allowed as a 'Goddess'. She stepped from the stall several minutes later, wrapping herself in the towel. She wrapped it around herself and tossed her head, grabbing a second one to squeeze the water from her hair. Leaving the bathroom, and the chain hanging on the mirror she opened the door. Her eyes widened and she quickly slammed the door shut. Jag! He'd been turning towards her when she'd opened the door, having let himself in. She swallowed hard. She couldn't let him find out by seeing the marks on her. She leaned against the door, closing her eyes. How could she tell him to leave?  
  
"Jaina?" His muffled voice came through the door. "Is everything alright?"  
  
She took a deep breath. "Yeah, I just didn't bring a change of clothes in with me. Could you grab me something?"  
  
She heard him rummaging around before he stopped outside. "It's nothing I haven't seen before." He told her easily. She closed her eyes. He was right of course, her sudden reluctance to change in front of him had to be a little strange.   
  
"I'm sorry, I just..."  
  
"Don't apologize, everyone needs some privacy. Here."  
  
The door opened and she made sure she didn't have her hair flipped to the side as she accepted the change of clothing he'd handed her. "Thanks." She shut the door, locking it. She didn't need him coming in and finding her naked with strange marks on her. This was a distinctly uncomfortable situation. How could she tell him without telling him everything?  
  
She unfurled the pants and top he'd given her. Black and forest green. She dropped them, staring at them in horror. Kyp's colors. The color of his eyes when he was- No! She shook the image away. She couldn't think about that now, not with Jag in her room. She gingerly picked up the black pants and slipped into them before examining the shirt. It was high collared and long sleeved. She slipped into it without a second thought, buttoning it up to her neck. She examined herself in the mirror and grimaced.   
  
She was a mess. Why did he have to search her out now?  
  
"Jaina?"  
  
"I'm coming," she replied, "Just give me a second." She grabbed her brush and viciously ran it through her hair, carefully arranging it to hide the other marks. The one on her wrist could be passed off as a bruise even though it was covered. She opened the door and stepped into her room, stopping just out of the doorway.  
  
Jag was leaning against the wall next to the door, his gaze taking her in from head to toe. And she felt nothing. Not a surge of pride for his inspection, or a desire to run to him and throw her arms around his neck. No, there was nothing. He'd been back for less than two months and the attraction, at least on her end, seemed to have died in the last two hours. She almost flushed guiltily. She knew why, she just wasn't about to tell -him- that. "Jag."  
  
A small smile, just for her, crossed his lips. "Jaina. You look beautiful."  
  
She felt lower than low as he stepped towards her, ducking his head to kiss her. She closed her eyes, turning her face aside. He pulled back, puzzled. "Jaina?"  
  
"We can't Jag."  
  
"We're engaged, it's expected." He flashed her a quick smile, "And it's enjoyable."  
  
She shook her head, turning her face to look at him. "No, I mean I can't."  
  
His brows drew together and she bit her lip. She couldn't just blurt it out to him, he'd want a reason. She felt miserable, torn. She had to break it off with him, it wouldn't be right to pretend with him after what had happened with Kyp. It wouldn't be fair to any of them. Indecisive, she remained silent for a long moment.   
  
Jag finally spoke again, his brow smoothing as he nodded, "Oh, I see. You're right; you still have to be debriefed. I'm flying out tonight, I just came by to tell you I'll see you when I get back."  
  
She swallowed hard. He'd given her an opening, and she couldn't have asked for a better one, but she felt terrible for having to bring this up before he went away. Maybe it was better this way. He'd have time to get past this, or at least to think clearly, while he was away. "Jag."  
  
He moved to take her in his arms but she stepped back. He frowned. "Something wrong?"  
  
"Everything." She cleared her throat, stepping further away, "I can't marry you."  
  
Jag froze. She saw it in his posture, in his face, heard it in his breathing. She couldn't meet his gaze as she clasped her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Why?"  
  
She flinched. This was much harder to do than she'd thought it would be. She licked her lips and lifted her head, forcing herself to meet his gaze. "I just can't. I... I'm not in love with you. I thought I could be, but something is missing."  
  
He stepped towards her and she moved away again, making him pause. His eyes held confusion, "I don't understand. You said you loved me."  
  
Just let me sink into the floor, she begged silently. She'd never felt so low in her life. "I can love lots of people, Jag. I do love you, as a friend, but I'm not -in- love with you. I don't know if you can understand that." She reached up to remove the chain from around her neck and paused when she couldn't find it. She paused for a moment before remembering where she'd left it hanging, and stepped past him back to the 'fresher.  
  
Jag stayed where he was, and she closed her eyes for a moment, her back to him. Why was it so hard? She shook her head slowly before looking at herself in the mirror. She knew why. She was breaking his heart with no warning. He'd never seen it coming. She grabbed the chain and turned, stepping back into her room only to find it empty, the door sliding closed. Her hand, outstretched to give him back the ring, slowly dropped to her side and she bowed her head. It was done then.  
  
It was done and she felt as if she'd just killed someone close to her. She placed the chain on the bedside table and looked slowly around her room. Jag's presence was dwindling, as if it had never been, but she still felt the size of a bug. Forcing it away, she squared her shoulders and turned to her door. She had to talk to the General about the last battle. And that battle suddenly felt as if it had happened in another lifetime.  
  
  
  
  
Jaina returned to her room after the debriefing with the General and his staff. Their mission had mostly been a success, but now she had two new pilots to train, but no Jag to help her. She was in no mood to join the other pilots in the officer's mess for drinks; she wasn't expected to anyway. And she didn't want to search out Kyp. He'd been absent from the debriefing and she'd allowed it. She was in no mood to deal with him, not after the unexpected confrontation with Jag. She locked her door behind her and shed her shirt, hitting the lights as she did. The glint of the chain sitting on her bedside table caught her attention and she stepped up to it, dropping the shirt on the end of her bed. There was a datarod sitting next to it that hadn't been there before. She frowned, picking it up and turning it over in her hands.   
  
She knew without looking it was from Jag. Shedding her pants, she pulled on the long shirt she used to sleep in and curled up on her bed. Why would Jag leave her a datarod? Had he written her to say goodbye? Or maybe to urge her to think it over before she made her decision? She reached for the datapad she left on the bedside table and removed the rod already inside it. With a decisive movement she slid the new one in and clicked on the power. Making sure it was scrolled to the top, she read the brief message, and her spirits plummeted.  
  
  
Jaina,  
  
I can't help but feel your actions and words today were hasty. I'll be gone for a week, when I get back, we have to sit down together and talk about this. Are you sure this is what you want?  
  
I have to keep this short. Think about it.  
  
Jagged.  
  
  
She closed her eyes, gripping the datapad firmly in her hands and wanting to break it. Wasn't it bad enough she felt like the lowest life-form for cheating on him? Did he have to drag this out, to give her time to 'cool' off? She lay back against her pillow and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. What if he was right though? What if she had made a hasty decision? She thought of Kyp and her heart skipped a beat. No, she hadn't. She could already feel the excitement starting to run through her blood at the thought of their next meeting. Be it on the flight deck, in the off duty lounge or in his quarters. Or hers. Any activity with him was full of energy. For a man 16 years older than she was, he was certainly virile. She frowned. Should that age gap bother her? Sure, her parents had a larger one between them of what... twenty years? Eighteen years? It didn't bother them, why should it bother her?  
  
She sighed, tossing the datapad back on the table before rolling onto her stomach and hugging her pillow. She was so confused. Jag was everything she admired, she thought she wanted in a husband. Reliable, steadfast, solid. He was someone she could lean on. They had enough of the same interests that they could talk for hours, especially about spacecraft. Her lips curved into a smile. Jag was a well of knowledge about spacecraft. But nowhere in that list did she include passion. He was an amazing pilot and he had a passion for flying, her ego liked to think he was passionate about her, but she knew it wasn't the truth. Jag wasn't inclined to passion. He was a man very in control of himself and his emotions. Passion probably wasn't in his vocabulary.  
  
She felt guilty for thinking it. Jag was a good friend, or he had been, and a skilled lover. Very considerate, always controlled, making sure she was pleased. But being pleased wasn't enough. Oh no, Kyp was Jag's polar opposite. He demanded everything, drawing responses from her unwillingly and making her beg for more. But that wasn't enough, he wanted the same for himself and demanded it. She'd been powerless, and unwilling, to resist. Where Jag had been tender, Kyp was passionate. Jag was control, and Kyp was fire. She buried her face in her pillow. Comparing the men was unfair. As polar opposites she couldn't really be rational. Each had characteristics that drew her, but Kyp was far more alluring. She just didn't understand why.  
  
Maybe it was the way he never gave up, even against insurmountable odds. He didn't know the word 'retreat' when he wanted something. He stayed around, forging ahead, until he got it. Maybe it was the way he looked at her, treating her as if she was his equal and not someone he looked down on. He wasn't condescending, though he was sarcastic to a fault. She smiled. She loved it when he lost his temper. Kyp was one of the few Jedi who wasn't afraid to be angry and it was a refreshing change. Of course, it seemed he always lost it with her, or her Uncle Luke, but she didn't mind. The way he did everything with such passion; could it be that vitality which attracted and drew her?  
  
She closed her eyes, her groan muffled by the pillow. She loved him, was in love with him, and had been since before Jag had come into her life. Kyp's presence in her life, his influence, had helped make her who she was now. He was the one who'd stopped her darkside slide. He was the one who'd been able to reach her, to sympathize and understand. He'd been the only thing holding her to what she'd been and what she'd come back to. And she'd thought it was because of Jag.   
  
It wasn't until she'd confronted him in the lounge a week ago that the truth had finally hit her, blindsided her. Jag wasn't the one who'd stood beside her through that tough time. Oh, he'd been there, but he couldn't understand. He'd never understand. The Force, the darkside, was beyond his comprehension. He'd tried, but she knew it was weird for him and difficult to accept. Perhaps it was better this way; Kyp understood her, had been with her through it all in a fashion nobody else had ever come close to. In a way that had been more intimate than anything she and Jag had ever done.  
  
She screamed into her pillow. She knew her own heart, she -knew- it, but then why was this so difficult? Why did she feel so terrible for feeling relieved about being free of Jag? It wasn't as if she'd led him on, she'd honestly believed she could marry him. At least, she had until Kyp had run from her in the hanger. She'd never been so scared in her life as when he'd turned and fled. Who would've thought Kyp would run from anyone, least of all her? She could still see it in her mind. The look on his face, in his eyes. The horrified almost desperate edge she'd never expected to see, would never have imagined possible, had shocked her completely. Kyp had been scared. Scared of her and the possibility of her rejection. No, she frowned, it would have been a certainty. He never would have known her deepest secret if he hadn't run from her.  
  
Her skin tingled and she ran a hand over the mark on her neck. So much had changed in one short day, in the few hours since they'd landed. She'd admitted to the feelings for Kyp, at long last, and he to her. That made her smile, but it was bittersweet. How could she be happy with Kyp when she felt such guilt? Guilt for deceiving Jag unintentionally, for accepting his proposal, and especially, for sleeping with Kyp before breaking off her engagement with him. She closed her eyes, fighting the tears. Did she regret when she and Kyp had shared? The question, Kyp's question, echoed through her mind. And yet, her answer was the same. No. How could she when she'd discovered the one thing her relationship with Jag had been missing?  
  
She reached over and shut off the lights. Jag was right. When he got back, they'd have to sit and talk; he deserved an explanation. Her relationship with Kyp would simply have to wait until after she'd sorted out the wreck her private life had become. She closed her eyes to sleep, but sleep was a long time in coming. 


	2. Chapter 2

Strong Enough   
Chapter 2  
  
  
Kyp found her the next morning, eating alone, in the officer's lounge. Jag was suspiciously absent and nowhere to be seen. He crossed the room, taking a seat across from her. She didn't even look up. "I'd like to be alone."  
  
"Too bad, Goddess, deities don't get time alone." He sat forward, dropping his tone so that the two other people in the room wouldn't catch his words. "What's wrong?" She lifted her head, and he caught the sheen of tears, her brown eyes miserable. He was immediately concerned. "Jay?"  
  
She shook her head, blinking away the moisture. "I'd like to be alone, Kyp. Please?"  
  
"Like this?" he glanced towards the other people in the room, "Not a chance. I'm still your friend... well, sort of. Did you talk to him?"  
  
She pushed away from the table, getting to her feet, "I said I wanted to be left alone Durron. Back off."  
  
Kyp leaned back in his chair, looking up at her. "Whatever you desire your Greatness."  
  
She grabbed her tray and marched across the room, sitting herself by the main viewport. He watched her. Tracing the lines of her face, admiring her profile, yet he could feel the sadness emanating from her. Had she spoken to Jag? He hoped so, but if she had, why was she so sad? Shouldn't she be thrilled she'd managed to escape without making the worst mistake of her life? Or was she regretting it after having a night to reflect? Confusion was warring with sadness and he pushed himself to his feet. The hell with leaving her alone, he couldn't sit idle while she was fighting herself; he'd get her into a screaming match if he had to. Anything to get a response.  
  
Crossing the room, he slapped his hands down on the table. "I want to talk to you."  
  
"I told you to leave me alone!" she hissed.  
  
He smirked. "Too bad, you just have to deal with me, Goddess. In private. Unless you'd like to speak with me here." He pointedly eyed the two officers who were listening discreetly to their conversation.  
  
She glared at him, but he didn't budge. If she wanted him gone, she would have to walk away. But she couldn't. She'd dressed in the clothes Jag had chosen for her the night before and was regretting it as she stood. She didn't need reminders of Kyp; he was impossible to forget. "Fine. Five minutes." She brushed past him heading for an adjoining room. Close on her heels, Kyp closed the door as he stepped inside and leaned against it. She rounded on him. "Spit it out."  
  
He crossed his feet at the ankles, looking her up and down. "You look good in my colors."  
  
He face flushed red as the look in his eyes said she'd look better out of them. "What did I tell you, Kyp?"  
  
"I simply gave you a compliment. Don't be reading too much into it, Goddess."  
  
She glared at him. "You're infuriating. What do you want?"  
  
He smirked but said nothing. She began to pace, "Ok, bad choice of words. Your five minutes are going by fast, I'd start talking if I were you."  
  
"Good thing you're not, then. Did you talk to him?"  
  
She stopped, facing him, and crossed her arms over her chest. "That's my business."  
  
"What?" he said incredulously. "I think it's more than just yours."  
  
"Back off, Kyp." She cautioned, "I'm spoiling for a fight."  
  
"I can see that, I'm not blind. Yet. I just want a yes or no, Jaina. Did you talk to him?"  
  
She nodded. "I did. Don't ask me what he said because he didn't say anything. I hurt him, Kyp. Badly. He deserves better than this."  
  
"Than what? An ex-fiancée who can't make up her mind?"  
  
She lunged forward, her hand aiming for the side of his face, but she never got close. Kyp caught her wrist in one hand, spreading it wide, catching the other as she tried to free herself and then forced them behind her back, dragging her flush against him. "Am I wrong, Goddess?" he bit out. "Am I?"  
  
Her eyes spat fire. "Yes!"  
  
"Am I?" he demanded again, his voice lashing like a whip. "You can't have it both ways. Either you want him or you want me, not both."  
  
She struggled, trying to free herself, but he was too strong and settled instead for kicking him in the shins. His grip loosened but didn't break. Kyp spun, trapping her between the door and his body so she couldn't get leverage, and glared down at her. "Are you willing to be burned again, Jaina?"  
  
She tossed her head, getting her hair off her face. "Touch me like that and I'll kill you."  
  
He smirked. "Before or after you thoroughly enjoy yourself?"  
  
She colored as she stilled. "Let me go."  
  
He shook his head. "Never. You're mine."  
  
"I'm not yours!" she hissed, her neck beginning to ache from looking up at him. Damn the man and his height.  
  
"And you're not Jag's."  
  
She shook her head. "No, but-"  
  
His head came down, cutting her off and swallowing her words with a vicious kiss. "Then you're mine." He whispered fiercely against her lips.  
  
He wasn't ready for it when it happened and he staggered back, releasing her as a Force shove, harder than anything he'd come to expect from her, pushed him back. Free, she stalked towards him, hitting him in the chest with the flat of her hand. "If you ever try to manhandle me again..." she threatened.  
  
His smile was cocky but he didn't attempt to hold her again. "You enjoyed it, Goddess, the evidence is in your cheeks. I can feel it."  
  
"You exasperating man! I'm the one who's feeling terrible because, not only did I cheat on my fiancée, but I broke it off with him because of you! You! The one man who can push my buttons!"  
  
"You need that." He told her smugly. "All that passionless romance has turned you sour."  
  
"Can't you be serious for two seconds?!"  
  
"Can you stop accusing me of something I didn't do?" he countered.  
  
"Is there anything you haven't done?" she asked caustically.  
  
"To you? I can think of a thing or two."  
  
This time he wasn't fast enough and her hand came across quickly, connecting painfully with his cheek. "You're a jerk, Kyp." She spat.  
  
"All part of my charm," he replied, fighting the urge to put a hand to his stinging face. She had one powerful slap.  
  
"And you're blowing this out of proportion. Don't you think you've overacting just a little?"  
  
She crossed her arms over her chest, "Really? How should I be reacting? Jumping for joy?"  
  
"The thought had crossed my mind. I'd settle for a kiss."  
  
"It's not over!" she spat. "Jag didn't accept that I broke up with him." She pulled the datapad from her pocket and tossed it to him, not caring if he didn't catch it. His reactions were as fast as ever, though and he caught it in mid-air, flipping it around as he flicked it on. Show off! she thought peevishly. But there was no pride in his movements, they were just simply... there. She could help but admire him as his eyes scanned the note. The man knew who and what he was; it was a refreshing change.   
  
Kyp lifted his gaze to meet hers. "So what happens now?"  
  
"I wait until he comes back."  
  
"And us?"  
  
"There is no us, Kyp," she told him flatly. "Not yet. Not until I work this out with Jag."  
  
He tossed the datapad back to her. "I can't accept that, Jay."  
  
"You don't have much of a choice. My dad's supposed to be coming to talk to the General tomorrow, maybe he'll offer a distraction."  
  
Kyp arched an eyebrow and stepped towards her. "Not the Solo I have in mind when I think of a distraction."  
  
"Kyp..." she warned, backing away.  
  
"We can keep this between you and me Goddess, or I can go and ask your dad for your hand tomorrow."  
  
Her jaw dropped, her eyes widening in surprise. "You wouldn't!"  
  
"Care to try me?"  
  
She flushed at the double meaning implied in his words. "You promised..."  
  
"I promised not to say anything until you spoke to him," he reminded her. "You told Jag, you said it yourself. The fact that he hasn't what, taken his ring back? That doesn't mean you're not free. You certainly don't consider yourself engaged to him anymore."  
  
"That's not the point! How will it look if he comes back early to find another one of these?" she swept her hair off her neck. "He walked in on me as I was coming out of the shower. The shower, Kyp! What if he'd seen that?"  
  
"He what?!"  
  
Whoops! she shrugged, dropping her hair back. "He's had the combination to my room for awhile, it's not unusual for him to come by before he gets sent on a side mission."  
  
"So you went from him to me?"  
  
"Do you trust me at all?" she demanded, planting her hands on her hips. "Of course I didn't go from you to him, I even turned down a hug and a kiss, which only made him suspicious! I felt nine inches tall, Kyp, I've never felt that horrible in my life."  
  
He stopped short of her. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."  
  
"It's not your fault. I should have told you no." she spread her arms wide and stepped up to him, the sudden change in her demeanor catching him off guard.   
  
Had she been taking lessons from his school of quick mood-swings? He hoped not. Dealing with a semi-predictable Jaina was one thing, dealing with one who could go from mad to happy in two seconds flat would completely confound him. His arms went around her as she laid her head against his chest. He couldn't help his reaction as his body curled protectively around hers. "I'm sorry."  
  
She shook her head. "No. You can't be." She looked up at him, "If you're sorry you'll start to regret it, and I don't. I love you, Kyp and it's killing me."  
  
His heart squeezed painfully in his chest, but he smiled anyway. "You'll make a man feel immortal with those words, Goddess."  
  
She laughed softly, but it choked off on the end and he held her tighter as she buried her face in the soft fabric of his shirt. "I should be relieved I'm no longer engaged to Jag," she whispered softly. "But all I feel is guilt. Why does everything have to be so confusing?"  
  
He gently ran a hand over her hair, knowing she wasn't asking him, and wisely held his tongue. He could feel the dampness from her tears soaking through his shirt; feel her shaking as she squeezed him tightly around the waist. He let her cry, simply holding her to him securely and whispering soft words of comfort to her as he kissed her forehead.   
  
They stood like that for long minutes, Jaina taking strength from his presence before slowly, reluctantly releasing her hold on him. She wiped her face with her sleeve, and found a smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to use you as shoulder today."  
  
He smiled, "Use me anytime you need me. It's why I'm here."  
  
She chuckled. "It's why you can't leave, you mean. Thanks Kyp. Look, when my dad gets here, I'll explain the situation to him. But don't talk to him until I get the chance, alright?"  
  
He nodded, reaching up to gently stroke her face. "Alright. I don't know about you but I-"  
  
The scramble alarm blaring through the room cut him off and their gazes locked. So much for a leisurely breakfast. They left the room at a sprint, heading for the flight deck. They could talk about this when they got back. 


	3. Chapter 3

Strong Enough   
Chapter 3  
  
Kyp pulled his helmet off with a vicious tug before dropping to the flight deck. His R2 unit hadn't even finished killing the engines on his X-wing before his feet hit the plating. His emerald eyes blazing with fury, he -threw- his helmet across the hangar with the Force, the projectile slamming into the side of Jaina's X-wing as it was landing. It exploded on impact, scratching the paint. She looked up from her concentration as the skids hit the ground and popped the hatch, her expression shocked.  
  
Kyp knew people were staring at him, he knew they were marveling at his outburst as he stalked across the hangar and grabbed Jaina off the ladder before she could drop down. "We talk. Now."  
  
She rounded on him, digging her heels into the deck plating and tugging her arm free. "How dare you!"  
  
"I dare, Goddess, because I can." He snapped back, his voice dropping, "Now, Jay, or I throw you over my shoulder in front of everybody."  
  
"You wouldn't dare!" she hissed, her hands on her hips.  
  
Kyp's familiar smirk showed itself, this time with an edge. "Now." His tone left no room for compromise but she didn't budge. He grabbed her around the waist, drawing an outraged shout from her as he tossed her over his shoulder and started out of the hangar bay.  
  
"Put me down!" she hissed, kicking her feet and attempting to dislodge his grip.  
  
"Not a chance, your greatness." He ground out, his long strides eating up the distance between her ship and the nearest briefing room quickly. He keyed the door, ignoring the way her knees connected high on his back. The door slid open, and he paused. He hadn't scanned it before hitting the pad and there was a meeting in progress. "Sorry," he said pleasantly, "Wrong room." And closed the door.  
  
"Kyp!" she slammed her fists against his stomach, silently curing the hours he'd put in to make them so hard; her pounding had little effect against the tight muscles. "Put me down!"  
  
He hit the door controls to the next room and entered, this one mercifully empty before dropping her unceremoniously in one of the chairs near the door before locking the room with a wave of his hand. He turned back to her, pinning her with a cold stare. "What the klif do you think you were doing out there, trying to get yourself killed?"  
  
She glared back at him, unable to get out of the chair as he slammed his hands on her arms, pinning her in place. His posture was menacing, threatening, but she didn't heed the warnings in it. "I saved your life, Durron!" she spat, "What do you think I was doing?"  
  
"A good impression of me!" he accused hotly. "You're the reason we're out here. You! We're trying to keep you from getting killed. You can't go around throwing yourself into danger whenever the notion strikes you!"  
  
"I don't want to lose you!" She cried, trying to push herself from the chair and failing. "I may not be thinking straight about a great deal, but you can't die before I figure this out! I'd never forgive you."  
  
"I have no intention of dying but you have to be more careful! If I didn't have to keep saving your backside every time we hit the stars I'd live alot longer!"  
  
"Nobody's holding you here," she told him with a glare, "You can leave whenever you want!"  
  
"That's where you're wrong!" he yelled at her, "Sithspawn, you're being difficult! You know why I can't leave! Especially not now. Dammit, Jaina, I just want to keep you safe!"  
  
"I don't need you to watch my back."  
  
"And you can't watch mine! It's going to get you killed."  
  
"Better death than to live without you!" she cried, leaning towards him as far a she could.  
  
Kyp froze, searching her eyes. "And now you understand." He told her softly, pushing away.  
  
"Kyp-"  
  
"Don't."  
  
She started to get up but stopped when he spoke. He crossed the room, raking a hand through his hair before spinning on her. "I'm sorry."  
  
She blinked. "What? -You're- sorry?"  
  
He nodded, dropping his hands to his sides. "I was terrified I was going to lose you today. Don't ever do that to me again."  
  
She stood, crossing the room and throwing her arms around his neck, "Now you know how it feels." She whispered brokenly.  
  
Kyp inhaled sharply. So that was it. That was why she'd done it. He hugged her tightly, ducking his head into her shoulder. "Jay..." he placed a kiss on her shoulder through her top. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."  
  
His embrace was fierce, tight, as the only sound in the conference room their breathing. She clung to him, reassuring herself through touch that he was indeed alright. It was several long minutes before he let her go slowly, setting her back on her feet. A wry smile twisted his lips. "I think I blew it on the flight deck today, Goddess."  
  
She looked up at him, nodding. "I'd say so. How are you going to explain that one to the General?"  
  
"Which one?" he asked caustically. "Han or Wedge?"  
  
She grinned. "Both. Wedge is not going to like this."  
  
Kyp shrugged. "I can handle him, it's your dad I'm going to worry about."  
  
Her smile died, "And the rest of the ship? Oh Force, what about when Jag hears about this? Kyp!" her eyes were stricken. "What have you done?"  
  
"Me? You're the one who couldn't be bothered to come with me!"  
  
"What was I supposed to think with you acting all Neanderthal on me?" she demanded, pulling away completely, "For all I knew you were going to carry me off to your quarters!"  
  
"Was that the first thing that crossed your mind?"  
  
"Yes!" she rounded on him and stopped. Heat flooded her cheeks as she realized what she'd just admitted to. "I mean, it crossed my mind, but-"   
  
"Don't backtrack, Goddess, it's bad for your image."  
  
"You're annoying."  
  
"But you love me anyway."  
  
She stomped her foot. "Can we get back to the point? Please!"  
  
He crossed his arms over his chest, smirking, "The one that says you can't resist me?"  
  
"Force save me from smart-aleck Jedi Masters," she muttered peevishly. "Be serious-"   
  
"I thought I was."  
  
"-I mean the one about Jag! How am I going to explain this?!"  
  
"Is telling the truth a completely radical concept?"  
  
She threw her hands in the air, exasperated. "There is no talking to you."  
  
He shrugged. "What's done is done, Jaina, I hardly think it's worth worrying over."  
  
"You're not the one who's supposedly engaged to him!"  
  
He stepped closer, "That's just disturbing. I do however have a vested interest in his ex-fiancée."  
  
"You promised Kyp, no more." She placed her hands against his chest but there was no starch in her arms and didn't resist as they slid up his chest to brace herself.   
  
His arms slid around her waist, "Just something small?" he asked her softly, his head coming down towards hers, "Something to tide me over until tomorrow?"  
  
Her breath hitched in her throat. "Tomorrow?"  
  
He nodded, his lips hovering slightly over hers but not touching. "Tomorrow..."   
  
She licked her lips as his breath feathered across her cheek, her eyes drifting shut, "What... what happens tomorrow?"  
  
"Your dad comes to visit."  
  
Her eyes flew open and she stared at him. "What's that have to do with anything?"  
  
"What do you think it has to do with anything? While he's here I won't be able to do this." He ducked his head, biting her gently on the neck and making her gasp softly.   
  
"Kyp!"  
  
"Or this." He nuzzled the curve of her jaw where it met her neck, gently kissing her rapidly beating pulse. "I'll have to behave myself."  
  
"Is that even possible?"  
  
He affected a wounded look. "You have so little faith in me."  
  
She looked at him pointedly. "If this is you behaving behind closed doors, I don't think I want to chance how you'll behave with my dad around."  
  
He chuckled. "Wouldn't you rather just tell him the truth?"  
  
"And say what?" she arched an eyebrow. "'Oh dad, yeah, Kyp and I had wild passionate sex and we're in love with each other, I hope you approve?'"   
  
He laughed. "I was thinking something with a little more tact so that he wouldn't want my head for target practice."  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
Kyp shrugged. "I'll think of something."  
  
She sighed, leaning her head against his chest, "That's not reassuring."  
  
"It's not supposed to be. I don't want to hide this from your dad, Jay, I respect him alot and he deserves to know."  
  
"Don't push," she admonished. "I'm still adjusting to this. Yesterday morning I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jag because he was the kind of stability I needed. Then you happened. You had to run from me. You had to make me question everything I'd accepted as being a part of my life and would continue being a part of my life. You just had to show me what was missing!"  
  
"Regrets, Jay?"  
  
She shook her head, "No, never. And quit asking me that, would you? I don't regret it and I won't, I'm just... just..."  
  
"Confused."  
  
"Yeah." She sighed, looking up at him. "Why does it have to be so hard?"  
  
"Would it be worth it if you got everything without a fight, Goddess?"  
  
She smiled faintly. "It might."  
  
"Liar. Jag was handed to you without a fight and I don't think you ever really appreciated him."  
  
She slid her hands around the back of his neck. "You're right, you know. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. But sometimes I get sick of the fighting. Jag was safe; he didn't argue and if things got heated he walked away or calmed them down. Not you. You spoil for a fight."  
  
"Don't bother comparing us, Sweetheart," he murmured softly, bending his head to nuzzle her neck, "we're too different to be much of a match."  
  
Her eyes fluttered closed again. "Kyp?" his name was a whisper on her lips.  
  
He looked down into her face, brushing his lips softly across her cheek, "Something I can help you with, Goddess?"  
  
"Aren't you supposed to behave?"  
  
"I am behaving," he brushed a kiss across her eyelids, his hands sliding up her back, "would you like me to misbehave?"  
  
Her breath caught in her throat as his lips skimmed across her face and she couldn't hold back a slight moan. "Kyp..."  
  
"Is that a yes?" he whispered, his lips hovering over hers.   
  
She licked her lips, parting them slightly as she struggled to rationalize the reasons she shouldn't be doing this, but his presence was so overwhelming, so powerful, she felt like she'd been drugged. "Kyp... please..."  
  
"Yes or no, Jay," he asked, holding himself beyond her reach. "Either you want me or you don't."  
  
"You promised!" she moaned softly, the words almost an accusatory whimper.   
  
"I did, didn't I?" he started to pull back and gently untangled her hold, every instinct in his body screaming at him to just kiss her and be done with it, but he'd promised. "I'll see you later," he told her softly, gently tapping her on the nose and stepping away.   
  
He couldn't watch her slowly regain her sense, so he simply turned on his heel and walked out. As the door closed behind him he thought he heard what sounded like a wail of dismay. His body was tight with tension and he took a deep breath to let it out. Served her right. He'd give her time and space to think, but he wasn't going to lie to Han. His old friend deserved better than that.  
  
  
  
  
Jaina avoided Kyp for the next few hours, immersing herself in a quick debriefing, a run down of her pilots and, finally, a bath so hot she almost scalded her skin. She didn't normally indulge, but the tension between her and Kyp was wound so tight she felt close to snapping. At him, again, or at someone else. And that someone else had almost been one of her oldest friends, Wedge Antilles. She rested her head on the edge of the tub and closed her eyes. What a day.  
  
She hadn't heard from Jag since he'd left the night before, but that wasn't surprising since he was out on maneuvers. Some secret strike missing, from what Wedge had said. Wedge. He still thought she and Jag were involved but hadn't done anything beyond send her a disapproving look. The way Kyp had interrupted Wedge's meeting with the staff after the battle, she over his shoulder, had been embarrassing. It didn't help that Wedge himself had been the one holding the meeting and had a clear view of the whole thing. He hadn't said anything yet, but she was expecting a private dressing down for inappropriate behavior. Kyp should get one too; after all he'd been the one to cause the scene in the first place. First with his helmet and then with the whole sweeping her away bodily. She couldn't deny the thrill that ran through her at the memory.  
  
Of course she'd been to angry at the time to care, but looking back, it had been exciting having him sweep her off her feet. Even if he'd been set to paddle her backside. Well, maybe not paddle, but he'd certainly abused it when he'd dropped her in the chair. She sighed, lifting one of her legs and holding it out of the water as she listened to the droplets fall. Kyp. What was she going to do with him? With him? A grin spread over her face. Ok, she what she wanted to do -with- him, but what was she going to do -about- him. Her smile died and she shifted, enjoying the feel of the jets on her back.   
  
Kyp Durron. Who'd have thought? She slid her leg back into the water and sighed softly. What was she going to do about him? She had to find some way to get him to back off. He'd gotten what he wanted from her, on both accounts, couldn't he just back off for a while? She slid further down in the tub, letting the hot water sooth her muscles even as her mind continued to spin. And Jag? How was she going to explain this to him? He'd hear about it, if not from Wedge than from someone else if she didn't explain it first. She froze. Explain it to Jag? Why did she need to explain it to him? She felt guilty immediately. Of course she'd have to explain it to Jag; he would certainly take it wrong. Not that it wasn't the way he would think, but she wasn't about to tell -him- that! She opened her eyes and stared at the blank wall of her fresher, tracing the water splash patterns with her gaze.  
  
What -could- she tell him? The truth would hurt him too much, and he'd never believe she was leaving him for Kyp. But what would he accept? Certainly not that they were ill suited. They weren't, she just didn't find herself needing him to the point of distraction. She loved him, yes, but not beyond what she felt for any other of her friends. In truth, Jag was more like a security blanket that had lost its use. She grimaced. She wouldn't tell him that, though. Talk about a good way to damage a guy's ego. A knock sounded on her door and she looked up. The fresher door was cracked and she frowned, reaching out to the Force to see who was there. She swallowed hard. Wedge.  
  
Pulling herself from the tub, she quickly drained it and stepped out. "Coming!" she called, toweling herself off rapidly before slipping into a flight suit. She hastily fastened it and slipped into her boots, neglecting to do them up as she went for the door. She keyed it open and stepped back. "General. This is a pleasant surprise."  
  
"I'm sure it is -Goddess-."   
  
Uh oh, Wedge was fuming. The stressing of her title was enough to have her step back and motion him in.   
  
Wedge Antilles, his hair graying at the temple, rounded on her as the door slid closed, his arms crossing over his chest. "Care to explain what happened in the hangar today, Solo?"  
  
She winced. Ouch. Not even Goddess, just 'Solo'. "I uh. Well, you see, sir, Kyp and I had a disagreement and he decided to take it someplace private. I really didn't have much say in the matter."  
  
"I see." He arched an eyebrow, "Your conduct is supposed to be exemplary, Jaina. I can't keep your cover from being blown after that fiasco in the hangar bay. Every officer and pilot who was on deck or in my meeting now knows that you can't stop Kyp Durron!"  
  
She blushed, unable to stop the heat from crawling up her neck and into her cheeks. "It wasn't like I intended it to be that way, General, Kyp was beyond reason. He was ordering me around in front of everyone, to have gone with him would have been worse!"  
  
"Worse than having him throw you over his shoulder and cart you around?" Wedge asked pointedly. "I hardly believe that, Jaina. I will attempt to do damage control; most people are aware Kyp is your old Jedi Master, so perhaps I can work something on the basis of Jedi, but I don't want to see, or hear, about another incident like that, understand?"  
  
"Yes sir!" she snapped off a quick salute and Wedge departed, the door closing behind him.   
  
She relaxed, the tension in her shoulders giving way as she stepped to her bunk and sat on the edge. She let her head drop into her hands and thrust her fingers into her hair, gripping painfully. Damn him! Damn him and his pride and overbearing manner! She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Getting angry with Kyp after the fact wouldn't help anyone least of all herself.   
  
And she still hadn't decided what to tell Jag. Could the General keep this quiet? He seemed to have assumed Kyp's outburst had been Jedi related. She took a deep breath, feeling like a heel for not correcting him. What was the big deal, anyway? Almost everyone on the ship knew about her 'act' as a Goddess. Maybe the rookies didn't, but they'd hear soon enough. She shook her head. This was becoming so muddled! And tomorrow her dad would be here! She inhaled sharply. She needed to sleep, to clear her mind and wake up with a fresh perspective. If she didn't, she's be tempted to take Kyp and throw him through the grav field for his actions today.  
  
Not that he wouldn't be any different with her. She sighed, not bothering to change, and stretched out on her bunk. She'd have to think about something to tell her father because no matter who else she tried to fool, Han Solo would never buy a con from her. And that was both a blessing and a curse. 


	4. Chapter 4

Strong Enough   
Chapter 4  
  
  
  
Kyp was restless. Jaina was avoiding him. Again. And it annoyed him to no end. He'd stuck to his room for the first little while, finding it rather unnecessary to look for trouble when trouble was sure to find him, but when the first couple of hours passed with no sign of Wedge, whom he was sure wanted a piece of him, or Jaina, he got restive. Sit-ups and push-ups just weren't cutting it and he rarely felt the need to hit something. But today was one of those days. Shrugging into his cloak, but not bothering to do it up, he left his room and started towards the public training room. They had a section of padded walls that were perfect for his moods like this. After all, he could only destroy so many helmets in a week before he used up his quota. He shook his head. That had been a dumb move on the flight deck earlier.  
  
He entered the training room to find that only three other pilots, all longtime veterans who tended to avoid him, working at several of the machines. One was doing push-ups with a weight set on his shoulders, one was on a treadmill and the other was using the leg press. Kyp ignored them all, heading straight for the padded wall directly across from the door. There was a practice mat stretched out in front of it for those who knew hand-to-hand combat. Unfortunately the only person on the ship who could, and would, spar with Kyp was avoiding him. Shrugging out of his cloak and tossing it to the side, the Jedi Master began a rigorous stretching routine pulling off his shirt and tossing it over with his cloak.  
  
Kyp felt the eyes on him, but ignored them, continuing to stretch, closing his eyes. He stretched for several long minutes, taking the time to ensure he wouldn't injure himself. As angry and fed-up about the whole Jag issue as he was, getting himself injured wasn't going to help. Finally, he turned his back on the others in the gym-like area and headed for the wall.  
  
A whistle of appreciation had him pausing. The younger of the three pilots was looking at him, his eyes wide. "Nice work Durron, she tear a strip off you or what?"  
  
Kyp frowned. What was the younger man talking about? "I beg your pardon, Chitan?"  
  
Chi shrugged. "Your back. I didn't figure the Goddess was one to use physical measures to punish."  
  
Kyp blinked. His back? A flash of a memory ran through his head. Jaina, her back arching of his bed, her nails raking painfully down his bare back as he muffled her moans with his mouth. Oh boy. Did they look like slash marks? Probably. "Not normally no, but I figure she makes an exception for me. She didn't like being manhandled on the flight deck today."  
  
Chi shook his head. "Better you than me, Durron." He said, turning away and going back to his work out.  
  
Kyp turned, suddenly in desperate need of a good thrashing. How had he completely forgotten about the marks on his back? He knew the answer; because he'd healed the deepest, stinging ones immediately. The rest would heal, but they'd take time. He flinched. If Jaina found out about what he'd let the other pilots believe... he shook his head. It was better than having them know the truth, wasn't it? Not that anyone would ever believe him if he'd told them. He almost sneered. What did that say about his reputation? Bah, he didn't care. He punched the wall, feeling the padding give, and began systematically assaulting one of the outcroppings with a series of punches and kicks that always helped clear his mind. Only this time it wasn't helping.  
  
Jaina. What was he going to do about her? And Han? He frowned, lashing out at the padding again and again. What was he going to tell Han? Jaina couldn't lie to her father, she knew that, but would she tell him the whole truth? Kyp sincerely hoped not; he liked his head where it was. He didn't really want one of the men he respected most on his case about his only daughter. He was absorbed in his work out, not even feeling the grudging respect coming from the other pilots in the room as he worked the wall over, never tiring, never slacking, his concentration seeming absolute. He didn't notice the growing crowd of pilots until he finally, after one long hour of almost non-stop punches and kicks he stopped. A murmur behind him had him turning, only to stop. He had an audience. He ran a hand through his hair, brushing the long bangs out of his eyes and then waved a hand towards his shirt. It rose and flew to his hand and he used it towel-like, wiping the sweat from his face chest before slinging it around his shoulders.   
  
Nobody watching said anything as he collected his cape and slid it back around his shoulders before walking away from the training room. The door closed behind him and a satisfied smile crossed Kyp's face. He could -feel- the speculation behind him, the questions and amazement. That was not what people had expected when they'd walked into the training room. Satisfied, he headed back towards his room. If nothing else, he'd worked out a lot of frustration and tomorrow he'd be level headed to deal with Han. Level headed? He almost laughed. He was never level headed when it came to Han's daughter and with Jaina present it was going to be one hell of a reunion.  
  
  
  
  
Jaina waited on the flight deck as the Millennium Falcon's landing struts touched the deck. Her father was here. Early. She smothered a yawn, trying not to think about the early hour. Yesterday had been draining, and she'd not even bothered to eat dinner before heading to bed, but 0400? Was her father insane? Wait, check that thought, this was Han Solo. Of course he was insane, if only a little; he'd had to be to have lived this long. She waited as the repulsors strained to level the awkward looking ship to the deck. She looked up as the sound of boot heels clicking on the deck caught her attention.  
  
Kyp. Her breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of him. He looked rested, relaxed, and all too tempting at this hour of the morning. It wasn't fair. She had this sudden feeling of wanting to slam him into a bulkhead and either deck him or kiss him. Either would have worked at the moment; no one should be allowed to look at good at this hour! "Durron!" she snapped.  
  
He stopped short of her and bowed mockingly. "Your greatness."  
  
"Cute, cut it out. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I thought it was obvious," Kyp told her grinning, "I've come to greet my old friend."  
  
Jaina was about to tell him she didn't want him there when the repulsors died off and she turned. The sound of the Falcon's hatch opening, the two pressures beginning to equalize, had her looking towards the cockpit. Her father couldn't be seen but was that... No, it couldn't be! She stretched out with the Force, feeling her dad moving towards the landing ramp and in the cockpit, powering down the ship was her mother! Her mother? Oh no, could this get any worse? She wanted to scream. Kyp stepped next to her, affecting an easy, loose stance. "Relax," he told her softly, "things'll work out. You'll see."  
  
She cast him a look that would have killed him if it could. "Easy for you to say," she muttered darkly.  
  
Han Solo, his tread as even and sure as ever, his brown hair shot through with long lines of silver, stepped onto the ramp. Jaina grinned. Her father, except for his hair color, looked like the smuggler he'd been twenty years ago. She knew; she'd seen holos. She could feel Kyp's pleasure at seeing his old friend, but Jaina knew he'd wait for her lead. This was her family; she'd have to deal with them.  
  
"Dad!" she strode forward to meet him and Han held out his arms, engulfing her in a huge hug.  
  
"Jaina! Good to see you, princess."  
  
She grinned, pulling back a little. "It's Goddess now, dad, I'm moving up in the ranks."  
  
Han chuckled, "Well so it is. Should I be bowing?"  
  
Jaina shook her head. "Nope, family's exempt."  
  
Han winked at her before turning to her companion. "Kyp, kid, it's good to see you."  
  
"Han." Kyp said warmly, clasping the hand the other man extended. "You're looking good, old man."  
  
Han grinned, his grip as firm as ever, as he slapped Kyp on the shoulder. "You don't look too much worse for wear with Jaina around. You keeping her out of trouble?"  
  
Jaina's eyes widened as she met Kyp's gaze. Trouble? She wanted to laugh. The only trouble she'd gotten into was with him around! "Uh, dad, there's something you'll want to hear from me before you hear it from General Antilles."  
  
"This sounds serious. Why don't you two come on into the Falcon and we'll talk about it." Han's demeanor was easy going and Jaina relaxed somewhat. Her father could be a firecracker, but at least he seemed to take Kyp's presence there as normal. But she wasn't about to spit out her new relationship with him on the flight deck, especially with the trouble comment from her dad!   
  
Kyp and Jaina followed Han into the Falcon, Jaina wondering idly why her mother was staying in the cockpit but thankful for not having to deal with her at the moment, as the three of them settled into the game room. Kyp and Jaina on either side of the dejarik table, Han in a chair over by some of the monitors. It was the most comfortable chair in the room and Jaina knew better than to comment about it.  
  
Han Solo was getting old and he liked his comforts. Leaning back in his chair he looked at his daughter. "So what's this big thing I should hear from you instead of Wedge?"  
  
"Kyp blew my Goddess cover yesterday."  
  
Han raised an eyebrow. "How?"  
  
Jaina flushed, "He... he was mad at me after the last engagement and when I refused to talk to him, he uh..."  
  
"I took matters into my own hands," Kyp supplied. "I threw her over my shoulder and carried her off."  
  
Han laughed. "Really?"  
  
Kyp nodded, ignoring the kick Jaina applied to his shins. "Really."  
  
"You actually picked her up while she was angry?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
Han stood, coming towards Kyp and slapping him on the shoulder. "You're crazy kid, not even I would do that when she was little." Han settled next to Jaina, leaning forward to look at them both. With Han on the circular seat, Jaina was trapped at the back, behind the table, between her father and Kyp. Kyp's thigh brushed against hers as he shifted and she fought to keep from jumping. Dammit, it wasn't supposed to happen like this!  
  
"So tell me, what was this argument about?"  
  
Kyp glanced at Jaina, arching an eyebrow as if to ask if she wanted to explain but she was too busy picking at the peeling paint on the game board. Obviously she'd decided to let him handle this. "Just standard pilot garbage. Who saved whom when they were supposed to be the one staying out of trouble."  
  
"Jaina saved your life?"  
  
"Well, if you want to interpret it that way..." Kyp told him grinning. "Ouch. Jay, stop it, I need those."  
  
Jaina glared at him before turning to her dad.  
  
Han was watching them both speculatively. "Did I miss something here? You two seem to be on edge and I have a hard time believing your conversation was only about Jaina saving your life, Kyp."  
  
Jaina flushed. "Uh, dad, do you remember that transmission I sent you a few days ago?"  
  
"Which one?" Han asked slyly, "You sent three."  
  
"The uh... one about me and Jag."  
  
Han looked pointedly at her hands. "I don't see a ring. I may be getting older, but I'm not blind."  
  
Jaina folded her hands on the tabletop. "Well, I broke it off with Jag two days ago."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He just wasn't what I needed." Kyp was mercifully silent, allowing her to explain. "I..." she paused. "Dad, I don't want you to take this wrong."  
  
Han looked at Kyp. "Is this your fault?"  
  
"Dad!" Jaina was aghast; what was Kyp going to say to that?  
  
Han ignored her and Kyp met Han's gaze calmly. "Why is everything my fault?"  
  
Han grinned. "Because you're supposed to be looking out for her. What'd you say to Jag to get him to let go?"  
  
"He didn't say anything!" Jaina fairly screamed, "I told him it was over!"  
  
Han looked back to her. "I find that a little hard to believe, princess. Your message was nothing short ecstatic, why would you break off an engagement you were thrilled to be in?"  
  
"Because I'm not in love with Jag!" she snapped, "Why else?"  
  
Han sat back, looking at her closely before getting to his feet. "I'll be right back. Neither of you go anywhere."  
  
"But... dad..." Jaina watched him go, disappointed when he didn't answer her. She slumped back in the seat, her chin on her chest, and kicked the support to the table. "This is impossible. He'll never believe me now!"  
  
Kyp hated seeing her so dejected, so confused. He reached out, shifting slightly so that he was closer to her, and slid his hands onto her shoulders, massaging gently. "Relax," he urged her, "it could have been worse. Han would have been outraged if he honestly thought you were making a mistake."  
  
She lifted her head, allowing his hands to sooth the tension in her shoulders. "Do you really think so?"  
  
He grinned, even though she couldn't see him. "I know so. You're so tense and your dad knows something is up, why don't you just tell him?"  
  
"Me?" she turned to find him close, so close in fact that barely a hand width separated their faces and sucked in a sharp breath. Move! she commanded herself silently. But she couldn't. She was transfixed by his eyes, so deep they were almost green flames as he stared back. She licked her lips and his gaze dropped to her mouth. She inhaled sharply, "Kyp..."  
  
His hand came up, of its own accord, and brushed her hair back over her ear, his fingers whisper soft over her cheek.   
  
"We... we ca-"  
  
He didn't listen, simply leaned forward and cut her off. Her lips moved under his, melting for a moment and kissing him back. Her hands grasped the front of his shirt, but couldn't seem to decide if she wanted to pull him closer or push him away.  
  
"Jaina, I was talking... to..." Han's voice trailed off as he stepped back into the small room. His eyebrows hit his hairline as he leaned against the bulkhead, watching. "Ahem."  
  
Jaina pulled away as if she'd been burned, heat scalding her cheeks as her horrified gaze went to her father. "Dad!"  
  
Han nodded. "That's right, sweetheart, Dad."  
  
She swallowed hard, recognizing that calm, low voice as Han at his deadliest. He was not impressed. "I... I can explain."  
  
Kyp moved to get up but Han pinned him with a stare. "You're not getting out of this one, Durron. Stay put or Jedi or no Jedi, I'll take you out."  
  
Kyp sat back down, leaning back as he affected a nonchalant pose. "It's not as bad as it looks, Han."  
  
"I'll be the one to decide that. Start talking, Jaina, I'm waiting."  
  
"Well, uh... It's a long story."  
  
"This kiss or the way you ended up here?"  
  
She flinched at the neutral tone in his voice. She wasn't sure if he was angry or thrilled, but he certainly seemed menacing. "Uh, how we got there. Kyp tried to push me away, I swear he did, but..."  
  
"My daughter threw herself at the man who's constantly lied to her for the last five years?"  
  
"Not constantly!" she shot back, not bothering to deny the first accusation. Why should she? It was true, after all. "He's been nothing but honest with me since he came back!"  
  
"I find that hard to believe."  
  
"Dad!" Jaina pushed herself to her feet. "I swear it's true. He's been here for me when nobody, not even Jag wanted to put up with me. He's not afraid to challenge me or make a scene. He's not scared to tarnish him image."  
  
"Only because it's tarnished enough," Han commented dryly. "How long has this been going on?"  
  
"A few days."  
  
"Days?" Han's hand twitched, almost as if he wanted to reach for his blaster. "-Days-?! You broke your engagement with Jag for -him-?"  
  
Kyp winced. Ouch, that accusatory tone was almost as bad as a lash.  
  
"Yes." Jaina told her father stoically, feeling as if she was on trial. "I did."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Jaina looked down at Kyp. Why indeed? She was still having trouble with that one herself. She smiled slowly, the answer as plain as day. She would simply have to tell the truth; well part of it anyway. She winked at Kyp before turning back to her father. "Because something was missing with Jag," she said honestly. "I love Jag, dad, but I'm -in- love with Kyp. He brings a passion to my life that wasn't there before."  
  
"It's about time you realized it."  
  
"I know you don't... What?!" Jaina stared at her father incredulously.  
  
Han's face broke into the trademark Solo grin. "I've been watching you two circle each other for years, ever since you turned eighteen Jaina. The war brought you together again, cementing my suspicions and I was starting to wonder if you'd ever grow up to admit it."  
  
She was stunned, speechless. Her father approved?! She sat back with a thump, all the starch seeming to drain from her knees. She'd been blindsided by something she'd never thought possible.  
  
Kyp's quiet laughter slowly penetrated her awareness and she looked at him, her eyes still wide with shock. His head was thrown back, resting against the wall, his laughter sounding slightly choked. He found this all very amusing.  
  
Han shook his head, watching them both before stepping forward to place a bottle and three glasses on the table. "Shall we celebrate?"  
  
Jaina dropped her head to the table. This couldn't be happening; it had to be a dream. Her father would never approve of Kyp Durron no matter how much he respected the younger man!   
  
Kyp pulled himself back under control, unable to wipe the grin off his face. Jaina was curled forward, muttering something under her breath that sounded distinctly like she had to be dreaming. He slid an arm around her shoulders, "Jay?"  
  
She didn't respond, just stayed where she was. Kyp shook her a little. "Jaina?"  
  
"I'm dreaming," she said at last, still not lifting her head, her voice muffled. "I have to be. My dad doesn't take this kind of news like I want him to."  
  
Han chuckled. "You're wrong, princess."  
  
Her head came up slowly only to find her father pouring three glasses of Corellian Brandy. Han held one out to his daughter and she slowly took it, looking at him suspiciously. "This is a sick joke, right? You're just waiting until Kyp leaves to rant and rave about how irresponsible I'm being?"  
  
Han chuckled. "Hardly. Your mother on the other hand... She wasn't too pleased to hear about your broken engagement."  
  
"Mom? She's here?" she'd forgotten. She remembered her mother's happy response to the news of her engagement.  
  
"She's here." Leia stepped into the room, her gaze hard on her daughter and the man who had an arm around her. "And I have to say I'm not impressed, Jaina. Not at all."  
  
Jaina paled. She'd rarely heard her mother use that tone of voice and the steel the former politician could put into her words was daunting. "Mom. It's good to see you."  
  
"Is it?" Leia didn't sit; she crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at the two as if they were teenagers caught making out on the living room couch.  
  
"Now Leia." Han started, moving to get up.  
  
"Don't you 'now Leia' me!" she snapped, "You're encouraging them!"  
  
Han shrugged. "She could do much worse."  
  
Jaina wanted to sink into the floor. "Mom, it's not as bad as it looks."  
  
"It's worse than it looks." She commented dryly. "My only daughter is attaching herself to the only Jedi I know who's destroyed a planet willingly and lived to talk about it. He's lied to her at every turn and is the most irresponsible man I've ever met! You could do worse?" Leia asked scathingly, "You could do so much better!"  
  
"Mom!" Jaina said horrified, looking at Kyp. She'd never been so embarrassed by her mother in her life. Kyp didn't seem phased by the harsh words, but Jaina could tell he'd been stung. They hadn't expected Leia to be the one to object. "You couldn't wait to rag on me in private, could you?" Jaina demanded, jumping to her feet to glare, "You just had to do it all while Kyp is right here!"  
  
"I'd rather say it only once and he should know how I feel about this." Leia replied, looking directly at Kyp. "What have you to say for yourself, Master Jedi?" The way she used his title implied an insult and Kyp's gaze hardened.  
  
"I'm sorry you find this so objectionable, Leia." Kyp told her calmly, his hands clenching on his thighs. "But I do love you daughter, very much."  
  
"I find that hard to believe." She spat, "You've loved nothing but yourself since the day I met you. You ignore authority to go after what you want, you lie your way into people's trust, you then abuse that trust and expect people to forgive you! Why shouldn't I find this objectionable?"  
  
"Mom!" Jaina was mortified. She slid across Kyp's lap and got to her feet, facing down her mother. "You have no right!" she hissed. "No right to judge Kyp!"  
  
"I have every right, Jaina! You're my daughter. My -daughter-! I refuse to stand by idly and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life!"  
  
"My biggest mistake would have been marrying Jag!" Jaina yelled. "You would rather I condemn myself to a life with someone I don't love?"  
  
"I want you to be happy," Leia told her, shaking her head. "Kyp can't do that for you, Jaina. I've watched you with Kyp, seen the way he's hurt you in the past. How can you just forget that? How can you forget that he's lied to you on several occasions and used you, -used- you!, for his own advantage?"  
  
Jaina clenched her hands at her side, "And dad never lied to you?" she demanded hotly, "He never did something, or told you something, that you later forgave? I find that hard to believe with how many years you've been married!"  
  
"Woah," Han stood, getting between the two women, "Easy there ladies. Leia, Jaina's a grown woman, she can make her own decisions."  
  
"I never said she couldn't, I just don't want to see her make the wrong one."  
  
"In your eyes!" Jaina shouted. "Mom, I love Kyp, I've been in love with Kyp for years. I just never realized it until two nights ago when he showed me what was missing in my relationship with Jag!"  
  
Han rounded on her, "He what?"  
  
Jaina was too upset to care about her father's sudden change of mood, or to care that she was probably giving them too much information. "He showed me, how many-" she shouted, only to be cut off by Kyp as he stood and wrapped his hand around her mouth, his other arm sliding around her waist like a band of durasteel.   
  
"I don't think they need to know that, Jay." He whispered to her softly, his eyes on Han's face.  
  
Leia was glaring at Kyp. "You seduced my daughter?"  
  
Han looked pointedly at Kyp, "Did you?"  
  
Jaina struggled against his hand, shaking her head vehemently and even though she couldn't speak around his hand, she tried. Kyp ignored her sharp elbow to his gut, concentrating on keeping her calm. "Jaina! This isn't helping." He finally snapped, making her pause. She was breathing heavily, her face flushed, her eyes glittering with outrage. Kyp slowly removed his hand.  
  
Her words were quick and he didn't react fast enough to cover her mouth again. "He didn't have to seduce me!"  
  
"Jaina!" Leia's tone was aghast.  
  
Kyp slowly released Jaina, shaking his head. "Everyone -quiet-!" he finally snapped, throwing the full weight of his Force abilities into the command. He was fed up; this had to stop. Surprisingly, since neither of the women was suspecting it, it worked.  
  
Silence and tension descended, so thick he could have cut it with his lightsabre. Kyp ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. "Ok, let's start this over from the beginning. Arguing about who's making mistakes is not going to get us anywhere. I'm sorry you find me an objectionable match for Jaina, Leia, but my feelings for her are true. As true as yours for Han."  
  
"I don't-"  
  
He held up his hand cutting her off. "I'm not finished." He pinned Han and Leia with a look. "Explaining isn't working, so I'm simply going to tell you outright. When Jag has been removed completely from the picture, I will be asking Jaina to marry me. Not before. It's not fair for me to take advantage of her in a vulnerable situation and neither should you. We're not asking for your permission, we're telling you of our relationship. It's not essential that you approve, but it would be nice to have your blessing."  
  
"You want to marry me?"  
  
He turned, looking down into Jaina's shocked face. Her words had been barely a whisper. He nodded, smiling gently. "I do," he told her softly. "But let's talk about that later, okay?"  
  
She blinked, nodding, and managed to shake off the shock due to the proximity of her parents. Her father looked pleased, but annoyed all at the same time. A look only Han Solo could have pulled off, and her mother looked horrified. Kyp met Han's gaze. "We've been friends a long time, Han, and you know I'd never do anything to hurt her."  
  
"You already have." Leia told him crossly.   
  
"Clear the slate Leia, let me start over." He entreated her earnestly as Jaina wrapped an arm around his waist, "I swear to you I'll take care of her."  
  
"Please mom," Jaina begged softly. "Just be happy for me, for us?"  
  
Han slipped an arm around Leia's shoulders. "Bend, Princess," he urged softly, "I hate to admit it, but she's grown up and knows how to make her own decisions."  
  
Leia met Jaina's gaze. "I just don't want to see you hurt, baby. Kyp's track record for doing that to you is pretty long."  
  
"Clean slate, mom," she begged softly. "Please? If nothing else his ability to get through to me should count in his favor. Jag never could."  
  
Leia sighed. "I don't like it, I may never like it, but..." she looked up at her husband, "I'll try to accept it."  
  
Jaina leapt across the compartment and hugged both of her parents, wrapping her mother in a tight, grateful hug. "Thank you," she whispered softly.  
  
"Be happy, Jaina." Leia told her in return, "If he hurts you again, I'll kill him."  
  
Kyp waited until Jaina pulled herself away from her parents and reached for him. He gladly took her hand, feeling just a little left out, but willing to let her have her time. He stepped closer and offered his hand to Han, who shook it. "Take care of her, kid."  
  
"I intend to." Kyp looked down at Jaina as Leia turned and left the cabin without speaking to him. "I'm sorry Leia doesn't approve of our relationship."  
  
Han shrugged, slapping him on the arm. "She'll come around. So what exactly did you do to show her what she was missing with Jag?"  
  
"Dad!" Jaina blushed.  
  
Kyp shrugged. "I ran away from her."  
  
Han began to laugh. "Did someone get a holo of that one?"  
  
Kyp shrugged again, grinning, "I'll ask around for you."  
  
"Sit," Han waved them back towards the table, "There's a bottle of perfectly good Brandy I don't want to see go to waste."  
  
Jaina settled against Kyp at the table, her back still tense, but not as bad as before. She and Kyp would get through this. It'd just take some doing. 


	5. Chapter 5

Strong Enough   
Chapter 5  
  
  
Jaina and Kyp spent the next few hours talking with Han in the Falcon's game room before Kyp excused himself with the excuse that his report to General Antilles was long over due. Jaina watched him go, a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. She was technically still off duty until 0800, but the glass brandy she'd consumed was sitting uneasily in her stomach. With Kyp gone, she had the feeling she'd be in for something of a lecture.  
  
Her father's first words didn't disappoint her.  
  
"Jaina, about Kyp."  
  
She placed her glass on the table, a half-inch of liquor still in the bottom. "Don't start dad. I know he's older than me, I know he's been reckless in the past, but he's not coercing me."  
  
"Woah, easy there, kiddo," Han chuckled. "Why do I feel like I'm under attack for something I didn't do?"  
  
"Sorry," she rubbed her forehead. "Nobody knows yet, I mean, Jag doesn't even know. I guess I'm a little defensive."  
  
"From the strip you tore off your mom, I'm not surprise." Han chuckled. "Are you sure you know what you're doing, Jaina?"  
  
She shook her head. "I haven't been sure about anything in a long time," she admitted softly. "But I know Jag and I don't belong together. Kyp showed me that; has been showing me that, I've just been to blind to understand it."  
  
Han smiled, chuckling. "But you know how you feel about Kyp?"  
  
She smiled, nodding, "It's funny, I've watched you and mom when I was given the chance and never realized how special your relationship is. I mean, you always support each other, but you fight and argue; yet it never comes between you. Jag and I didn't have that. I think I wanted to have that so much, I didn't realize what really drew you and mom together."  
  
"Circumstance?" Han offered, his eyes glittering with amusement.   
  
Jaina arched an eyebrow, "I was talking about something else, but now that you mention it..."  
  
Han chuckled. "So what is it that you think brought your mom and I together?"  
  
Jaina felt her cheeks flush. "Uh. Do you really want an answer to that?"  
  
"I'm curious to know how you kids think your old man managed to convince a looker like your mom to stay with him."  
  
She chuckled. "Honestly? I think it's the attraction. You two are pulled towards each other, physically, mentally, you challenge each other. I mean, I watch you two and it used to gross me out when you guys would kiss in front of us, but now..." she trailed off. "You guys have been together a long time and the fire is still there. That was never there with Jag and me. I mean, sure, we had some fun times and yes, there was a spark, but nothing like what you and mom share. Nothing like what's between Kyp and I." She stopped, folding her hands around her glass and staring at the amber liquid. "Is that wrong for me to want that when tomorrow I could die?"  
  
Han leaned forward. "Jaina, look at me."  
  
She lifted her head, meeting her father's eyes, so like her own.  
  
"Your mother and I were thrown together during a desperate time. We fought, we argued, but we respected each other, if only grudgingly." He smiled wistfully, "We had very little time together, except for when we were thrown together by circumstance. You're lucky. I see you look at Kyp and a part of me wants to throttle him, and another part of me is bursting because I see in your eyes what I feel when I look at Leia."  
  
Jaina blushed ducking her head.  
  
"No, it's true." Han insisted, chuckling. "I don't normally get this way, so enjoy it while it lasts. You have a chance to grasp something special, here and now, with Kyp. Don't let yourself pass that up because of an opinion someone else has."  
  
"Even mom?"  
  
"Especially your mother," Han grinned roguishly. "Did you know she didn't even like me when we first met? Now look at us. Some twenty years later we have a grown daughter who's in a situation not unlike our own was. Or would have been under different circumstances. She'll come around to your way of thinking. After all, you two are a lot alike!"  
  
Jaina shook her head. "I don't see how. Today's outburst should have proven we couldn't have more different thoughts."  
  
"Really?" Han was almost laughing. "Last time I checked your mother went for scoundrels too."  
  
Jaina sat up straight. "Scoundrels! Kyp's not... Oh I get it, the checkered past thing, right?"  
  
Han nodded.  
  
Jaina tapped her fingers against her chin and grinned. "You might have hit on something there, dad. I just don't get something. If mom's happy with you, why wouldn't she think I'd be happy with Kyp?"  
  
"You'll have to ask her that," Han told her, taking another swig of his brandy. "But later. Wedge said I could keep you until 0800, and we've only got another five minutes. Drink up, we'll catch up with you later."  
  
She downed the rest of her brandy, suddenly feeling much better than she had before. She'd still have to talk with her mother, but now she had some ammunition just in case things got ugly. She stood, wrapping her dad in a tight hug. "Thanks dad."  
  
"Anytime, princess." He told her smiling as he returned the hug, "Now go, or you'll be late for your shift. And Solo's are never late."  
  
"No," she replied grinning, "They're always in the nick of time. I'll see you when my shift is over."  
  
Han yawned. "Why don't you go see Kyp instead?"  
  
She stopped by the entryway into the corridor. "But, you and mom..."  
  
"We'll make do. From the sound of it, you and he have quite a bit to talk about."  
  
"It can wait-"  
  
"No," Han shook his head. "It can't, Jaina. Go see him; we'll be around for a few days. Trust me."  
  
She laughed. "Alright, thanks dad." She ducked out into the hallway and raced for the ramp. She'd have to run to get into her uniform. She didn't see Han settled back into his chair and pick up his half-full brandy glass. She didn't hear the smash as it connected with the bulkhead across the room. All she felt, all she could hear, was her father's acceptance. As Han settled back into his seat, he stared after her. His little girl had grown up. It was time he admitted it.  
  
  
  
  
Kyp slammed open the door to his quarters later that night and stepped inside. Wedge was an idiot. That was it, that was all. Wedge was simply an idiot. Oh sure, he was a knowledgeable man when it came to the military but privately? Kyp slammed his fist into the bulkhead beside his door, just above the panel controlling the door's functions. Not that it was any good anymore. He'd removed the door from its track. Did he care? Not really. He was too pissed off to care.  
  
"Idiot!" he hissed, spinning away from the wall. Judgmental, dictatorial, sentimental fool! he thought venomously. What right did Wedge have telling him to stay away from her? What right did he have to issue a warning, nothing short of an ultimatum, regarding Jaina? None! He slammed his fist into the wall again, cursing softly. Wedge had riled him something good. He managed a wry smile. It figured. Jaina was a topic that could always affect him.  
  
"Is this a bad time? 'Cause I can come back later."  
  
His head came up. Jaina stood in the doorway, watching him, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the frame. "Jaina!"  
  
"Don't sound so pleased," she told him dryly. "Look, if this is a bad time..."  
  
"No, no," he reached out to grab her in case she turned to go. "Sorry, the General is on my back."  
  
Jaina glanced out into the corridor and back to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Talk?" he demanded, "Talk?! No I don't want to talk about it, I-"  
  
She lunged at him, knocking him back into the wall and he almost bit his tongue as his head snapped back. Jaina waved her hand at the door, concentrating as she clenched her fingers, and the door slid back into place, seeming to expand as she opened her hand. Kyp blinked, his anger momentarily forgotten. When had she learned to manipulate elements like that?  
  
She looked back to him, offering him a smile before she stepped back, "Now that we have a semblance of privacy, what's wrong?"  
  
"Where did you learn to do that?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Expand elements." He waved one hand at the door.  
  
"Oh." She grinned. "It comes in handy when I tinker. I just don't find much use for it beyond fixing things. No quit dodging the question. What's wrong?"  
  
Kyp examined her. She had a smudge of what looked like oil on her cheek and he pulled a cloth from his pocket to gently brush at it. "Nothing I can't handle, Goddess."  
  
"Don't give me that, I can feel your anger, remember?"  
  
He grimaced. "And here I thought I could shield something from you."  
  
She caught his hand, searching his face. "What is it, Kyp? What's wrong?"  
  
He sighed. "General Antilles had a talk with me about our behavior today."  
  
"You too, huh?" she sighed, moving to sit on the edge of his bunk and stretched her legs out in front of her. "What'd he tell you?"  
  
"To stay away from you."  
  
She straightened sharply. "He -what-?!"  
  
Kyp nodded. "I was pretty much told to stay away or he'd ensure I was transferred to another ship for the duration of this assault."  
  
"Of all the interfering, domineering, meddling, stuck up..." she sputtered. "How dare he!"  
  
Kyp chuckled. "That was pretty much my line of thinking when you walked in."  
  
Jaina took a deep breath, closing her eyes and counting quietly backwards from ten. When she opened them, Kyp was on his knees before her, watching her carefully. She sucked in a sharp breath. She hadn't heard or felt him move. He placed his arms on either side of her waist, looking her straight in the eyes, "We have to talk."  
  
She smiled faintly. "Every time I hear those words I think of something terrible. I know we do, that's why I came."  
  
"If Wedge catches you here..." he sighed. "I feel like a teenager with my first big crush," he told her wryly. "A crush neither of our parents agrees with. I don't want to have to sneak around with you, Jay."  
  
"Neither do I, but..." she leaned back on her arms. "I still haven't fixed everything with Jag yet. I can't just jump into another relationship without having some kind of closure. What will he think of me if he comes back to find out I'm sleeping with you?"  
  
"It's more than that."  
  
"I know," she told him with a smile, "But he won't see it that way. Jag really thought this was going to be forever, Kyp. I broke his heart, or tried, before he got sent on maneuvers. What if he dies?" she tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling, her voice soft. "I'll never forgive myself."  
  
"You're strong," he traced a gentle line down her back. "It's not your fault if something happens to him, Jay, he's a big boy; he can take care of himself."  
  
"But what if this distracted him?" she shook her head, closing her eyes on the thought. "He has to come back so I can finish this."  
  
"What's really bothering you?" he asked, echoing her earlier insistence, leaning forward to place a kiss on the smooth column of her throat. He couldn't resist with her head tilted back at such a submissive, inviting angle. He felt the slight shudder than ran through her frame as his lips touched her skin and nuzzled her neck. "Jay? What's really bugging you?"  
  
She straightened slowly, forcing him back as she lifted her head to look him in the eyes. "This whole situation is insane." She replied honestly. "I mean, who am I kidding?"  
  
His brows drew together. "Jaina, what-?"  
  
She smiled, lifting her hands to frame his face, "I've been forced to do alot of thinking the last two days Kyp. I've come to the conclusion that I have to stay away from you."  
  
His eyes widened and he shook his head. "No! You're mine. -Mine-!" he told her fiercely, "I won't let you do it."  
  
She laughed softly. "Think you could stop me, Master Durron?"  
  
He leaned into her, bending her back over his bed until she lay flat beneath him, trapped. "I think I might have an idea or two."  
  
She sucked in a sharp breath as he grasped her hands, trapping them above her head, revealing the bruise he'd left on her wrist. He clucked his tongue. "Tsk, I marked you more than once." He lifted her marked wrist to his mouth and placed a tender kiss over the bruise, making her whimper softly.  
  
"Kyp..." she squirmed, but didn't really feel like fighting him. "I thought you said we had to talk."  
  
He settled, barely any of his weight on her as he braced himself. "So talk."  
  
She blinked. "Like this?"  
  
"Sure." He smirked. "I could get used to this."  
  
She swallowed. "Alright, let's start with your declaration to my parents."  
  
Kyp hung his head, his bangs brushing her flight suit, "I was hoping you wouldn't start there."  
  
She tugged at her hands, but he didn't release her. "Why not? I think I deserve to know your intentions, don't you?"  
  
He looked up at her through his bangs, "Now, Jay? When you're still reeling with the developments? When you still have yet to finish with Jag?" he tilted his head until he was looking her straight in the eyes. "I love you, it's not fair for me to put that kind of pressure on you when you're still trying to deal with the previous relationship. What kind of man would I be if I pressured you into something when you're not thinking straight?"  
  
"You really mean that?"  
  
He nodded. "Of course I mean that. I don't just sprout off devotions of affection and sacrifice for nothing you know."  
  
She laughed softly. "Thank you, Kyp."  
  
"Don't thank me, it's hard enough keeping my hands to myself when we're with other people," he dropped his head, nuzzling her neck, "but you isolated us in my room. Am I still under orders to behave, your greatness?" his last words were whispered as he placed a kiss where her jaw met her neck.  
  
She closed her eyes. "I... Y-yes."  
  
He sighed, resting his forehead against her neck. "Alright. What else is on your mind."  
  
"Could..." she swallowed hard, trying again as her voice cracked. "Could you get off me?"  
  
Kyp lifted his head, his familiar smirk showing itself. "Having a little trouble thinking?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
Kyp rolled away, unable to resist planting a kiss at the base of her throat before he got to his feet. He pulled her back into a sitting position before settling next to her on his bunk. She was flushed, her heart racing from his nearness, his teasing, and her breath catching in her throat. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the gentle touch he was brushing over the back of her hand. She turned her head. "What were we talking about?"  
  
Kyp began to laugh, "Something about keeping this a secret, I think."  
  
"Oh, right." She shook her head. "I was thinking we shouldn't be alone for awhile, I mean, by ourselves-"  
  
"Too late, Goddess."  
  
"Let me finish! As I was saying, there's alot to work through still, I mean, I have to find a way to convince Jag without it seeming as if I'm ditching him for you-"  
  
"When in fact you are."  
  
"-and then I have to make sure people know we're not a item." She shot him a look. "That'd be very bad for my Goddess cover to be seen going from a pilot to a Jedi Master."  
  
"Oh I don't know," he brushed her hair off her neck, leaning in to kiss the smooth column again, "I'd say you're moving up in the ranks."  
  
"Kyp!" she protested weakly. "I can't think when you... when..."  
  
"Good," he murmured softly. "You think too much."  
  
"You're supposed to behave!" she moaned, unable to help herself from leaning towards him.  
  
"Are you sure you still want me to?" he asked softly. "We're stuck in here for the moment, Jay. Just you and me..."  
  
She turned her head, her brown eyes almost black, "I... we shouldn't."  
  
"We shouldn't do alot of things." He murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear. "That didn't stop us before."  
  
"Kyp..." she protested softly, her eyes drifting shut.   
  
"I'm waiting for your word, Jaina," he murmured, pulling back as she tilted her head to kiss him. "Am I free to misbehave?"  
  
"The hell with discipline." She told him fiercely. "If you don't kiss me I'm going to go insane!"  
  
"We can't have that, can we?" he placed a soft kiss on the edge of her lips, enjoying the way her head moved, her breath caught.  
  
"Kyp. Please..."  
  
"The words, Jay," his lips hovered barely above hers, "I want to hear them."  
  
"Kiss me."  
  
He closed the gap, her mouth opening immediately under his as she melted into his arms. Kyp pulled her onto his lap, his hands sliding up her back before one undid the two buttons at the front of her flight suit where it covered her stomach and slipped inside. She leaned into his touch as his warm hand connected with her skin. She sighed into his mouth as he laid her back, slowly breaking the kiss. The intensity of her response shocked him still.  
  
She protested, her hands sliding into his hair to pull him back, "More," she told him, "I don't want to hide when I'm alone with you, Kyp. Not now, not ever. We might not get another chance to do this; tomorrow may never come. Please?"  
  
His hands stilled. "Jaina, are you sure? You're the one who wanted to wait until everything is fixed."  
  
She shook her head. "I wanted to play it safe. My dad told me, after you left, that if I know my heart I should follow it. It leads to you. Please, Kyp? Make love to me?"  
  
It would have taken a stronger man than he to disappoint her. The General and his orders be damned! Jaina was his, and his alone. Nothing, not even a galaxy width between them, would have stopped him from obliging her at that moment. If it ended up with his banishment from the fleet, so be it. 


	6. Chapter 6

Strong Enough   
Chapter 6  
  
  
Several hours later, a knock on his door had Kyp sitting bolt upright in bed. Jaina was sleeping, curled close to his side, her hair fanned out on his pillow. The covers were carelessly draped across them, their clothing scattered across his floor. He looked at the door, reaching out with the Force. Kriff! Wedge! Kyp slid from his bed, concentrating. Wedge wasn't angry, just concerned and a little suspicious.  
  
"Durron! You in there?"  
  
Jaina awoke at the sound of Wedge's voice, sucking in a sharp breath of surprise. Her eyes widened as she realized exactly where she was and she scrambled for the sheet. "Kyp!" she hissed.  
  
He waved her down, reaching into Wedge's thoughts and subtly -pushing-... The sound of Wedge's footsteps leading away from his door could be heard and he closed his eyes, letting out the breath he'd been holding. Wedge wouldn't return for the next thirty minutes at least. Enough time for him to put his room to rights, he hoped.  
  
"Kyp."  
  
He turned to face her, sitting on the edge of his bed. She was mused, her hair awry and hanging tangled about her shoulders dressed in only a sheet. He grinned. "You look sexy, Goddess."  
  
She slid towards him, "And you're almost irresistible."  
  
"Almost?" he looked wounded.  
  
She nodded, sliding from his bed and reaching for her clothing. "What'd you do to Wedge?"  
  
"I instilled the idea that he had better check for me in two other places before checking here." Kyp ran a hand through his hair, settling back on his bed as she dressed, watching her slide into her flight suit and quickly fasten it. "I think I like that outfit."  
  
She didn't look up, "Really?"  
  
He nodded, grinning. "It looks good on my floor."  
  
Her head came up and she telekinetically threw her boot at him. "You're incorrigible. I can't lose you to Wedge's ultimatum. Get dressed already, if he comes back we can claim I'm here discussing maneuvers."  
  
Kyp chuckled. "Again, I feel like a teenager sneaking around behind mom and dad's back. What is it about you that makes me feel that way?" he caught her about the waist as she reached for her boot and dragged her back down onto the bed. "Care to explain, Goddess?"  
  
"What, how you can't keep your hands to yourself?" she demanded, grabbing her boot and pushing herself up into a sitting position as she tugged it onto her foot. "I haven't a clue. Kyp, I can't be here when Wedge gets back, it's just too suspicious."  
  
Kyp dragged her back, pinning her close to him. "I know, Jay, but relax would you? He's gone for the moment."  
  
She seemed to tense for a moment more before relaxing against him, her head on his shoulder tilted slightly to the side. "I'm scared."  
  
He ran his hands gently up and down her forearms. "I know," he laid his head along side hers, kissing her cheek softly. "I am too. I don't want to lose you, but maybe we should cool it while Wedge is hot on our heels."  
  
She chuckled. "A little late for that." She bit her lip as he nuzzled her ear. "Kyp, please, I have to go."  
  
He sighed, dropping his chin to her shoulder before releasing her reluctantly. "Alright, but no sneaking into my room after hours, your greatness."  
  
She swatted him before sitting forward and grabbing her other boot. "Like I'd have to." She laced it up and stood, turning to look at him. On impulse she leaned forward, kissing him hard.  
  
Kyp barely had time to react before she was pulling away and shrinking the door. He lunged for the blanket, pulling it across his lap just as she pulled the door free. She didn't look back as she slipped from the room, barely propping the slate back in place. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. Had she even noticed the way her face was flushed or that her hair was awry? Probably not.   
  
He shrugged, leaning back on his bed and tucking his hands behind his head. Wedge would be back in a bit, he should probably get up and do something, like push-ups, but he was too tired. Jaina had worn him down pretty good. He grinning. She'd love hearing that, he was sure. He stared at the ceiling, his smile slowly fading. She was scared of losing him. Now that was something he'd never thought to hear.   
  
Who'd have thought such a small phrase would have run through him like lightning? Scared? Scared of losing her? Scared didn't even begin to cover it. He woke each morning terrified that today she was going to be taken from his life. Despite the changes in their relationship the last few days, that hadn't changed. Today, tonight, the next battle, the next retreat, he could lose her. Be it by his own death or hers, he could be separated from her. And that terrified him.   
  
Did he understand her fear? Oh yes, better than she knew, and better than she'd ever known and ever would. He'd loved her for years, had to live with it each day, watching her slowly make mistakes with her private life. Mistakes he'd known he could have fixed for her, but wouldn't. She'd had to make them to grow. And grown she had. He smiled faintly. What a woman she'd become.  
  
A knock on his door brought his head up. "A bad time, Durron?"  
  
"Wedge."  
  
Wedge Antilles stepped into the room, taking in the clothing strewn about the floor before meeting Kyp's gaze. "Your comm. is off and there's a message from Luke waiting for you. Jedi business from all accounts. When you're through with him, could you give me a hand finding Jaina? I need to talk to her."  
  
Kyp pushed himself up on his elbows, "Sure General. Give me a few minutes and I'll see what I can do."  
  
Wedge nodded and stepped out. Kyp grabbed his pants and slid into them quickly before hastily dressing. A message from Luke? He shook his head. Probably something council related. It figured. He stepped into the 'fresher and double checked there were no outward signs of their earlier activities before heading out. Pushing his door into a semblance of on track, Kyp quickly left his room and headed for the lounge where he could access the communications.  
  
It was late, ship time, and few people were about, thankfully as he slid into the private comm. booth. Keying in his password he quickly called up the message from Luke Skywalker. It was text only.   
  
  
Kyp.  
  
We're sending Tahiri Velia to you and Jaina. We were intending to send her to Leia, but Tahiri is in a downward darkside slide and I think she'll benefit more from you and Jaina than from anyone else. Give her what guidance you can and see if you can't snap the grief that's causing it.  
  
Luke Skywalker.  
  
  
Kyp sank back in his chair, closing his eyes. Great, just what he needed; another young Jedi to drive him up the wall. Shaking his head, he saved the message, copied it to a datapad and closed down the terminal. He had to find Wedge and explain the matter. There was a bright side. He and Jaina had been instructed by Luke to help Tahiri, which meant they'd have to work in close quarters with each other and plan. A smile slid across his lips. As much as he didn't need or want another apprentice, Tahiri's presence would serve two purposes. And that was good enough.  
  
He found Wedge waiting for him outside the comm. room. "A change of plans, General Antilles."  
  
"You'll be leaving us?"  
  
Kyp almost laughed at the badly disguised note of hope in Wedge's voice. Kyp shook his head. "Your luck isn't that good. You aren't getting rid of me that easily. Jaina and I have been given a mission by the Jedi Council." He handed over the datapad, taking a perverse kind of pleasure in the way Wedge's brows drew together in irritation.  
  
Wedge looked up. "I can't exactly go against this, but I think it's extremely ill-advised. I was hoping to find Jaina. Come with me, you can help me find her and explain what's going on."  
  
Kyp nodded agreeably, biting his tongue. He had an uneasy feeling that Wedge was spoiling for a fight. One that was either going to cost him and Jaina a lot, or, that was going to bring their new relationship completely out into the open. Either way, he wasn't looking forward to it. As they marched through the halls towards Jaina's room, Kyp felt something sink in the pit of his stomach. Wedge was going to let them have it with both barrels. And he wouldn't like the responding blow.  
  
  
  
  
Jaina answered after Wedge knocked on her door a second time. She was in the process of drying her hair, dressed in a robe that had obviously seen better days. Her eyes widened and Kyp knew immediately she hadn't sensed anything beyond her door first. He'd have to talk to her about that.  
  
"Jaina." Wedge didn't move, keeping his gaze on her face as she wrapped the towel around her neck. "We have to talk to you."  
  
"Sure General. Give me two minutes, I'm not exactly decent."  
  
Wedge turned as she closed the door, missing the wink she shot Kyp. For his part, his kept his face impassive as the General paced back and forth waiting for Jaina to emerge. When she did, she was shrugging into her flight Jacket, her hair carefully arranged around her shoulders, her collar the same high one she'd been sporting the last couple of days. "Shall we, gentlemen?"  
  
"After you Goddess," Kyp told her with an elaborate gesture.   
  
Wedge frowned at them both. "This way."  
  
Jaina walked behind Wedge with Kyp, glancing at him questioningly. He shrugged fractionally. He honestly didn't know what Wedge was on about. Other than maybe reprimanding them at the same time. Wouldn't that be entertaining? Kyp slanted a long look at the young woman walking beside him, trying to picture her reaction to his own news. Would she be happy her dead brother's girlfriend was coming to stay with them? Probably not. She rarely talked about Anakin, which was a shame since Kyp had admired the youngest Solo, respected him even. Anakin's death had been a great loss. Kyp didn't pay much attention to where they were headed and when Wedge led the way into a meeting room, followed without complaint. He could have gotten away, avoided this, but better to has it out now rather than later.   
  
Jaina stopped inside the door, locking it as Wedge rounded on them both, crossing his arms over his chest. "Do both of you know why you're here?"  
  
Kyp settled into one of the many chairs, stretching his legs out in front of him almost insolently. "Just cut to the chase, Wedge, you were never a diplomat."  
  
Wedge looked straight at Jaina. "I've already spoken to both of you regarding your conduct-"  
  
"And issued an ultimatum." Kyp interjected.  
  
"-and from what I can see it's gotten worse. The high collar doesn't fool me, Jaina, and neither do the long sleeves. I'm not blind and the holo-cams on the flight deck are very accurate. I want you both to spell it out for me. Now. What's going on and where does Jag fit into this?"  
  
Jaina swallowed hard, feeling her face becoming a lovely shade of red. "I think you already know, sir."  
  
Wedge arched an eyebrow, obviously only barely holding onto his temper. "Spell it out, Solo. I'm waiting."  
  
She winced. Ouch. Again with the Solo. "Well, you see sir, I was engaged to Jag, but before he left on his latest turn, I'd broken our engagement."  
  
"Because of him?" Wedge looked pointedly at Kyp and both of them could see his hands clenching into fists. This wasn't going so well.  
  
"Well, yes, sir." She admitted. "I came to realize that Jag and I just aren't compatible."  
  
"So you've been what, -toying- with him for the last two years?" Wedge demanded angrily. "Playing with his emotions and feelings to get what you wanted? That's low, Jaina, real low."  
  
"It wasn't like that!" she protested. "There was just something missing between Jag and I, that's all! I swear! I respect Jag-"  
  
"Like hell you do!" Wedge's voice cracked like a whip, "If you respected him you wouldn't have gone directly from his arms to Durron's!"  
  
Jaina came to attention and looked stoically past him as Kyp leapt to his feet. "Now wait a minute, General, you go too far!"  
  
"And you!" Wedge rounded on the Jedi Master. "I thought you had better judgment than to fool around with a woman sixteen years your junior! A woman who was engaged, at the time, to another man! Have you no scruples? No morals?"  
  
Kyp's eyes narrowed. "I have tried for the last two years to keep my hands to myself," Kyp replied evenly. "And I've succeeded. I have done everything in my power to stay away from her, to not interfere. And then, when she finally notices me, you, General Antilles, a hero of the New Republic have a problem with it! I'm sorry I don't meet your code for who can and can't see Jaina. I'm sorry you find me so objectionable, but get this, General. Your opinion means nothing, -nothing- to me. The relationships I choose to form are none of your business."  
  
Wedge glared right back at the Jedi. "When they involve a member of my family, Durron, they become my business. Jag is my nephew, if this hurts him..."  
  
"That's his own fault." Jaina stepped between the two, looking from one to the other. "I explained it, Wedge, very carefully that I'm not in love with him. I admit we haven't spoken at length due to his recent assignment but that will change when he comes back."  
  
"And until you do, Jaina, I was expecting more restraint! Not to see you walking around with a large purple bruise on your neck!"  
  
She paled. "Wedge!"  
  
Kyp grabbed a fist of Wedge's tunic. "Regardless of what you think of me," he said dangerously, "You will treat Jaina with respect. Hate me, loathe me, despise me, but don't take out whatever animosity you feel towards me on her."  
  
"It takes two, Durron," Wedge told him evenly, breaking the hold on his jacket, "She's hardly blameless."  
  
"And neither does she bear the brunt of the responsibility." Kyp gently pushed Jaina behind him, his hold at odds with his harsh words. "If you want to take someone down a few notches, I'm more than willing to play scapegoat."  
  
Wedge's brown eyes blazed with anger. "She's old enough to take responsibility for her actions. You can't keep protecting her Durron. Sooner or later she's going to have to face the music."  
  
Jaina tugged Kyp back before he took a swing at Wedge. "You're right," she admitted, "but my intention isn't to hurt Jag, Wedge! It's just going to happen! I didn't lead him on, or mislead him intentionally, I had every intention of going through with the promise I'd made, but that's not the point! The point is that I found something was missing with Jag. There was no passion, no fire between us. Would you have married without it? Would you?"  
  
Wedge met her gaze and she could tell he was listening to her words, but he was still hurt. Hurting for Jag and the heartache she was going to be putting him through, however unintentionally. "That doesn't give you the right to jump from him to -him-."  
  
She flinched. Wedge was right in that respect. "I didn't plan it that way Wedge, I didn't plan on anything. I'm sorry you're going to have to watch this."  
  
Wedge stepped away from them both, taking a deep breath. "If I had my way, Kyp wouldn't be staying on with the fleet; he'd he leaving in the morning. However, I've been overruled by the Jedi Council. Kyp."  
  
Kyp turned to Jaina. "We've been issued an sort of apprentice between us, Goddess."  
  
She blinked. "We've what? Who else have you told?"  
  
Kyp chuckled. "Nobody. Luke sent me a message this afternoon explaining the arrangement."  
  
"And who is this unfortunate soul?"  
  
"Your fellow Jedi Knight, Tahiri Velia."  
  
Jaina stumbled backwards, careening into a chair and dropping with a shocked exclamation. "Tahiri!" She closed her eyes, fighting against the memories the young girl's name evoked. Tahiri and her brother, Anakin laughing. Tahiri beside Anakin's pale, still form during their escape from Mykrr. Tahiri mourning her brother as if she didn't want to live. She swallowed hard. "Why us?"  
  
Kyp crouched in front of her. "Because she's going through a darkside spiral and both of us know what it's like to be there. She needs our help."  
  
Jaina lifted her head, slowly looking at Kyp and then beyond him to Wedge. "Recall Jag. I have to talk to him before Tahiri gets here."  
  
Wedge's lips thinned. "Recall him?"  
  
Jaina nodded. "This has to come out, Wedge and I'd much rather it did before Tahiri gets here. Jag will probably want to return to Chiss space after this, to heal. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, this just keeps getting tangled more and more."  
  
Wedge nodded sharply. "I'll recall him, but you'd better know what you're doing, Solo."  
  
She watched as he left the room before turning her gaze back to Kyp's concerned face. "I'm alright."  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked, gently brushing her hair off her face.   
  
She smiled faintly. "As good as I can be right now, Kyp." She linked her fingers through his, running her thumb over the back of his fingers. "I'll be alright when she gets here so long as I don't have to deal with her and Jag at the same time."  
  
Kyp helped her to her feet, stroking her hair before smiling. "It's late, you should get some sleep."  
  
Neither of them knew exactly how prophetic her words would be. 


	7. Chapter 7

Strong Enough   
Chapter 7  
  
  
The next afternoon Jaina headed for the Falcon and the confrontation with her mother that was long overdue. Han was meeting with Wedge, and though she'd love to be a bug on the wall for that conversation, she had her own to do. Kyp was, thankfully, staying away for the moment, out on an inspection of the Twin Suns. Sometimes being a Goddess was nice; it got her out of the every day workings of her squad. When she wanted that is. And today she certainly didn't need to deal with it.  
  
"Mom?" she called, walking up the ramp to the Falcon's interior. She headed for the game room only to find her mother wasn't there. "Mom?" she called again.  
  
"Up here, honey!" came the muffled voice from the cockpit, "Give me a minute, I'll be right there!"  
  
Again she was in the cockpit? What was it her mom was doing in there anyway? Jaina paced back and forth across the game room, waiting, unable to sit still. Her brain was still reeling from the information that she and Kyp were supposed to be helping Tahiri. She fought against the onslaught of emotions that threatened with every thought of Anakin's girlfriend. The blonde haired imp that still refused to wear shoes. She sighed, shaking her head to banish the thoughts. Dealing with Tahiri was going to be like dealing with Jag. It was going to take some careful wording and action. And it was going to be hell.  
  
"Sorry, Jaina, was there something I could help you with?"  
  
She looked up to find her mother cleaning her hands with an oily rag and blinked. "Mom? What are you doing in there?"  
  
Leia shrugged. "Your father asked me to double check the placement of the new chair since Chewie's was removed. I'm making some adjustments."  
  
"Oh." Jaina motioned for her mom to sit. "Could you... I mean, is it possible we could talk? About Kyp and I?"  
  
"I said everything I've intended to say on the matter, Jaina." Leia told her pointedly. "You know I don't approve of the relationship."  
  
Jaina sighed. "I know. I'm sorry you don't, I mean, you were younger than me when you and dad-"  
  
"That's different."  
  
"How?"  
  
Leia sighed, settling into the booth and Jaina sitting across from her. "Your father and I... well, he didn't like me much at first. And I admit I didn't like him either, even though I couldn't seem to stop looking at him. Han was very..."  
  
Jaina smiled wryly. "Compelling?"  
  
Leia nodded. "That's it exactly. Now, Jaina, I know you're drawn to Kyp, but Jag is a much better match for you. He's from a good family, he's Wedge's nephew you know, and he has more prospects than Kyp will ever have."  
  
"Would you have married Isolder, mom?" Jaina asked quietly. "Would you have, if you knew what you know now?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Then why should I marry Jag when I know it would be condemning myself to a life without love?" Jaina folded her hands on the table top, looking directly at them, unable to meet her mother's gaze. "Jag loves me, he might even be in love with me, but I'm not with him. I don't feel compelled to search him out after a mission to check if he's alright. I don't have these urges to find him when something goes wrong and just talk about it. I don't fall asleep at night thinking about him. I didn't choose to fall in love with Kyp. If I could have, do you think I would?"  
  
Leia folded her hands around her daughter's and squeezed. "Why do you love Kyp Jaina?"  
  
Jaina sat back, biting her lip. "I don't know. I just... do. He makes me smile, makes me laugh. He's not afraid to challenge me when he knows I'm wrong. He treats me like an equal. He's funny, and caring, and he's always there when I need someone." She sighed, shaking her head. "He's worked his way so far under my skin I have a hard time keeping my eyes off him when he's around. Not to mention my hands."  
  
"Jaina!" Leia scolded, but she was smiling reluctantly. "I see he's managed to effect you the way your father does me."  
  
Jaina finally lifted her head to meet her mother's gaze. "But you don't like him."  
  
"No, and I don't know if that will ever change." Leia squeezed her hands before letting go. "I did say I'd try to understand, Jaina, to accept it, but it's not going to be easy. I don't want to see you hurt again."  
  
"I don't want to be hurt," she admitted quietly. "But Kyp has been good to his word. He thinks about me first, even before his own problems, and I know he's got alot of them. Is it wrong to love someone because they accept you as you are, not for what you could become?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
Jaina pushed herself to her feet and began to pace. "Then why are you so against it. Jag doesn't love me; he loves what I could become. His wife, the mother of his children and the woman who'll settle down to give him anything he wants. At least, that's what some of our conversations have led me to believe. Do you know he actually expects me to stop flying if the Vong are ever pushed back? He wants me to settle with him in Chiss space. Chiss! As if I could ever live in the unknown regions with little or no contact with my family. I mean, sure, for a visit but live there?"  
  
Leia settled back, listening. It wasn't often she saw Jaina let loose like this and it was a refreshing change from the standoffish conversations they'd had the last few times. It was nice not to argue with her daughter.  
  
"And then, before he goes on this routine scout he's on now, he has the nerve to say I'd be honored! Honored, ha! What's that supposed to mean, I mean, come on, honor is good but I prefer my freedom. It was strange, until Kyp ran from me in the hangar a few days ago, I'd had this feeling like something was missing. Like something was weighing me down, pressing on my chest and making it hard to breathe. When I realized, after confronting Kyp, what was missing, I broke off the engagement and I felt free. Is that wrong? Is it wrong to feel good about breaking someone's hopes because you own are suddenly restored?"  
  
Jaina stopped, turning to look at her mom, her cheeks suddenly flaming. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spit all that out."  
  
Leia shook her head. "Don't apologize, it helps me make sense of what you're doing and why. From the sound of it you're still pretty confused as to what you're wanting."  
  
"No, no, I know what I want. It's just..." Jaina rubbed her forehead. "It's like suddenly being handed the galaxy on a silver platter and someone saying I can have anything, do anything, I want and nobody can stop me. At least, that's how it feels with Kyp. With Jag it was like being told I could have anything only the outer rim was off limits, the unknown regions were forbidden and the core was out of the question. The options seemed more limited and restricted. Kyp's wild enough that the options, all the options, are still open. He doesn't have the roots that Jag does so he's willing to explore more. To examine all the options, bar none. It's very refreshing to have someone like that challenge me."  
  
"So what's the problem then? I don't think you came here just to try and convince me that Kyp is better for you. I'll reserve my judgment on that issue for after you two last over a year. If that's possible."  
  
Jaina settled back into the chair. "Uncle Luke and the Jedi Council have asked Kyp and I to look out for Tahiri." Her throat closed but she swallowed the lump and continued, "Apparently she's going through a darkside spiral that only Kyp and I can help with." She shook her head. "I don't see why Uncle Luke would think we can help her."  
  
Leia was silent. Tahiri's name brought back the pain of losing her baby, and it took her a minute to recover. "Why not you?" Leia asked softly. "You've been where she is, Jaina. I admit Jacen was returned to us, but he's different now. You know what it's like to lose someone as close to you as Anakin was to her. She could learn something from you."  
  
"But why now?" Jaina closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead, "Why when I'm breaking off my engagement, and getting into a new relationship? Couldn't he wait for a week or two?"  
  
Leia laughed. "Things happen for a reason, Jaina. You'll figure it out."  
  
Jaina glanced at her mom with a smile. "All I need is for Zekk to show up and I'm top ranked. I've gotta run, I have reports to finish before Jag returns tonight. Once that's over with I doubt I'll have the peace of mind to deal with them."  
  
Leia nodded, finding a smile for her daughter as she left the Falcon but once Jaina was out of sight it slowly died. She'd been given alot to think about. 


	8. Chapter 8

Strong Enough   
Chapter 8  
  
  
Kyp watched as Jag's claw craft landed, the sleek lines of the ship making him shake his head again in awe. As uptight as Jag was, he certainly knew how to fly... and the Chiss were one hell of a design team. If only they could be convinced to enter the war for good. He frowned. Thinking of that, wasn't Jag due to return to Chiss space to confirm his report or something? He pushed the thought away. Jag wasn't going to be happy when he finally got the chance to speak with Jaina and might do exactly that. Kyp approached the ship as Jag popped the hatch. "Colonel."  
  
Jag looked up, his dark eyes narrowing suspiciously, "Master Durron." He pulled off his helmet and put it on his seat before dropping to the deck beside Kyp. "Can I help you with something?"  
  
No thanks, Kyp thought, struggling to keep a smug smile off his face, I've already helped myself to your fiancée. Really, I couldn't impose. Out loud he said, "General Antilles wanted to speak with you once you landed and the Goddess would like a word. I'm playing errand boy."  
  
Jag didn't even crack a smile, just nodded once and began to walk away, his back ramrod straight. Kyp shook his head. "Your welcome." He said peevishly. So the man had alot on his mind, that didn't give him the right to treat Kyp like a second rate officer. He supposed he could be gracious though; Jag was about to get the shock of a lifetime... and it wasn't going to be a good one. Kyp whistled slightly off key as he headed for his X-Wing. His astromech could use a diagnostic and the flight deck was the perfect place to hide in plain sight. Not that he'd be hiding, he just didn't want to give Jag the opportunity for a private confrontation later. And that was going to be satisfying indeed.  
  
  
Jag made his way at an even pace towards Jaina's quarters. His uncle could wait. He'd spent the better part of his mission, the whole three days he'd been gone, thinking about what she'd said and had barely been able to concentrate. If the General hadn't called him back, he would have come back on his own citing himself as a liability. He wouldn't put other people's lives on the line because his fiancée suddenly thought to break their engagement. He barely spared Kyp two thoughts, not finding it unusual that another person should bring him word of whom he was supposed to be meeting. Of course, it was rare to send someone as prominent and, yes, arrogant as Kyp. He shrugged it off, his mind turning back to Jaina. He was eager to see her and yet not. He only hoped she'd changed her mind in the time he'd been gone, otherwise he would have to convince her otherwise. Again.  
  
He knocked on the door, running a hand through his slightly sweaty hair to even it out, and waited for her response.   
  
"Yeah, yeah," came the muffled voice from the inside, "give me a second."  
  
He waited patiently, his stomach churning, butterflies swimming though his system. The door opened and there she stood. Her eyes widened in shocked surprise. "Jag!"  
  
"Goddess," he inclined his head to her, "you wished to speak with me?"  
  
Jaina swallowed hard. He was back and she was far from ready. She wasn't looking forward to this conversation, had been dreading it in fact, since whatever she planned to say never seemed to come out right. He was going to take this all wrong and there was little she could do to straighten it out. She nodded, staring at him and stepped back, motioning for him to come in.  
  
Jag stepped inside, noting the messy pile of paper work across her desk and bed, spread out as if she'd been in a frenzy to get it finished. "If this is a bad time, it can wait."  
  
The out she'd wanted yet, now that she was here, she just wanted to get this over with. She didn't want to prolong it any longer than she had to. "No, no, it's alright. I'd rather speak with you now, if that's alright."  
  
He inclined his head, feeling more than a little out of place as she quickly stacked several of the sheets and placed them on her desk. She turned to face him, gripping the edge of the desk. "How was your assignment?"  
  
"It could have been better," he told her honestly.  
  
She winced. "I'm sorry about that Jag. I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"Have you changed your mind, then?"  
  
She shook her head, meeting his gaze for a half second before dropping it to the toes of her boots. "No," she said softly, "I haven't."  
  
Jag felt as if she'd clubbed him with a boot in the gut. She hadn't changed her mind. "Why?" he demanded evenly, "What suddenly changed your mind, Jaina? Tell me that much at least."  
  
She inhaled sharply. She'd known the question was coming, had even expected it, but the even tone in which he'd delivered it was worse than shouting. She let out her breath, still unable to meet his gaze. "I got to thinking the night your left," she admitted softly. "Every time we talked about the future you insisted on certain things. One of them was living in Chiss space. I couldn't do that. I couldn't live so far from all of my family and friends."  
  
"There's more to it than that," he replied, taking a couple of steps towards her, "At least look at me when you're talking, I deserve that much!"  
  
She lifted her head, meeting his gaze, and flinched. His eyes were ablaze with pain and betrayal. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "Jag, I swear, I had every intention of marrying you, but things change!"  
  
"Not in one night!" he lashed back, his tone still even.   
  
Even with his heart as battered and broken as it was, he still wouldn't yell at her. Wouldn't really argue with her. Jaina glared at him. "Yes in one night," she yelled, "Is that so hard to believe? I'm not in love with you, I never was! I was in love with the idea of having a family and a secure place to call my own, if I live out this war! Why is that so hard to accept?"  
  
Jag stepped back in surprise. Jaina had never yelled at him before. Never. She'd always been even tempered with him. Sure she'd yelled, just never -at- him before, always about something else. "What changed?" he demanded, his anger and hurt starting to fray his control, "What changed?"  
  
She stepped towards him. "I changed," she told him evenly, her hands clenched at her sides, "Me, Jag. I'm the one who changed. I realized that what you were offering was nothing more than a gilded cage of respect and suppressed freedoms. I couldn't live like that, how did you ever think I could?"  
  
"It wouldn't be like that," he protested.  
  
"You've said you don't want me flying once we're married," she reminded him, "you want a son and heir to carry on your name. I don't begrudge you that, but it's not what I want. Don't you see?" she asked, stepping closer to him, "We're too different Jag. You want something from me that I could never give. And not once, not once!, did you ask me what I thought about living in Chiss space. You didn't ask if I wanted that, you just assumed we'd live there. I can't live like that!"  
  
Jag stared down at her for a full moment, watching her brandy eyes carefully. "Who turned you against me?" he demanded, grabbing her shoulders suddenly and shaking her once. "Who? What's his name, Jaina?"  
  
"Why does it have to be another man?" she demanded, struggling to break his grip, but without the focus to tap the Force, she couldn't. His fingers dug into her upper arms like bands of durasteel, trapping her close.  
  
"A woman doesn't change her mind about a month-long engagement unless it's another man. Tell me his name!"  
  
Her eyes blazed. "Let go of me!"  
  
"No." Jag's head came down, slanting his mouth across hers in a kiss that spoke more of desperation than anger.   
  
Jaina turned her head away, bringing her knees up, only to have them blocked by his thigh. She was walked backwards, trapped against the desk as she kicked at his shins. His hold loosened momentarily and she twisted her arms, shoving him back forcefully. "I don't love you, Jag," she told him fiercely, "Kissing me isn't going to change that."  
  
Jag straightened slowly, barely reigning himself in. "Who was it Jaina? Another pilot? A Jedi? Maybe that old boyfriend of yours?"  
  
She blinked. Old boyfriend? What old... Zekk? She felt sick to her stomach. Jag was drawing all the right conclusions to the wrong man. "No."  
  
"Who was it?"  
  
"There's nobody, alright?" she snapped, "Nobody else! I chose to end our engagement because my feelings for you aren't what I thought they were. I'm not in love with you, I never was, I'm sorry you can't accept that!"  
  
"You're lying," he accused, "I can see it in your eyes. I want the truth, Jaina, who're you replacing me with?"  
  
She was shaking. Shaking so badly she wanted to slap him, to scream, but that would get her nowhere. She wrapped her hands around the edge of the desk again. "The truth?" she echoed. "The truth, Jag, is that there's no passion between us. There's an attraction but that's it."  
  
"His name, Jaina."  
  
She swallowed hard. He wasn't going to like this. What did she care? She wondered silently, it wasn't like she was marrying him anymore. "Kyp," she told him evenly.  
  
Jag's eyes widened and then, to her surprise, he began to laugh. "Kyp? As in, Kyp Durron? You hate him, Jaina, what'd he promise you? Forever? A planet? Maybe your own kingdom?"  
  
Her lips flattened into a firm line. "Freedom," she told him softly. "He offered me freedom, Jag. Freedom from you, freedom from my position and freedom from all your empty promises of home and respect."  
  
Jag sobered instantly, the pain evident on his features. "How could you do this to me?" he asked raggedly, the events seeming to finally settle in. "How could you choose -him- of all people? It's Kyp, Jaina! Kyp Durron, the man who has no respect for anything but himself!"  
  
Jaina narrowed her eyes. "You're wrong. So very wrong. I'm sorry Jag, but you and I are through. I'd like you to leave."  
  
Jag stared at her for a long moment before nodding once. "I'll leave, but you're wrong, Jaina; this isn't over. I won't lose you to him."  
  
She laughed sharply. "You already have. Drop it Jag. I'd like you to stay in the squadron, you're an excellent pilot, but I'll understand if you don't."  
  
He stopped by the door, "You're serious."  
  
"Deadly."  
  
He seemed to lose some of his height, as if a great weight had suddenly settled on his shoulders. "I will always love you, Jaina," he told her softly before saluting once and spinning on his heel.   
  
She watched the door close behind him, letting out the breath that had caught in her throat. Tears stung the back of her eyes and she let them come. Covering her mouth with her hand she muffled her sobs as she cried for the pain she'd inflicted on him and the dreams she'd shattered. And she cried for herself, the loss of a friend and companion that could never be replaced. 


	9. Chapter 9

Strong Enough   
Chapter 9  
  
  
Kyp was rising from under his X-wing when voice called his name. "Master Durron?"  
  
His head came up. A tall, lanky young man, his black hair tied back at the nape of his neck with a thong, his emerald eyes clear and blazing with life, was approaching him. Walking at his side, struggling to break his grip on her wrist, was the blonde haired, barefooted waif that was to be put in his charge. His gaze went back to the man and he raised an eyebrow. "Zekk?"  
  
The younger man smiled, extending his hand. "I see you remember. You remember Tahiri?"  
  
Kyp wiped his hand on a rag before shaking Zekk's hand. "Yes. I only got the message from Luke yesterday, you were already enroute?"  
  
Zekk nodded. "We set out as soon as the council made their decision. Unfortunately the message was relayed so many times due to the erratic movement of the fleet that you got it much later than planned. Master Skywalker had hoped to give you a week or so to prepare."  
  
Kyp shrugged, "A day's notice is better than getting the note after the fact. How'd you get charged with her?" his gaze went to Tahiri who was tugging on her hand, trying to pry Zekk's fingers from around her wrist and failing. She was shorter than even Jaina, a tiny thing by anyone's standards and Kyp again wondered why he'd been charged with her.  
  
"I think Master Skywalker only wanted Jedi who've touched the darkside to deal with her," Zekk looked down at the young blonde woman, his features softening. "I don't blame him. Nor do I envy you. A week and a half alone with her was certainly a challenge."  
  
"I'm standing right here," Tahiri said peevishly, glaring at Zekk, "and I can hear everything you're saying."  
  
"Ahh, the spitfire has life," Zekk teased, ruffling her hair, "easy sprite, I was just teasing."  
  
Kyp watched avidly as Zekk gently teased the fragile young girl. He seemed to have made some kind of agreement with her and Kyp found that very intriguing. "You've grown attached to her."  
  
Zekk looked back to the Jedi Master. "I feel like her older brother," he winked at Kyp, "I'm about the only contact she's had the last month."  
  
Kyp chuckled, "Care to stick around for a few days? I'm sure Jaina would appreciate your help. I know I would."  
  
"I appreciate the offer but-"   
  
"Please, Zekk?" Tahiri pleaded softly, looking at him.  
  
Zekk crumbled at the quaver in her voice, "Oh alright. Twist my rubber arm. Is Jaina around? I'd like to say hi."  
  
Kyp shook his head. "Last I heard she was in her quarters. She and Jag had something serious to discuss."  
  
"Ahh." Zekk shook his head. "I'll leave her be then. If you'll just point me to quarters, I'll get our things from the Lightning Rod and leave you to talk to Tahiri."  
  
Tahiri protested but Kyp ignored her, quickly giving the young Jedi Knight directions and the room numbers assigned Tahiri and her escort by Wedge. Zekk dropped Tahiri's wrist and wandered off after throwing a jaunty wave over his shoulder.  
  
Kyp looked down at Tahiri, noting how she seemed to lose fire and energy as Zekk passed out of sight. A darker presence, an aura of hatred and despair was quick to close in, making her Force signature jump in power. Kyp shook his head. "Tahiri."  
  
She didn't even look at him, simply stared at her feet, her hands folded behind her back. The aura slowly gained in power and Kyp knew he had to do something or she'd start throwing Force lightning around. Or try. And that would be detrimental to everyone except him. He grabbed her by the shoulders only to receive a vicious Force shove, throwing his arms from her body. "Don't touch me," she hissed, stepping away, her eyes blazing with anger all of a sudden. "Nobody's allowed to touch me but Anakin!"  
  
"Tahiri." Kyp said sternly. Whatever Zekk had done to get past that initial reaction had obviously taken a long time. He's had to sit and have a serious discussion with the Jedi Knight. Anything Zekk had discovered in his time with this young woman would be useful. "This isn't going to help."  
  
"The pain goes away," she spat, "why shouldn't I be angry? Being angry means I don't have to hurt!" she reached forward, slamming her hands into his chest but Kyp was ready for it.   
  
He countered, absorbing the Force blow and turning it back on her, sending her sprawling to the deck. "Don't play that game with me, Veila," he told her evenly, "you'll lose."  
  
She was slow to push herself off the deck and Kyp could sense the sudden waves of agonizing despair that almost staggered him. She's far more dangerous that Luke thought, he found himself thinking. Powerful emotions like that can lead to worse mishaps. Vader-like mishaps.  
  
Tahiri pushed herself to her hands and knees but collapsed back to the deck, resting her forehead against the cool metal plates. Kyp caught the sudden sound of choked crying and walked over, kneeling down beside her. "Tahiri?" he asked, reaching out to touch her.   
  
She didn't move this time when his hand settled on her shoulder. "I miss him," her words were choked, whispered, and Kyp's heart went out to her. She was confused, in pain, more pain than he bet anyone else really understood, and lashing out the only way she knew how to keep it at bay. And she was losing herself in the process.  
  
"Sleep," he urged, using the Force to strengthen the command. In her chaotic emotional state, she almost resisted, but Kyp pushed it, leaning into the command more so than he would with anyone else, and she slumped to the deck. He shook his head, carefully collecting the young woman in his arms and getting to his feet. Darkside spiral. Right. More like a long walk off a short cliff if she kept going the way she was. Shaking his head, he carried her from the flight deck and towards the room she'd been assigned. Zekk was arriving as he did and opened the door for him. Kyp placed the younger woman on the single bed in the room and stepped back.  
  
Zekk placed Tahiri's bag of possessions by the foot of her bed, "What happened?"  
  
"I sent her into a Force induced sleep." Kyp replied evenly. "She started to flip out when I tried to touch her."  
  
"Oh, sorry, I should have mentioned that," Zekk sighed, shaking his head. "She's had it pretty rough, Master Durron-"  
  
"Call me Kyp. Master Durron is a mouthful."  
  
Zekk chuckled. "Alright then, Kyp, she's been bounced from place to place since Anakin died, never really having anyone to hold onto or anything. Anakin was her constant. I'm sure you know all this." He gave Kyp a ghost of a smile. "I've been hanging around with her alot in the last while, one of the reasons I was asked to bring her to you. I'm not Anakin, but I'm willing to stay for awhile if she asks me too."  
  
"I appreciate that, Zekk." Kyp clapped the other man on the shoulder. "I want to run a deep Force scan on her but Jaina should be included in any further   
discussions. Think you could go get her for me?"  
  
"Sure. Where're her quarters?"  
  
"She's in with the other officers. You can't miss it, it's the biggest door in the hall and says "Goddess" beside it."  
  
Zekk chuckled, "Sounds good. I'll be back in a few."  
  
Kyp watched the other man leave and felt a moment of apprehension. Would Jaina be in any shape to deal with Zekk? Would she even listen to him? He shook his head. From what he understood, Zekk was Jaina's best friend and he'd probably be more welcome than Kyp after a fight with Jag, if that's what had happened. Kyp shook his head. He was dying to know what had been said, to go to her, to see her, to hold her in his arms and tell her things would be alright, but there was a very sick young woman who needed his help and Jaina was strong. Stronger than he thought she knew. She'd come find him if things got really out of hand. He simply had to trust her.  
  
  
  
Zekk knocked on Jaina's door with a tap that was uniquely his. The force, the rhythm, wasn't used by anyone else, and Jaina would know it. Afterall, she'd been the one to comment on the unique style. The door opened a couple of moments later and the smile beginning to form on Zekk's lips died.   
  
Jaina's face was streaked with tears, her eyes swollen and red from crying, her lip bloodied where she'd bitten it. "Jaina?" he asked concerned.  
  
"Zekk." She sobbed once, throwing herself at him and wrapping her arms around his chest so tightly he grunted from the impact.   
  
He took a couple of steps into her room and closed the door, leaning back against it as she began to cry into his shoulder. What was wrong with her? he wondered silently. What had been said between her and Jag? But he didn't pester her with his questions, instead he simply held her as tightly as she held him, stroking her hair and murmuring softly that it would be ok, she wasn't alone now.  
  
After several long minutes her hold finally began to relax and her sobs ebbed off. She hiccupped and he grinned. Same Jaina. Gently tilting her face he found her cheeks flooded with embarrassed color. He clucked his tongue. "Why're you red?" he asked softly. "It's not the first time you've used me as a shoulder to cry on."  
  
"It's everything," she muttered, hiccupping again. She sighed, pulling away and taking a deep breath.   
  
Zekk chuckled softly, entering her 'fresher and retrieving a cloth and a glass of water. He handed them to her as she sat on the edge of her bed, "Here."  
  
"Thanks," she said softly, amazed he still remembered. She downed the glass quickly, killing her hiccups, and then wiped her face. The cool cloth helped bring back some of her sanity and she pulled it away after several moments. Zekk had seated himself on the edge of her desk, more like a lean, and she studied him. He hadn't changed much, gotten broader in the chest and tougher maybe, but the calm acceptance in his green eyes hadn't changed. She tossed the cloth back towards the 'fresher before placing her cup on her nightstand. "I wasn't expecting you." She told him, meeting his gaze, "What're you doing here?"  
  
He laughed. "That's some welcome, Goddess."  
  
She smiled ruefully. "Sorry. It's good to see you, Zekk."  
  
"I'd say the same, but something's obviously eating at you. Kyp sent me."  
  
Her head came up. "Kyp?" she asked confused. Why would Kyp send Zekk to her?  
  
Zekk nodded. "I was in charge of bringing Tahiri to you two..." he trailed off as she paled, her head sinking down in her hands. "Jaina?"  
  
"I can't." she muttered thickly. "I can't deal with her today, not now. Tomorrow maybe, but..."  
  
Zekk crossed the room, crouching in front of her, "Jaya? What's wrong?"  
  
She lifted her head. "Everything."  
  
"You need a friend? I'm here if you do."  
  
She smiled faintly. "I know. I just... It's personal and you've got a-"  
  
"Vested interest?" he asked sardonically. "Strange as it sounds I've been seeing someone when I get the chance to get back to Mon Calamari. Someday I hope you'll meet her, but that's neither here nor there. What's wrong? Is it Jag?"  
  
She nodded, breathing a silent sigh of relief. "Yeah, it's Jag, the engagement, everything."  
  
"Engagement?" Zekk's eyebrows rose, "You and him? No offense, Jay, but I didn't picture you as the type to settle down with someone as structured as him."  
  
She laughed, finding a smile. "I know, me either. You're right, of course, I broke off the engagement today."  
  
"Then what's the problem?"  
  
Jaina flopped back on her bed, throwing her arm over her eyes. "I feel terrible for doing it but at the same time a part of me is rejoicing and it makes me feel worse."  
  
Zekk chuckled, sitting on the edge of her bed and pulling her arm from her eyes. "You feel bad because you feel good?"  
  
"I broke his heart, Zekk."  
  
"I know the feeling," he told her with a smile that said he didn't have any hard feelings. "But you have to do what's best for you. Jag obviously wasn't it. Did you come to this decision all by yourself?"  
  
"No." she sighed, pushing herself up on her elbows. "See, that's the thing, there was no passion with Jag, but then he left for maneuvers and Kyp showed me-"  
  
"Kyp?" Zekk broke in, beginning to laugh. "As in Kyp Durron?"  
  
She nodded, "Don't laugh, it's true!"  
  
"I thought you hated his guts."  
  
"I did."  
  
Zekk arched an eyebrow, a teasing grin playing about his lips. "So you're telling me that you just got rid of the guy you chose to date instead of me and now you're dropping him in favor of a Jedi Master who's always teasing you?"  
  
She nodded, "Uh, yeah, I guess you could put it that way."  
  
Zekk laughed. "You're a glutton for punishment, Jaya."  
  
She swatted him on the arm. "I thought you were supposed to be making me feel better."  
  
"It's working isn't it?" he winked, drawing a smile in return. "Look, Jag obviously wasn't what you needed, and neither was I. Kyp, much as I'm having a problem wrapping that around in my brain, might be able to give you what you need. You'll never know until you try, right?"  
  
"Right." She said uncertainly.  
  
Zekk shook his head, pulling her up as he got to his feet. "Jaya, you've got to do what you feel is right. If breaking your engagement was right for you, then it's the right course of action. Trust me. I wouldn't want you to marry anyone you weren't in love with and neither would anyone in your family. Neither would you. You'd die in a love-less relationship."  
  
She smiled slowly, getting to her feet and wrapping her arms around him again. "Thank you," she said softly. "I just needed someone else to remind me."  
  
Zekk hugged her back, kissing the crown of her head. "I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry about that, but Kyp asked me to bring you back so that he can discuss what to do about Tahiri. From the sound of it I might be around for awhile."  
  
"But, what about your girl back on Mon Calamari?"  
  
Zekk smiled. "She's off on maneuvers right now. Relax, Stix," he teased, tucking her under his arm and hitting the door panel. "Things will work out in the end, you'll see."  
  
Jaina laughed softly and began to relax in the company of her oldest friend. Zekk's presence was comforting, like an old blanket, and she would never be able to repay him for his words today. And she knew he'd never expect her to. 


	10. Chapter 10

Strong Enough  
Chapter 10  
  
  
Kyp looked up as Zekk and Jaina entered Tahiri's room, his gaze immediately going to Jaina's face. Her eyes were slightly swollen, as if she'd been crying, though her face was clear of all evidence otherwise. She was smiling at something Zekk had said. She met his gaze and stepped quickly towards him, enveloping him in a hug as she rested her head against his chest. Kyp blinked, looking down at her in surprise. Had she told Zekk?  
  
Zekk sat on the edge of Tahiri's bed, gently brushing the blond curls off her face, his back to the couple and Jaina took advantage of it. She tilted her head, her eyes pleading with Kyp silently. He cupped her face gently before placing a tender kiss on her lips. She sighed softly, returning the kiss before pulling away. In that instant, Kyp understood that she'd told Zekk and that Zekk had been alright with it. He breathed a silent sigh of relief; they wouldn't have to hide their relationship from her friend.  
  
Zekk half-turned towards them, "What'd you find, Kyp?"  
  
Kyp glanced down at Jaina before shaking his head slightly. "Not much," he admitted. "Tahiri's mind is a cloud of grief overshadowed with despair. She doesn't expect to come out of this and neither does she want to. There is one bright spot and that's you, Zekk. She's come to think of you as a... protector of sorts. Like an older brother that will chase away the shadows of her nightmares."  
  
Zekk nodded, "I was afraid of that. She's used to relying on herself, or at least she was, until Anakin. And then she was left alone. Completely alone because nobody else really had time for her." He sighed, looking down at Tahiri's slumbering face. "I made the time when I saw what she was going through, I know how it feels to lose people as she did. And so do both of you," he looked up at Kyp and Jaina, "I think that's why Master Skywalker wanted you two to help her."  
  
"But why not you?" Jaina asked. "I mean she's obviously attached to you."  
  
"And what happens if I die tomorrow Jaya?" Zekk asked seriously. "Will she drop deeper into that grief pit? No, by allowing her to become attached to me, I haven't done her any favors." He shook his head. "You're Anakin's sister and Kyp has more experience with darkside powers than any Jedi, including Master Skywalker. It has to be you two; she isn't likely to become attached to either of you."  
  
Jaina rubbed her forehead. "Then why are you staying?"  
  
Zekk looked from Kyp to Jaina and back before turning to look down at Tahiri again. "She asked me to. I'll stay for a few days until she gets settled and then I have to get back. It would seem I spend more of my time playing at being a glorified shuttle pilot for the Jedi council these days than anything." He smiled faintly. "Not that I mind, but I do like to get my hands dirty every now and again."  
  
Jaina chuckled, "You look tired, why don't you get some sleep. Kyp and I will watch over her."  
  
Zekk bent down to gently kiss Tahiri on the forehead before standing. "I think I will. Good night." He headed for the door, pausing before opening it. "And Kyp."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Zekk met his gaze. "Take care of her."  
  
Kyp nodded as Zekk left.  
  
"Of course you'd take care of her," Jaina said, shaking her head. "So will I, but, I mean-"  
  
"Jay."  
  
"What?"  
  
Kyp turned her in his arms. "He was talking about you."  
  
She blinked. "He was?"  
  
Kyp chuckled, nodding. "Yeah, he was. Tahiri will sleep until morning and then we'll have our work cut out for us. She was pretty confused on the flight deck. More grief-stricken than angry, but if she ever learns to focus it she could be pretty strong."  
  
Jaina looked over at the angelic face of the sleeping blonde imp and sighed. "She doesn't deserve to be going through so much at such a young age," she said softly. "I wish I could just take away all the pain she's feeling and let her start over."  
  
"And let her learn nothing?" Kyp asked her softly. "You would have her forget about the one person in the entire galaxy that loved her enough to chance the wrath of your Uncle? That gave his life for -her- and no one else? That's right Jay, your brother died protecting Tahiri, not the mission. She knows it and it's tearing her apart."  
  
Jaina bowed her head, resting it against his chest and didn't protest when he pulled her closer. "He shouldn't have died," Jaina whispered softly. "Anakin should never have died."  
  
Kyp agreed with her silently. Anakin Solo shouldn't have been the one to die on that mission. He stroked her hair, holding her close, as they thought of the young Jedi. Kyp slowly turned his mind away from it. Tahiri wouldn't be helped if they coddled her; she would have to work through her grief, accept it and learn to move on as everyone else did. Only her healing process would be, and had been, much longer than any Kyp had ever seen.   
  
Jaina slowly pulled back. "I suppose you're going to tell me I shouldn't worry about things I can't change?"  
  
Kyp chuckled. "Actually I wasn't going to say anything. Tahiri's going to need our help; more so than anyone I've ever known. She's hurting something terrible, Jay."  
  
Jaina nodded, "I know."  
  
"Speaking of hurt, how did it go with Jag?"  
  
She made a face. "Not so good." She admitted. "I think I really hurt him more than I had to, Kyp. He didn't deserve to have this thrown at him the way I did it."  
  
"Did you tell him about us?"  
  
She nodded. "He wouldn't stop pushing, he just... he somehow knew it had to be another man and he just..." she shook her head helplessly. "I got angry and we got into a shouting match. Jag and me, imagine! Jag actually got me to shout at him."  
  
"Felt good, huh?"  
  
She nodded, her face flushing guiltily. "Actually yes, but I feel terrible for it. I just... I shouldn't feel so good for making him feel so bad. It's wrong. Shouting at you is one thing, you're willing to shout back, but shouting at Jag was like kicking someone when they're down; they're defenseless."  
  
"I sense there's something more to this, Jay. What is it you're not telling me?"  
  
She ducked her head. "I wanted to deck him."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He tried to kiss me."  
  
"Tried or succeeded?"  
  
She met his gaze, "He was desperate, Kyp. He did, but only for a moment, I turned my head away. I hurt him, badly, and I don't blame him for trying to convince me to stay with him."  
  
Kyp cupped her face in his hands. "You're stronger than I; I would have let him have it."  
  
She sighed, letting out a shocked exclamation when he scooped her off her feet and onto his lap as he sat in the only chair in the room. They had a clear view of the sleeping Jedi, yet neither of them looked in her direction. Jaina curled close to him, her legs hanging over the arm of the chair. "Just hold me," she told him softly. "I know I did the right thing in cutting Jag loose but I feel so lost too."  
  
Kyp cradled her in his arms, resting his cheek on the top of her head. "I'm here," he told her gently, "Hang onto me."  
  
She clung to him, wrapping herself and her senses around him, and using him as the anchor in the maelstrom vortex of her emotions. And he held her, letting her deal with her emotions internally, yet being the shelter she sought when she felt she couldn't go on anymore. Together, they eased their way through her feelings until Jaina couldn't keep her eyes open. She dropped off to sleep curled against him, and Kyp simply settled himself more comfortably and closed his eyes. But he didn't sleep, he thought. Thought of the turns his life had taken, of the ones he now wanted them to take and of the ones they would take. And, as he shut down the lights, he smiled. 


	11. Chapter 11

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Jaina woke the next morning to a cramp in her thighs. They were numb from the knees down, her toes tingling from a lack of circulation. She opened her eyes, lifting her head, disoriented from her strange position. Something hard was under her knees, yet someone held her. Her backside was starting to go numb and there was a strong heart beat beneath her ear. Kyp. His hands tightened on her waist and shoulders as she looked up into his face.  
  
"Good morning," he said softly.  
  
She smiled. "'Morning." She examined his face, "Did you sleep at all?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"Kyp..." she said warningly. "What if we have to scramble?"  
  
"I'll manage," he told her mildly. "It won't be the first time I've pulled a long shift."  
  
"And it won't be the last," she sighed. "I know, I know." She slowly shifted in his lap, putting her feet on the ground and gasping as the blood began to rush back into her legs.  
  
"Easy there Goddess," he chuckled, keeping a firm grip on her so she didn't slide to the floor. "Let your legs remember how to walk first."  
  
She lay back against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Remind me never to sleep like that again."  
  
He folded his hands high on her stomach, standing slowly. She hissed at the shift and he squeezed her apologetically. "Sorry, I want to check on Tahiri before she wakes up."  
  
Jaina grimaced as she let go of his arms, taking a couple of jerky steps. Kyp caught her quickly, dragging her back into his arms. She looked up at him questioningly and he kissed her lingeringly. Her arms tightened around him again as she opened her mouth to his. Kyp obliged her, deepening the kiss for a long moment before pulling away, "Now," he told her softly before letting her go, "it's a good morning."  
  
She smiled, dragging him back, "Oh no, more than that," she insisted, "as of today I'm a free woman."  
  
He laughed, bending his head and kissing her thoroughly, feeling her open completely to his kiss, arching into his touch, her mouth moving sweetly under his, burning him completely, willingly, and his fingers slid into her hair, angling her head under his. She moaned softly, seeming to curl towards him, her body flush against his for longer moments before he slowly lifted his head. She stayed where she was, her forehead leaning gently against his as she locked her knees to keep from sliding to the floor. Kyp gently stroked her face with the backs of his fingers before pulling away completely and walking over to the bed where Tahiri still lay sleeping.  
  
The young woman slept soundly, undisturbed as she had for the night, but as they watched her forehead crinkled and she moaned. She shifted in her sleep, rolling over and reaching out as if searching for something or someone. "Anakin..."  
  
Jaina froze, hearing the almost desperate edge to the girl's plea. Without thinking, she backed away, unable to deal with Tahiri's loss, with her own. Her gaze went to Kyp as he approached the blonde and she swallowed hard. Would that be her fate one day, Jaina wondered silently, if anything happened to Kyp? She couldn't be sure, but she had a feeling if that wasn't it, it would be extremely close.  
  
"Anakin! [i]NO[/i]!" Tahiri woke before Kyp got to her, sitting straight up in her bed, her hands reaching, searching for something that was beyond her grasp forever. She seemed to fold in on herself for a half-second, as her hands came up empty, before she screamed. A vortex of wind sprang up through the room, dragging everything that wasn't nailed down towards her in a sudden surge.  
  
Kyp intervened quickly. "Tahiri!" is eyes flashed and he dampened her powers, killing the tantrum, the vortex, before it really started.  
  
Tahiri's head came up and she glared at him, but underneath it was a solid wall of pain and despair. Both Jedi could sense that Tahiri was holding on by barely a thread. And that thread was fraying quickly.  
  
The door opened and Zekk stepped inside. He was half-dressed, obviously just woken up, but his gaze was only for the small blonde. "Tahiri!"  
  
She looked up at him, her demeanor shifting instantly from hostile to desperate as she held her arms out to him, tears glittering in her eyes. Zekk didn't spare Jaina or Kyp a glance, just stepped straight to her and enfolded her in a tight hug. "I'm here," he told her softly, stroking her hair with a gentle hand.  
  
She buried her face in his shoulder, beginning to shake as he held her tightly. Her broken hearted sobs reverberating through the room, barely muffled by Zekk's bare shoulder. Zekk held her tightly, his gaze finally going to Kyp and Jaina.  
  
Jaina looked ready to bolt, her courage obviously faltering as she watched Tahiri's break down. Kyp placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as she stepped to his side, meeting Zekk's gaze. Kyp waited in silence as Tahiri slowly stopped shaking, tucking Jaina into the curve of his body and lending her his support as she watched with difficulty. Zekk slowly pulled away from Tahiri and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Life will get easier," he told her softly, fervently believing it though she'd only seemed to get worse in the time since Anakin had died.  
  
"You promise?" she asked brokenly.  
  
Zekk nodded. "I promise."  
  
Tahiri closed her eyes, sagging against him, "It's so hard," she told him, her voice but a whisper, "I don't want to feel. Don't make me feel again." She pleaded softly.  
  
Zekk sighed. "You're human, Tahiri, to feel is to know you're alive."  
  
"I don't want to live."  
  
Jaina's heart went out to her. She knew how that felt. "Tahiri..."  
  
Tahiri's head came up and she seemed to suddenly realize that she and Zekk weren't alone. Her eyes narrowed. "Get out!" she screamed, her eyes flashing dangerously, "Leave me alone! I don't want anything to do with you or... or..." her hands came up and Zekk quickly grabbed them.   
  
"Tahiri, stop this! They're here to help!"  
  
"Help?" she demanded scathingly, pushing away from him and backing across the mattress until her back was flush against the wall. "Help?" she laughed, a note of hysteria ringing in her words, "Nobody can help. Not you, not them, and especially not [i]her[/i]!"  
  
Jaina, who hadn't wanted the job in the first place, stepped away from Kyp and glared at the younger woman. "News flash, I don't exactly want to help you, you spoiled little brat," she bit out. "You're ungrateful and spiteful-"  
  
Kyp slapped a hand over her mouth, cutting off her tirade. "We're trying to help her," he said mildly, though his words held a note of caution, telling her to shut up, "not encourage her darkside tendencies."  
  
"Encourage me," Tahiri spat, "Nobody could encourage me to take a journey where I didn't want to go!"  
  
Zekk's voice sliced in before Kyp could respond. "Not even me or Anakin, Tahiri?"  
  
She lunged at him, knocking him off the bed and to the floor, screaming. Zekk seemed to have done this before and rolled, pinning her to the deck plates while dark energy sizzled around them, his hair standing on end. She seemed to transform under their gaze, growing smaller, less menacing as tears streaked her cheeks again. "No-nobody can t-talk about Ana...Anak..." she trailed off, closing her eyes and turning her face away.  
  
Kyp carefully let Jaina go and to his surprise Jaina knelt next to Tahiri and Zekk as Zekk pushed himself to the balls of his feet but remained crouched beside them. Jaina stretched out her hand to place a comforting hand on Tahiri's shoulder, drawing the younger woman's gaze. "You can't hide in a void of pain forever, Tahiri," she said softly, "someday you'll have to face how much you're hurting."  
  
"Like you did?" Tahiri came back quickly, "After Jacen was taken away? After Ana-Anakin d-died?"  
  
Jaina's gaze was filled with remembered pain and the sting of last night's confrontations. So much pain in her life; so much effort to continue. She had a good idea of what Tahiri was going through. "I was wrong, Tahiri. Letting my grief, my anger, consume me was wrong. Thankfully," she glanced up at Kyp, "someone cared enough to not only help me through it and understand, but to pull me back from the edge."  
  
Zekk rose to his feet and left the room quietly as Jaina spoke to Tahiri, neither woman noticing his absence, but Kyp watched as the younger man left. He could read the pride in Zekk's body language, the pain. Zekk had cared enough about Jaina to do the same thing Kyp had; he'd just not had the conviction or experience to deal with her. Kyp shook his head. If Zekk had been the one to help Jaina, would he be the one she'd be turning to now?  
  
Kyp let go of his disturbing thoughts and knelt next to Jaina, offering his hand to Tahiri, "We want to help you, Tahiri, but we can't if you don't let us."  
  
"I don't want your help," she shot back quickly, carefully pushing herself into a sitting position. "I don't want your sympathy, I just want Anakin back!"  
  
The desolation in her tone broke Jaina's heart and she bowed her head as Tahiri curled into a ball, wrapping her arms around her legs and ducking her face into her knees. Kyp watched them both, wondering if this was how he was going to be spending his days for the next little while. Watching his apprentice, and his former apprentice, butt heads and share sob stories. He hoped not. Though, he had to admit watching them duel would certainly prove interesting if it ever came down to it. "Tahiri," he said softly, "Anakin won't be coming back. He's gone and he wouldn't want-"   
  
"How do you know?" she asked, her head snapping up, rage blazing in her eyes, "How would anyone know what he would and wouldn't want? Anakin was my best friend and I love him... I loved him..." she trailed off, her face crumbling.  
  
Her quick shifting emotions, going from blinding agony and suffering to anger in a snap of his fingers was starting to get unnerving. Yet Kyp knew he'd deal with it. Tahiri needed their help and, whether she wanted it or not, she was going to get it.  
  
Tahiri was a difficult person to reach without Zekk. Jaina found that she could barely stand the younger woman anymore, she'd changed so much - and not for the better. She was angry all the time, throwing tantrums that involved whipping things around with the Force and throwing lightning when things got really bad. She refused to even speak with Jaina, simply glared at her, or shouted accusations that Jaina hadn't a foot to stand on because of her own actions when they'd thought Jacen and Anakin dead.  
  
Jaina secretly agreed that she was the last person who should be trying to help Tahiri and simply left her alone with Kyp, slipping out into the hallway as Kyp forcefully took matters into his own hands. The door slid shut and Jaina slid to the ground, resting her chin on her knees as she blinked back frustrated tears. She didn't need this right now.  
  
"Tough time?"  
  
She looked up as Zekk slid to the ground next to her, their shoulder brushing as he settled comfortably, his back to the wall. She smiled faintly. "You don't know the half of it."  
  
Zekk was examining his hands, "Actually I do," he admitted softly. "Tahiri's always been an acquaintance but I've really gotten to know her over the last little while, Jay. She's special, but she's in a lot of pain. She reminded me of you."  
  
Jaina sighed. "I'm sorry I pushed you away," she admitted. "You only wanted to help, but I couldn't take it. I saw your face when we were on our way to Hapes. You wanted something I couldn't give you."  
  
"I understand," he told her easily. "My feelings have been one-sided since this whole war started. Your relationship with Jag forced me to admit that and try to move on." He smiled faintly. "I felt like I failed you when I just let you go without trying to check your fall. I felt like I failed myself too. I was too caught up with what I was feeling to even try to help you." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Jaya, I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me most."  
  
She reached over and squeezed his hand. "I wouldn't have accepted your help," she admitted with difficulty. "You're the best friend a girl could have, Zekk, but there wasn't anything you could have done."  
  
He looped a companionable arm around her shoulders and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Thanks," he whispered softly.  
  
They were quiet for long minutes, Tahiri's screams of anger clearly audible through the door to her room. She felt Zekk tense. "Is there really a girl back on Calamari waiting for you?"  
  
He jerked slightly, "Yeah, amazingly enough there is."  
  
"What's her name?"   
  
"Cyan," he told her, his smile clearly audible in his voice.   
  
"Have you known her long?"  
  
"A couple of years. I met her on Hapes before leaving you there. She was on the ship that helped me out of the system."  
  
Jaina was quiet for a few moments. "What's she like?"  
  
Zekk's voice was hushed, the muted sounds of the ship almost drowning him out. "Not unlike you," he admitted, "Only she's a Twi'lek."  
  
Her head came up and she grinned. "Was she a dancer?" she teased.  
  
Zekk chuckled. "Not for me to tell," he winked at her. "Let's just say she's built like one."  
  
Jaina snorted, "Most female Twi'lek's are," she pointed out, jabbing him in the chest with her finger. "Is she Force Sensitive?"  
  
He nodded. "Not as much as you or I but she's pretty awesome with her lightsaber."  
  
Jaina cocked her head at him. "You sound positively smitten. Do I detect a proposal coming up for a certain Jedi?"  
  
Zekk squeezed her shoulders. "Not in the near future, but if you happen to see me shopping for a ring or something in a vision, don't discount the possibility."  
  
She hugged him. "If I didn't have Kyp, I might be jealous." She told him smiling. "I'm glad you found someone, Zekk."  
  
Zekk kissed her cheek. "Yeah, well, I couldn't wait you forever, however much I like the idea."  
  
She smiled. "So how long are you staying?"  
  
He looked at the door. "I should take my chance and go while Kyp is in there. I don't like leaving her alone, though."  
  
"She won't be alone." Jaina assured him, "Either Kyp or I will be with her most of the time. She may not like me too much, but I won't let her side beyond all hope. I've been there, same as you," she shivered. "The climb out is treacherous and dangerous, I won't lose the one person who meant more to Anakin than his own life. He wouldn't want her to suffer like this."  
  
"I agree," Zekk told her softly. He pushed himself to his feet. "I'm going to say my goodbyes while it's quiet in there. Take care of yourself, Jaina. I'll be here if you ever have need of me."  
  
She reached out, capturing his hand. "Likewise. Thank you."  
  
He flashed her a smile before disappearing into Tahiri's room. Jaina pushed herself to her feet, but couldn't find the courage to enter the room just yet. Imagine, the Goddess afraid of her dead brother's girlfriend. It was almost laughable. Almost - if it hadn't hurt so much.   
  
The door opened and a hand grabbed her, dragging her inside. Jaina was about to protest but the surge of electricity that shot through her system told her Kyp had been the one t bring her in. She couldn't very well resist since she was supposed to be helping him with Tahiri, her personal feelings aside.  
  
"I have to speak with Zekk," Kyp's voice was low as he left Tahiri and Zekk a moment to themselves. The blonde was crying, begging Zekk not to go. "Can you stay here and keep Tahiri from following?"  
  
Jaina swallowed hard, nodding once. "Yeah, I think I can. Just don't be gone too long, alright?"  
  
He smiled at her and she reached up to brush his bangs back off his forehead. Kyp caught her fingers and brushed a light kiss over her fingertips. "Be good. Remember, you know where she's been and anything she throws at you, you can negate. She's pretty exhausted through."  
  
Jaina nodded and watched as Zekk extracted himself from the blonde. He was leaving because it was best for Tahiri to get through this on her own - but he wouldn't be too far away. Zekk was their wild card. If Tahiri got too difficult to handle, or unresponsive, he would be called back. Only Tahiri didn't know that. Jaina frowned. How had she known it? She watched as Tahiri curled herself onto her bed, Zekk and Kyp stepping from the room, and settled herself into the chair. Tahiri's sobs were soft, heart wrenching with their depth and Jaina's heart went out to her. Here was a young woman who'd lost everything and now she was losing her only friend. Jaina's gaze went to the door and she silently urged Kyp to hurry. Tahiri needed to have something to keep her occupied and Jaina, who'd never had an apprentice before, didn't have a clue where to start. 


	12. Chapter 12

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Zekk walked next to Kyp in silence, his bag slung over one shoulder. Tahiri had been reluctant to let him go, so much that she'd clung to him and had to be forcefully removed. It didn't help he felt like the lowest form of creature for bailing on her this quickly but he knew that the longer he stayed the harder it would be for him to leave. Tahiri had to learn to stand on her own two feet.  
  
"This was an abrupt decision," Kyp said at last as they were nearing the docking bay, "what made you decide to leave?"  
  
Zekk adjusted the grip on his bag, "It's time. I'm only causing more problems rather than helping solve them. Jaina has you and Tahiri needs to learn to stand on her own, without me as an emotional crutch. I have other responsibilities, to the council and to myself, that need to be discharged."  
  
"Sounds an awful lot like you're trying to convince yourself, Zekk." Kyp commented, "Surely you don't believe that."  
  
"Are you telling me I'm welcome to stay?"  
  
Kyp shrugged. "Jaina would be disappointed if you left so soon."  
  
"She has you, what's she need me for?"  
  
Kyp chuckled. "You sound like a child who's been denied his favorite treat - or had it stolen from him."  
  
Zekk slanted him a look. "Jaina is the best friend I've ever had, Kyp, my emotional entanglements notwithstanding. I don't see how my continued presence will help either of them. Jaina has enough to deal with without me hanging around."  
  
"I won't deny that she's hard pressed at the moment, Zekk, but having you here has given her someone to talk to when I'm not around. I had to deal with Tahiri; I couldn't comfort her and Jaina at the same time. Whatever you said to Jay made her smile; it gave her the chance to get her equilibrium back. She may not have wanted to deal with Tahiri, but you gave her the courage to stand her ground."  
  
"That's why I can't stay," Zekk admitted. "My feelings for her will never change Kyp and I can admit that it make me uncomfortable watching the two of you. Jaina has you to watch out for her. Tahiri now has the both of you. I think it's time to make myself scarce and find my own path. I've been helping others for so long I'm starting to lose myself in the bargain. Staying will only make things worse all around. I know it, you know it, just let it lie."  
  
Kyp and Zekk stepped into the hangar bay together and Kyp froze. Something was wrong. Zekk stopped next to him, frowning. "Something's not... Look out!"  
  
They ducked as a large beam slammed into the bulkheads above them and rolled to their feet.  
  
Kyp's lightsaber was in his hand, his gaze scanning the deck immediately as the shouts of two female techs caught his notice.   
  
"Oh man, are you two alright?"  
  
"I'm sorry, so sorry... I... Master Durron? Kriff! Look what you did Jeka, you almost took the Jedi Master's head off!"  
  
Kyp's good humor suddenly returned. "Jeka, Keti, was that beam yours?"  
  
The two techs, obviously identical twins, nodded at once, their blonde ponytails bobbing in synch.   
  
"Yes sir," Jeka responded, her hands twisting nervously in front of her.   
  
"The cable broke before we could weld it into the superstructure. We're reinforcing the upper hull just as the General instructed." Keti finished.  
  
Jeka smiled sheepishly. "It's my fault. I'm sorry Master Durron."  
  
Kyp shrugged. "No harm done. Jeka, Keti, this is Zekk, he's a friend of Jaina's."  
  
The blondes quickly shook Zekk's hands and his gaze lingered on each, seeming unable to come to terms with their identicalness. "Nice to meet you. Are you the two ladies who've been checking out my [i]Lightning Rod[/i]?"  
  
They exchanged glances before looking back at the freighter and nodding. "Yup," Jeka told him smiling. "She may not look like much but the modifications you've given her are certainly impressive."  
  
Kyp chuckled. "Zekk, it's been good having you here. Come back when you're back our way."  
  
Zekk nodded, shaking Kyp's hand before wandering off with the tech's discussing his most prized possession.  
  
Kyp shook his head, smiling. Zekk probably wouldn't be going anywhere tonight - he'd help the two young ladies, both his junior by a year, climb over his ship with a fine-toothed comb. Kyp shook his head, stepping back into the hallway and closing the door behind him.   
  
"Kyp."  
  
His head came up sharply. He knew that voice all too well. "Fel." He started walking, Jag staying planted in the center of the deserted corridor as Kyp came closer. Kyp stopped just within arm's reach. "Can I do something for you, Colonel?"  
  
Jag didn't say anything at first, simply stared at Kyp, his face expressionless. Kyp's danger sense flared as Jag's hand came up, clenched in a fist, and struck him across the face. Kyp turned with the blow, minimizing the damage before turning his head back to look at Jag. He tasted blood and knew his teeth had cut into his lip. If he hadn't gone with the blow, it probably would have broken some teeth. Jag might be a pain in the posterior but he had one hell of a left. Kyp didn't smile. "That's the only free shot you're going to get Fel," he said softly.  
  
Jag glared at him, that careful mask dissolving as if it'd never been. "What'd you do to her?" he demanded.   
  
"Nothing." Kyp told him honestly. "She came to me."  
  
"You expect me to believe that?" Jag demanded, his hands clenched into fists at his sides again.   
  
Kyp didn't need the Force to know that Jag wanted to swing at him again, but this was neither the time nor the place for this confrontation. "It's the truth. Whether you believe it or not, doesn't change the facts."  
  
Kyp blocked as Jag swung at him again, tuning the fist aside. The first one he deserved, he'd expected it and done nothing to avoid it but he wasn't going to allow some lovesick fool pound him to a pulp because of something he couldn't understand. And Jag obviously didn't understand why Jaina had chosen Kyp.   
  
"You had to have done something," Jag spat. "She was happy with me, she was my fiancée!"  
  
"Was," Kyp pointed out. "That implies she wasn't as happy as you thought." Jag swung again and Kyp blocked. "This isn't the time or the place for this!" Kyp told Jag fiercely, "If you want my blood so bad challenge me to one of your blasted Chiss rituals of honor or something. Don't turn this into something we'll both be reprimanded for in a public hallway!"  
  
Jag seemed to remember his station all of a sudden and straightened. "If nothing else, you're right about that." He said stiffly. His hurt was still there but carefully controlled. "The gym, 2200, you and me and keep your Jedi powers out of it!" he spun on his heel, walking away, his step jerky with suppressed rage.  
  
Kyp exhaled slowly and lifted one hand to gently touch his jaw. It was throbbing, swelling slightly, and he knew if Jaina saw it she'd be concerned. As much about the injury as the fight he and Jag were going to have. But he couldn't keep something like that from her; it wouldn't be fair.  
  
Shaking his head, he used the Force to kill the swelling and some of the ache but not all. He wouldn't need reminders to keep his new appointment tonight, but he'd need one to remind himself what mistakes could cost him. Jag had had every right to slug him. Every right and more, Kyp admitted grudgingly. He might not like the young pilot, but he'd respected him. Respected him enough not to crush him when Jag had knocked him across the face. Enough that he'd keep the appointment tonight. Enough that he'd keep this contest between him and Jag, man to man, and leave the Force out of it. It was only fair.  
  
Jaina stared at the sobbing Tahiri as the door closed behind Zekk and Kyp and was at a loss. How could she offer comfort to someone she barely tolerated? Did she even want to? She fought down the automatic response, the one that was screaming at her to get away before Tahiri's grief dragged her back into the pit she'd had to climb from not long ago. "Zekk will be back," she said at last. "He's not one to stay away for long."  
  
Tahiri lifted her head. "You don't understand," she spat, her face streaked with tears, her eyes flashing fire. "Nobody understands."  
  
"I know what it is to lose someone." Jaina insisted.  
  
"Lose someone?" Tahiri's words were spiteful, her short laugh humorless. "How about losing your soulmate, Jaina? Have you ever lost that?"  
  
The silence was thick in the room as Jaina felt the words keenly. She'd lost half her being when she'd thought Jacen dead, didn't that come close enough?   
  
"No response?" Tahiri asked scornfully, pushing herself up and glaring at the other woman, "Not one of the famous Solo lectures? The clichés? The 'everything will be alright' speech? No words of wisdom for the girl who felt your brother die and knew she'd lost the most important thing, person, in her life?" Her lower lip trembled but the fire continued to flash in her eyes.   
  
Jaina felt the tug of something on her mind and knew Tahiri was lashing out yet again, this time trying to break into Jaina's mind for ammunition, for something to add to her tirades. Jaina kept her out, focusing on the good of what had happened. She'd lost both brothers on that expedition. One to death, the other to Vergere's teachings. Jacen had come back, yes, but he was so changed she barely recognized him.   
  
"Is that what this is about?" Jaina demanded. "Grief? Or is this about you wanting to die? About giving up when you know Anakin would want you to go on fighting? Yes, I said that's what Anakin would want because it's true! And you know it, Tahiri. You can't tell me it's not what he wanted because he gave himself up, he let go, so that we, you and I, could go on. Is this the legacy he left you with? Is this-"  
  
Tahiri screamed, seeming to lose control completely as she lunged at Jaina, taking them both to the deck. "I'll kill you!" Tahiri screamed, tears streaking her cheeks. "He loved me, he promised he wouldn't go and he did! You know nothing! [i]Nothing[/i]!"  
  
Jaina rolled with the tackle, unable to get the upper hand as Tahiri clawed at her face, pulling her hair and kicking at her body. The blonde was a whirlwind of destructive force, the waves of emotion radiating from her in an almost tangible manner. Jaina fought back the urge to take the younger woman down a notch or two - she didn't need that, she needed help. Tahiri needed to talk it out, to accept it and start to heal. If Jaina lashed back she wouldn't be helping Tahiri. Some Master she'd be.   
  
Focusing on the Force, Jaina levered Tahiri off her and rolled to her feet. Tahiri scrambled to hers, her bare feet giving her excellent purchase on the floor. "Is that the best you've got?" Tahiri demanded, energy suddenly crackling about her hands and body, as she seemed to expand with the power.  
  
Jaina narrowed her eyes, focusing carefully as Tahiri let the white-blue bolts loose, and absorbed them into her own body, killing the energy. Tahiri screamed, thwarted, and the wind whipped through the room again. "Tahiri!" Jaina spoke sharply, the full weight of the Force in her voice, killing the vortex with the one word and sending the younger woman to the ground.   
  
Tahiri pushed herself up slowly before seeming to give up. She simply lay on the floor, not moving, not crying; not doing anything. Jaina sank to the floor across the room, watching her warily. Was this some trick or was it another of the lightning quick mood swings that seemed to take the tiny young woman by surprise? Jaina didn't know, wasn't sure if she dared to find out, before she silently scolded herself. Tahiri needed her help, she couldn't put herself and her own problems first if she wanted to help Tahiri start to heal, to give up the darkside tendencies she'd acquired. Crawling on hands and knees, she crossed the room to Tahiri's side and gently turned the other woman over.  
  
Tahiri was awake, her eyes devoid of emotion as she stared at Jaina. "Does it ever stop hurting?" she asked brokenly, her voice barely audible.  
  
Jaina pulled the other woman into her arms and hugged her tightly, feeling her loss acutely. The pain of losing Anakin, or feeling Jacen die, came back in a rush as Tahiri hugged her back, shaking but not crying, her voice hoarse yet soft. "Why does the anger make it stop?"  
  
Jaina swallowed hard. "Because you don't have to deal with it," she answered honestly. "By becoming angry you burry it, you lock it away so that no one knows how much you hurt."  
  
"Is that what you did?"  
  
Jaina nodded. "In a way. I buried myself in my work. I let it take me so that I wouldn't have to deal with the loss. So that I wouldn't have to feel."  
  
Tahiri continued to shake, as if fighting to keep still and suppress the anger, the hurt she was feeling, but Jaina somehow knew she was fighting a losing battle. A battle that would soon tear this Tahiri, the one who wanted help and was searching for it, from reality and into despair again. "It's not the way to deal with anything, Tahiri," Jaina insisted firmly. "Fight it. Fight the anger, let the real emotions come through."  
  
"That's easy for you to say," Tahiri told her brokenly, and Jaina could feel the anger returning to her. "You have everything. You have Kyp and Zekk, you have Jacen. You had the choice to leave Jag. I never got that choice!" she pulled out of Jaina's arms and pushed to her feet, glaring.  
  
Jaina rose to her feet deliberately. "This isn't going to solve anything. I left Jag because it was time. I don't love him, not the way I should, and how'd you find out about that anyway?"  
  
Tahiri turned her face away, sinking to the bed. "I want to be alone," she said petulantly.  
  
"Brooding isn't going to solve anything."  
  
"And you would know?" came the quick barb. "The almighty Jaina who conquered the darkside because she had to, because she couldn't see the line that was right and wrong anymore? The Jaina that turned her back on her brothers when they needed her most?"  
  
Jaina flinched. "I was given an order," she said softly. "I followed it like they wanted me to. The guilt is going to eat you alive, Tahiri, and you're letting it."  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
"That's obvious."  
  
They both whirled at the sound of Kyp's voice. They'd been so engrossed in their argument, they hadn't heard the door open; they hadn't felt his presence. Kyp looked at Tahiri without emotion. "That's your first mistake, Tahiri. By not caring, you're losing the part of yourself Anakin care most for. Jaina, could I speak to you outside for a minute?"  
  
Tahiri screamed at him as Jaina stepped outside, the door closing behind them and muting the sound of something crashing against the wall. She flinched. "I think I made things worse."  
  
"At least you seemed to get through to her for a short time," he told her softly.   
  
She frowned up at him. "Kyp, what happened to your face?"  
  
Kyp lifted his hand to rub his jaw. "A certain Chiss Colonel decided to make his opinion of me public."  
  
She was brushing his hand away immediately, checking his face carefully. "Jag." she didn't really need to ask, and it was more of a statement. She hadn't wanted to think that Jag would try to hurt Kyp, but a part of her had guessed and her heart sank when he nodded. "He shouldn't have dragged you into this," she told him with a sigh, closing her eyes briefly against the feeling of betrayal. The Jag she'd been engaged to would never have done this; he would have kept it between them.  
  
"You brought me into this Jay, and I came willingly, remember?" he grasped her shoulders. "I was expecting it."  
  
"Did he catch you by surprise then?"  
  
He shook his head.   
  
Her eyes narrowed. "You [i]let[/i] him hit you?!"  
  
Kyp nodded. "I deserved it."  
  
"Like hell you did!" she spat venomously. "If anyone deserved to be hit it was me! I made the decision, not you! I made you admit how you felt!"  
  
Kyp chuckled. "Relax, your highness," he teased, "you'll work yourself into a frenzy."  
  
She took a deep breath. "I'm going to talk to him."  
  
He caught her arm and spun her back around as she turned to go. "You can't. Jag and I have an appointment tonight."  
  
"To what? Beat the crap out of each other?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
She glared at him, "Macho stuff?"  
  
Kyp shrugged. "Jag won't believe you, love, he thinks it's my fault. No matter what you say, what you do, he'll always think it's my fault."  
  
"Did you swing back at him at least?"  
  
He chuckled. "No, Jay, I didn't and I won't until tonight. It's an honor thing. Want to come watch?"  
  
"No thanks," she replied dryly, "I have better things to do than watch the two of you play out some sadistic male rutting ritual."  
  
"You sure? It's going to be just him and me and the mat."  
  
"You're not using the Force?"  
  
"It would kind of kill the reason for the fight, wouldn't it?"  
  
She grimaced, "True, but I don't want to see you hurt."  
  
He affected a wounded look. "Ouch, Jay. You have so little faith in me?"  
  
She sighed. "I know both of your physiques, Kyp, you're pretty well matched. If nothing else it should be an interesting fight. Don't hurt him too badly."  
  
He dropped a light kiss on her lips. "Your wish is my command Goddess, but if he tries to break something or unman me, all promises are off."  
  
She laughed huskily, pressing closer, "If he tries to unman you, I may have to kill him myself." She pulled his head back down, kissing him lingeringly before pulling away. "I should check back on Tahiri..."  
  
Kyp shook his head. "She needs some time to think about what's been said to her today. Constant supervision, physical supervision," he amended, "will only deter her."  
  
Jaina made a face. "I suppose I should check in with Wedge then." She sighed. Her relationship with Wedge was strained to say the least and she didn't look forward to speaking with him like she used to. "Unless you have a better idea?"  
  
He grinned. "There are a couple of things I'd like to check on my X-Wing and then I think I'll take a nap. It might help if I was rested for tonight."  
  
Jaina laughed softly, "I'm not tired, but would you like some company?"  
  
"I'd love some..." Kyp ducked his head next to her ear, his next words soft. "Imagine that, I'm not tired either."  
  
Jaina stepped away from him, staying close but not touching as they made their way back to his quarters. The broken door had him groaning. "I'd forgotten about that."  
  
She slanted him a look. "You can use mine."  
  
"Your door? Why, Goddess, I didn't know you were an exhibitionists!"  
  
She punched him on the arm. "For shame. You can crash in my room as I finish my paperwork. How's that?"  
  
He sighed. "I suppose."   
  
Jaina bit the inside of her lip to keep from grinning. Paper work. Right. 


	13. Chapter 13

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Kyp stopped by his quarters to collect his shorts before heading for the gym. Jaina was going to come watch. He knew it, she knew it, but she was denying it. He knew she'd come in later, before the fight actually started, or just as they were getting into it. Changing quickly, he slung a towel over his shoulder before leaving his room. Word of the match had spread through the ship and the crowds were growing in the observation decks. Kyp grimaced. This was supposed to be between him and Jag, but somehow it'd turned into an event of some note. The reason for the fight wasn't public knowledge yet, but Kyp wasn't sure how they were going to keep it quiet if Jag started throwing accusations at him.  
  
Entering the gym, he threaded this way towards the mat, focusing himself mentally for what he had to do. Jag was in for a surprise if he thought Kyp would be an easy target. Jag wasn't there yet when he stepped onto the mat, which was fine by him, as he shucked his pants, shirt and towel by the wall near the punching bag. Ignoring the betting going on between the spectators, and the speculation for the reason of the fight, he limbered up.   
  
Stretching and loosening his muscles, he carefully scanned the area for Jag and Jaina. They wouldn't arrive together and he [i]was[/i] early, but he was uptight for this fight. Jag had it coming. A commotion near the door drew his attention and his eyes narrowed as Jag stepped through the crowd towards the mat. He checked the time. Two minutes to 2200. What an awful time for a match. "For a minute there, I thought you weren't going to show," he called to the Chiss pilot.  
  
Jag's posture stiffened. "I wouldn't miss this for anything," he replied stiffly.  
  
Kyp smiled tightly, pushing himself up from the ground. The bruise on his face has mostly healed during the day, he suspected from Jaina's interference, and he felt ready for this. Ready and eager. Even without the Force, he was confidant he could win. He leaned against the nearest wall and crossed his arms over his chest in an indolent pose. "Your terms for this match, rules?"  
  
Jag didn't even look up from his stretches, "No weapons, no Force tricks and no holds barred."  
  
Kyp nodded once in acknowledgement. Jag meant to fight dirty, he could tell by the last of the rules. This wasn't going to be a gentleman's fight, it wasn't going to be an honor duel; it was going to be a slugging match. Kyp hid the almost feral grin, which threatened to slide across his face. Jag was in for a surprise.  
  
Jag finally straightened, turning to face Kyp completely, dressed much the same as Kyp himself. Kyp allowed himself to mentally catalogue Jag's physique. Jag was a specially trained pilot, no doubt as strong as Kyp himself and agile. Unless Jag's thinking process didn't allow him to dodge. "Terms for finishing the match?" he asked at last as Jag stepped towards the center of the mat.  
  
Jag's face was impassive. "Unconsciousness or Concession. Whichever comes first."  
  
Kyp nodded once and pushed away from the wall, walking towards the center of the mat. A sound came from the mat to his left and his eyes darted in that direction. Jaina. And she'd brought Tahiri. Wondering at how wise that move was, he knew he had to trust her judgment in this - he wasn't using the Force. If Tahiri got out of hand, that could quickly change, but not until Jaina needed his help. Focusing back on Jag, his eyes narrowed. He could read a smugness in Jag's eyes and then felt an icy, ghost hand slide down his spine as four people wearing nutrient racks, set up on the corners of the mat. Ysalamiri. Where in the Nine Hells had Jag gotten Ysalamiri?   
  
What did it matter? With a mental shrug he dropped into a crouch, Jag doing the same opposite him, their gazes locked. He wasn't using the Force and Kyp was able to function without it better than most Jedi. Except Luke. Slowly, they began to circle, warily watching the other for signs of movement. Kyp was content to wait and let the younger man come to him. Making no move except to continue circling, Jag seemed to realize that, as the instigator of this, it was his move.  
  
Jag came in with a straight punch, his right diving for Kyp's face. Kyp blocked and ducked blocking the other fist as it came in on a lower trajectory than the first and the fight began. The roar of the crowd was a dull roar in Kyp's head as he blocked one punch after another, spinning out of the way of a blow aimed at his stomach only to walk into another. Jag's left caught him in the chest and Kyp went with the blow.   
  
The hell with the defensive! Dropping to the mat, he rolled, coming up with both feet in a kick that caught the advancing Chiss pilot in the stomach. Jag doubled over as the breath whooshed from his body, Kyp regaining his feet.   
  
One for one.   
  
Circling warily he waited until Jag had straightened before coming in again. They traded blows, Kyp's left connecting with Jag's face as Jag's fist barreled into his stomach. They didn't stop. Another blow to the face, this time Kyp had to turn his head to risk breaking something as his foot came up and knocked Jag to the mat.   
  
Jag rolled into Kyp's legs, dragging him down and they traded blow for blow as they rolled. Jag's nose splattered across the side of his face as Kyp connected with a strong right, and Kyp felt something in his cheek give with one of Jag's punches. Rolling, he put his feet between them and sent Jag flying off him before he pushed to his feet. His chest hurt from the several blows Jag had landed and he suspected cracked ribs. He smiled grimly.   
  
Jag wasn't in any better condition judging from the slow rise to his feet. Jag waded back in, one of his arms tucked close to his body and Kyp suspected he'd broken something. But Jag didn't give up. He walked forward only, swinging, only to have Kyp grab his fist and turn, spinning quickly and dragging the arm up between his shoulder blades.   
  
But Kyp couldn't keep the pressure up as Jag stepped back into him, knocking his ribs, and he dropped the arm only to land a punch on Jag's kidneys. Jag buckled, groaning and Kyp pushed him to the mat. "Conceded!" he snapped, his voice not nearly as strong as he wanted it to be as he found it difficult to breathe.  
  
"Never," Jag spat, his voice not much better as he swung his legs at Kyp's. Kyp jumped, avoiding being swept from his feet as he stepped back, allowing the other man to stand. Jag had guts, he grudgingly admitted to himself. Most men couldn't take this kind of punishment.   
  
Kyp waded closer as Jag regained his feet, swinging at his head, only to have Jag duck with a speed he hadn't thought the younger man capable of in his condition. A fist slammed into his already hurting ribs and another into his abdomen, but the tight muscles of his stomach didn't hurt. All the sit-ups he'd done had been good for something. He bit down on his tongue and lashed out, knocking Jag to the mat with two well placed punches on the back of his head. Standing over the Chiss pilot, who was face down, Kyp nudged him with his foot, rolling him over. Jag was unconscious.  
  
Breathing heavily, Kyp backed away a few paces. "It's finished." And though his words were softly spoken, all heard them. The nutrient racks and their furry companions were removed and the Force came back to him with a vengeance. He staggered as a pair of familiar arms suddenly wrapped around him.   
  
"Jaina." He said softly, one eye beginning to swell shut. His face hurt, his body hurt, but having her hold him was soothing.   
  
She was careful not to hug him too tightly, "You did it." She murmured, placing a kiss on his cheek, aware of the eyes watching them as credits traded hands. "And you didn't kill him."  
  
Kyp smiled, a split lip making itself known, and he ran his tongue over the cut. "Only as a last resort, Goddess."  
  
Medics swarmed Jag, checking his injuries before wheeling him away towards the lab and the bacta tank. Kyp watched them leave, a single medic staying behind. "Master Durron?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Uh, would you mind coming down to the medical lab to be checked out, sir?"  
  
"Of course he wouldn't."   
  
Kyp's gaze dropped to Jaina, his eyes widening in surprise, one of them beginning to swell shut. "I can make my own decisions," he replied dryly.  
  
"Go with him, Kyp," she told him softly, "spend the hour or so in the bacta tank, and then come back and be all macho."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "I guess not. The Goddess has commanded me to go with you."  
  
The medic looked almost relieved as Kyp acquiesced, waiting until he'd collected his shirt, pants and towel, before escorting him towards the medical lab. Jaina went back to Tahiri and led her out of the gym, the blonde quiet as they walked back towards her quarters. They'd almost reached the door when she turned to Jaina. "Why did Jag and Kyp fight?" she asked softly.   
  
Jaina sighed. "Jag thinks Kyp did something to coerce me to leave him for Kyp. It was a matter of honor."  
  
"Like a Jedi duel?"  
  
"Kind of," Jaina admitted reluctantly.   
  
Tahiri nodded, stepping into her room, and quickly locked the door behind her. Jaina stretched out with the Force, feeling the conflicting emotions, the confusion, whirling through the young Jedi. She sighed. Tahiri was adrift, without much of an anchor, and unwilling to look for a new one. Zekk had served for a while, but she needed to find something inside herself to trust, and not rely on other people for her happiness.   
  
Jaina shook her head. She needed to think, to step back and regroup. Turning away from the door, she headed for the docking bay where the freighters that brought in their cargo were ordered to land. Maybe she could find someone who could use her help unloading or sorting cargo, or maybe one of the techs could put her to work. Reluctant to go about organizing and planning the training of her squadron in her current frame of him, she began walking.   
  
A shadow attached itself to her as she passed the docking bay, falling into step silently as she walked the mostly deserted corridors. The excitement of the fight had worn off and the pilots had retired to either the mess hall or their quarters to sleep. Jaina had felt something rise up inside her when Kyp had been fighting Jag. An almost desperate desire to make them stop, a willingness to do anything to make sure Kyp was safe. And that frightened her. She'd been willing to go back to Jag if it meant keeping him safe and, a part of her knew, that was wrong  
  
Her shadow stayed with her, offering her silent support and comfort just by his presence as they walked through the corridors for the next hour. Finally they stopped beside the main viewports in the pilot's lounge. It was almost midnight and they were in hyperspace, the starlines streaks of light in the dark canopy. She turned to her companion. "I thought you were leaving."  
  
Zekk smiled faintly. "I was waylaid by a couple of techs and then I found out that your parents were here and then..." he trailed off shrugging and smiling sheepishly. "I couldn't leave. Not yet, it doesn't feel like I'm finished here. Almost like I'm supposed to be here."  
  
She stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. "I'm glad you didn't leave." She said softly.   
  
He hugged her back, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Me too. I heard Kyp and Jag were going to have some big scuff tonight."  
  
"They did. You didn't come watch?"  
  
He shook his head. "I was occupied showing the twins... er..."  
  
Jaina laughed softly. "Kyp set them on you? Ouch. I'll have to talk to him about that. Kyp won, but he's a little worse for wear. They really let each other have it."  
  
"No low blows?"  
  
She shook her head. "I think they wanted to do as much damage to each other's faces." She sighed. "Why do men think they have to fight to settle their differences?"  
  
He chuckled. "You're asking the wrong guy. I gave up fighting for personal satisfaction along time ago."  
  
She punched him lightly. "Liar. You love a good scrap."  
  
"A verbal one maybe," he admitted, kissing the top of her head before letting her go. "But the physical always seems better if I'm fighting another Jedi and it's a duel. Carefully controlled. Where rage and anger have no place."  
  
She sighed. "You're not going to turn again." Her words were soft, but she knew that was really why he was saying it. "I wouldn't let you. Cyan wouldn't let you and Tahiri wouldn't let you, if she was thinking straight."  
  
Zekk smiled wryly. "I know. That wasn't why I was saying it though, I just don't see the point in fighting unfairly."  
  
"It wasn't unfair."  
  
"Kyp has the Force, Jag doesn't." his statement seemed to say it was the end of the matter.  
  
Jaina chuckled. "Jag evened things up. He somehow found Ysalamiri and made sure Kyp couldn't use the Force." She sighed. "I guess he didn't trust Kyp's word."  
  
"Do you blame him?"  
  
Jaina was silent for long moments before she sighed again. "After everything that's happened I shouldn't be, but I wasn't expecting such a public display of mistrust from him. I can't help but wonder what everyone watching will think of the precaution."  
  
"That he was evening the odds maybe?" Zekk shrugged. "I doubt many of them, if any, know of Kyp's promise. Without knowing about it, I'd have thought it was simply a way to make the playing field even."  
  
"I hadn't thought about that."  
  
"You're too close to the situation," he teased gently, "it takes an outsider's point of view."  
  
She smiled. "Thanks, Zekk. I should get back and check on them, just to make sure they don't come to blows after their first dip in the tanks."  
  
"Mind if I tag along?"  
  
She smiled grasping his hand and squeezing it gratefully. "I'd appreciate it - I might need help holding Kyp back."  
  
Zekk laughed as they headed for the medical labs, wondering if he'd missed a good fight... and how much damage they'd done to each other. Well, one thing was certain. He was about to find out!  
  
Kyp wasn't in the infirmary. Jaina checked on Jag, floating in the bacta tank, before turning to look at Zekk. "I guess Kyp headed back to his quarters."  
  
Zekk's gaze was on the pummel features of one Chiss Colonel. "Wow." He whistled. "Kyp really let him have it."  
  
Jaina chuckled. "If you're staying tonight, Tahiri would like to see you."  
  
Zekk met her gaze before reluctantly shaking his head. "I think I'm going to sleep on my ship tonight and head out tomorrow. If I don't get sidetracked again."  
  
She grinned. "If you don't let yourself get sidetracked, you mean. Alright, alright, go. But come back soon, alright?"  
  
He smiled, hugging her quickly. "Sooner than you think. Sleep well and give Kyp my regards. He did a bang up job."  
  
Jaina groaned. "Terrible joke,"  
  
Zekk grinned, clucked her once under the chin and disappeared. Jaina turned back to where Jag was still floating in the bacta tank. She shook her head. A day in there and he'd be fine. She left quickly, stretching out and looking for Kyp's Force signature. She blinked when she found it. The flight deck? Shaking her head, she headed for it, and him, looking around as she entered the deck.   
  
Kyp's X-Wing was nearby, a very familiar pair of legs sticking out from the open hatch where he was bent double, checking something. She hid a smirk and gave a low whistle.  
  
Kyp straightened as if shot, his gaze going directly to her as she grinned. "Nice tush Durron, giving the security ladies a thrill?" she nodded to the holocam that was trained on that side of his ship.  
  
Kyp grinned. "That wasn't the intention, I forget where those things are sometime."  
  
"Ah." She nodded sagely. "You're going senile in your old age."  
  
Kyp leapt to the deck, "Senile? I'm sound enough to whip a man your age in a fist fight."  
  
She grinned as he approached her, checking him visually for injuries. His time in the tank seemed to have served him well. "You don't look any worse for wear."  
  
He winked at her, "The advantages of being a Jedi." He pulled Jaina into his arms and ducked his head. "I wanted to be able to kiss you tonight."  
  
She tilted her face to his, sighing as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back. His mouth was hungry on hers, demanding, yet promising at the same time. She felt his mind slowly wrapping around hers, and opened to him. Her mind, her soul, her body was his for the taking. And yet, so was his to her. She reveled in the feeling, the knowledge that she could bring such a powerful man to his knees.  
  
She pulled back, gasping for breath. They were breathing raggedly and simply held each other until they were more in control, Kyp gently stroking Jaina's hair as he pressed her cheek against his chest. His heart was racing under her ear and she smiled contentedly. "Kyp?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
She looked up at him, reaching up to tangle her fingers in the hair brushing his collar. "I love you."  
  
He brushed a kiss over her slightly parted lips. "Enough to marry me, Jay?"  
  
She smiled, nodding shyly. "If you'll have me after being such a pain."  
  
"Nothing would make me happier. Should I get down on one knee and do this properly?"  
  
She arched an eyebrow. "Now that has possibilities."  
  
He squeezed her, unable to resist grinning. "Dammit, woman, I'm trying to be serious here. Get your mind out of the marriage bed."  
  
"It was," she smiled innocently.  
  
Kyp shook his head, "What am I going to do with you?"  
  
She melted into him, rising up on tiptoe. "Love me until the end of my days." She told him honestly, her eyes free of guile, the teasing mood having fled completely. She searched his eyes, "Marry me, Kyp, and make me the luckiest, happiest woman in the galaxy and beyond."  
  
"Is that a proposal, Goddess?"  
  
"I guess it is, since you haven't asked me yet. Will you?"  
  
"If you think you're ready, you know I will." He told her softly, his eyes unguarded as he looked at her lovingly. "I love you."  
  
She tugged his head down, sealing her lips to his in a passionate embrace. They were slow to pull apart, but Kyp reluctantly broke the kiss. He whispered to her softly, his breath sliding over her ear. "Jay, I'd love to tear your clothes off right here, but I don't think we want to give the security detail that much to gossip about."  
  
She blushed. "On the flight deck?"  
  
He laughed, winking. "Maybe someday." He swept her into his arms and she tucked her hands around his neck, "But for now I want to keep you to myself, without the prying eyes. Is that alright with you?"   
  
She nodded, hugging him tightly before he let her down at the doors. She claimed his hand, refusing to relinquish as she led him towards her quarters. Kyp tugged her to a stop before they arrived. "I have to get something from my quarters."  
  
She let him go, "Then join me when you're ready." Turning, she continued on her own, leaving the door open as she stepped inside and began to straighten the room. She was turning to straighten the covers on her bunk when a surge through the Force nearly knocked her from her feet. [i]Tahiri[/i]! Without thinking, she ran from her room towards the chambers where they'd let the young Jedi, but even before she got there she knew she was too late. She knew before she saw the blow open door, before she saw the black marks on the walls. She knew before she entered the room. Tahiri was gone. 


	14. Chapter 14

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Kyp was there when Jaina arrived, his expression bleak as he held the limp blonde in his arms. Jaina stood frozen in the doorway, her eyes wide as she stared into Kyp's eyes. No. No, she couldn't be... she wouldn't... would she? Jaina swallowed hard. "Is she...?" she could barely voice the words and was unable to finish the question as her knees buckled and she slid to the floor.   
  
Kyp shook his head. "She's alive." He said quietly.  
  
Jaina closed her eyes, relief surging through her. Tahiri was alive. Then what... what had led her to believe she wouldn't be here? She opened her eyes slowly. "What happened?"  
  
Kyp pushed himself to his feet, cradling Tahiri in his arms and moving to place her on the bed. "I came to check on her before going to you."  
  
She swallowed, "And?"  
  
"She attacked me."  
  
Jaina's gaze went to the two lightsabers lying off to one side. Kyp's was intact - Tahiri's wasn't. How had she gotten it? "So what's wrong with her then?"  
  
"I'm blocking her Force powers." He said quietly, turning from the bunk and stepping towards her just as Zekk appeared in the doorway, his eyes haunted. "She's alive."  
  
Zekk pushed past Jaina and darted to Tahiri's bedside. He reached for her, only to draw back, appalled. "I can't sense her!" he rounded on Kyp, "What did you do?"  
  
Jaina extended her senses and recoiled. Tahiri was a blank spot in the Force. "Kyp?" she whispered, her eyes beseeching him for an explanation.   
  
Kyp bent to pick up his lightsaber, gathering the pieces of Tahiri's at the same time before turning to meet Zekk's accusatory glare. "I've suppressed the Force around her entirely. Like a Ysalamiri bubble. I don't have the power to strip her of her Force powers, I don't think any one Jedi does, but she can't go on like this. Maybe by making her deal with her emotions as a normal person does, she can finally begin to heal."  
  
"You're taking away one of her links to Anakin!" Zekk told him sharply. "Her only link to him, you could kill her with this!"  
  
Kyp held his ground. "She's my apprentice, Zekk," he said softly, "I don't like doing it, but I'm running out of options. She can't be allowed to continue running rampant, she can't be allowed to work this out without some interference. She's losing her battle. Her attack on me tonight proves that. She wants to die and we can't let her."  
  
Zekk turned away, going back to Tahiri and pulling the young woman's unconscious body into his arms, cradling her against his chest. His every move professed his affection, his love, for the young woman. A brotherly love, but love nonetheless. "So what will she do now? Forceless and without... Anakin?" he lifted his gaze to the other Jedi.  
  
Kyp crossed the room, gently helping Jaina to her feet and wrapping an arm around her waist. "We wait until she wakes. She's going to be desolate without her powers. But this way she can't hurt anyone when she gets angry."  
  
Zekk gently stroked Tahiri's hair, scooting backwards so he was leaning against the wall. "What happened when she attacked you?"  
  
Kyp sighed, his grip tightening on Jaina fractionally. "She jumped me as I came in the door. If I'd been anyone else she might have killed me. A senseless death would start her down a path I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Both of you know what it is to kill, to feel the despair of the darkside. I want to spare her that. If suppressing her powers until she can deal with Anakin's death is the safest way to do it, so be it."  
  
"But, I was just starting to get through to her." Jaina whispered, staring at the blonde who'd helped turn her life upside down. "I thought she was finally understanding."  
  
"A part of her does, Jay," Kyp told her softly, "but that part is losing the war. No, this is for the best. Zekk, could you take her to the room you were in before?"  
  
Zekk nodded. "You want me to lock her in there alone?"  
  
Kyp closed his eyes briefly. "I don't like it any more than you do, but it's best she be allowed to wake up alone and deal with this loss in whatever fashion she feels she needs to. Once she's calmer, we'll explain it to her."  
  
"Give your ultimatum, you mean." Zekk slid off the bunk, cradling the young woman in his arms. "Did you even consider she might not want your help, Durron?"  
  
Kyp smiled faintly, running a hand through his hair. "It's crossed my mind. Help or leave, Zekk. Either way she's got to be helped before she kills herself. And, believe me, that's her motive."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
Kyp met the flashing emerald eyes of the younger man head on. "I read her mind, how else? It was in her surface thoughts. She doesn't want the pain or the responsibility of being the reason of Anakin's sacrifice. She doesn't want to remember, to feel. She wants to die, to join him in death, but it's not that simple. Anakin wouldn't want that for her."  
  
Zekk bowed his head for a moment before nodding. "I may not like your methods, but your reasoning is sound." He carried Tahiri from the room before Jaina leaned into Kyp, turning to hug him fiercely.  
  
"Why?" she asked softly.   
  
"Because, love," he said softly. "She's our responsibility."  
  
"I mean, why come check on her before coming to me?"  
  
He smiled faintly. "Because she's our responsibility." He repeated. "Something in her eyes during the fight today made me edgy. I couldn't sense her and I thought she might lash out at the crowd. But she didn't. She behaved and that made me leery. I had to see her, to talk to her about what happened, but I didn't get the chance. The fight between Jag and I brought back memories for her. Painful memories. I think seeing me was the last straw."  
  
"But to block her powers?"  
  
"I had to." He hugged her tightly. "If I'd been anyone else she'd have caught me by surprise, Jay. Even you or Zekk. She was shielding herself until I entered. I only hade my lightsaber in hand because I was suspicious. You wouldn't have, nor Zekk. She would have killed or hurt you before someone could stop her. I couldn't allow that."  
  
She closed her eyes and nodded. "I know. Come on, you look exhausted, I'll tuck you in."  
  
They left the room, Kyp's silence more telling than words. His encounter with Tahiri had been brief but brutal. She was either going to learn to live again or kill herself in a conventional way. Either way they had to keep a close eye on her. Starting tomorrow she'd have round the clock protection. Zekk could have first watch.  
  
"She's impossible!" Jaina spat the words, stomping into her room later the next evening to find Kyp still sleeping.   
  
Her rude words jolted him from his nap, his eyes snapping open on reflex before he relaxed back into the mattress. "Ugh, Jay, please, not now."  
  
"Not now? The great Jedi Master Kyp Durron has gone and unleashed Hell on this ship and he says 'Not now'?!" She grabbed the sheets with the intention of dragging them off him but thought better of it before she tugged. A sleepy irritated Kyp she could deal with. A sleepy, sexy, nearly naked Kyp and she wouldn't be able to form a complete sentence. She settled for something easier, repeating her earlier statement. "She's impossible!"  
  
Kyp sighed, rolling onto his side. He was sleeping in her room, thanks to his own lacking a door and privacy, but times like these it was detrimental to his health. "I don't know what you want me to do about it."  
  
"Giving her back her Force powers would be a good start."  
  
"I can't do that, Jaina, you know that."  
  
Jaina sighed, taking a deep breath before letting it go. Staying at him wasn't easy; he was simply too adorable for his own good. She reached over, ruffling his shaggy, unruly hair as she sat on the edge of the bed. "I know. She's just... I swear if it can break, it's broken in that room of hers."  
  
"You expected something else?"  
  
"From her?" she snorted. "Yeah, I suppose I did. She won't even talk to me. And before you say anything, I tried. Believe me I tried, I even held my temper at her childishness, but she's not responding at all!" She bent forward, her hands dangling limply between her knees. She looked exhausted.  
  
Kyp pushed himself up on one elbow, reaching out to gently stroke the curve of her spine, her body subconsciously leaning into his touch. "Give her time, Goddess. I've stolen a very important piece of her life and she's nowhere near used to it yet. She doesn't understand why I did what I did, but she knows it was me."  
  
"Does she know the toll it's taking on you?" Jaina turned her head, her hair falling across her shoulder before she had a chance to catch it.   
  
Kyp reached up to brush her hair behind her ear, his fingers gently teasing the sensitive skin of her neck as he left it on her shoulder. "Would it matter if she did? I'm powerful, Jay, but I'm also human. Until she deals with her grief, I'm afraid I'm out of action."  
  
Jaina sighed. "Sometimes being a Jedi sucks. You and Jag are both gone, so who's going to fly with me? I'm losing my best pilots."  
  
"Zekk could fly with you."  
  
She appeared to consider the idea before shaking her head reluctantly. "No. Tahiri needs him now more than ever. He's the only one she's willing to talk to."  
  
"All the more reason to take him away."  
  
"Kyp!" she looked at him shocked.  
  
He sighed, his hand dropping back to the bed. "I don't like to be the bad guy in this, Jaina, but Tahiri needs to learn to rely on herself. This is the perfect time to be giving Zekk something else to do. You and he work well as a team, I remember from watching you when you were younger. He'd be the perfect wingman."  
  
She arched an eyebrow, simply looking at him.  
  
Kyp grinned. "Well, ok, almost the perfect wingman, I'm better."  
  
She laughed, turning towards him and ruffling his hair again. "That's the Kyp I know and love."  
  
He caught her hair. "Stop it."  
  
"Why? I think you're adorable when you wake up."  
  
He chuckled. "You make me feel like I'm twelve when you ruffle my hair."  
  
"Twelve?" She tried to free her hand to do it again but he wouldn't let it go. She lifted her other hand instead and he caught that one too, but sent himself back to the mattress. His loss of leverage affected her balance and she went sprawling across his chest, her laughter muffled by his shoulder.  
  
"You find this amusing?"   
  
"Don't you?" she came back, lifting her head so he could see the way her brown eyes sparkled with amusement. "We're adults and we're acting like children. We should know better."  
  
He didn't relinquish her hands as she tried to move, simply kept her where she was by the pressure on her wrists and arms. "I think it's enchanting. Not to mention captivating."  
  
"The only captive is me," she remarked, tongue in cheek, "and from the look in your eye that's not going to change any time soon."  
  
"Would you like it to?"  
  
"Whatever gave you that idea?" she asked softly, bending down to cover his lips with her own. The kiss was slow, deep and soul shaking. A temptation and a dare that neither had the time to explore again. It was a promise of things to come and of things that had been. It was as much a merging of two souls as mouths and Jaina melted across him, purring softly in the back of her throat as his thumbs stroked the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrists.   
  
She reluctantly drew away, her eyes fluttering open to stare into the brilliant storm of emotions raging in Kyp's. He released her hands, gently cupping her face as his eyes searched for something in her expression. She saw confusion in his, wondering what he could be confused about. "Whatever did I do to deserve you." He murmured softly.  
  
She opened her mouth to respond but he leaned forward, gently kissing first one eye shut and then the other before his lips began a soft, passionate, almost reverent exploration of her face. Tears stung the back of her eyes. He was so gentle, so loving she thought she would die at his next touch. She didn't deserve this, not the way she'd come storming in, disturbing his peace. She swallowed hard and pulled away, opening her eyes to look at him, but he was blurry.  
  
He wiped her tears away with the softest of touches. "Don't cry, Jay." He urged softly. "There's no reason for tears. Not here, not between us. Never between us."  
  
"Kyp." She murmured brokenly. She tucked herself close to him, burying her face in his shoulder unable to explain her sudden mood swing. She clung to him, savoring the feel of his hands on her back, gently stroking her hair. Soaking up the feel of his strength beneath her, surrounding her. How had she almost given this up without realizing it? How had she ever settled for second best?  
  
Kyp, sensing her shift, held her tightly and tucked her close to his body. Sheltering her as best he could, he rolled slightly towards her until she was stretched out beside him, her face still buried in his shoulder. Why was she crying? He couldn't figure it out. "Jay? You ok?"  
  
She lifted her head, brushing an impatient hand across her face, and smiled a shaky smile. "I'm fine. I think it just hit me exactly how close I came to losing you without realizing what it was that I'd lost. Hold me Kyp, hold me and never let me forget, never let me doubt."  
  
He obliged, rolling until she was curled close to him, her head tucked under his chin. He held her tightly, her words echoing in his head. How close she'd come to losing him. He squeezed his eyes shut. He'd almost lost her, and known what it was he was losing. If she'd married Jag she'd have never known she'd lost him or what was missing. Silently he thanked whatever force had finally brought her to him and held her closer. On the heels of that thanks he sent a prayer that they wouldn't soon be torn apart. He refused to let anyone or anything take her from him. Finding her only to lose her would kill him. And, this time, there'd be no coming back. He wouldn't want to.  
  
"Get OUT!"  
  
"Tahiri, I-"  
  
"Get out, get out, GET OUT!" She screamed, picking up a piece of the twisted chair and hurling at Zekk. "Leave me alone, why can't you all just let me die in peace?"  
  
Zekk's heart twisted painfully in his chest as the projectile dropped to the floor in front of him. "We love you," he told her emphatically, "we can't just let you die!"  
  
"Why not?" she demanded, tears streaking her face as she glared at him, her chest heaving with anger and grief. "Why the kriff not? You all let Anakin die, every last one of you just let him go, but I can't! I [i]can't[/i]! He's everywhere, everything reminds me of him and I just want to die so I can be with him! Is that too much to ask?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Tahiri whirled on the soft new voice and took a step back, choking on a sob. "You wanted to," she snapped, her voice breaking. "Why am I not allowed to do the same?"  
  
Jaina looked at the younger woman steadily. "I won't deny that I wanted to die when I'd thought I'd lost both Anakin and Jacen. I wanted to make someone pay, more than I wanted to die, though. You just want to die to end your suffering. Welcome to the real world, Tahiri. You don't always get what you want. Kyp pulled me back from a darkside spiral because he loved me. We love you, Kyp, Zekk and me, and we don't want to see you go through what I did."  
  
"It made you stronger." Tahiri choked, backing against the edge of her bed. "I want to be stronger, I want to be better, but it hurts." She slid to the ground. "It hurts so much." She whispered, clenching her fist in the material of her shirt over her heart. "I just want it to stop hurting."  
  
Zekk backed against the side of the door, watching as Jaina approached the unstable young woman. Kyp had been right to block her Force powers, he decided reluctantly. Anything else and Tahiri would have eventually tried to tear the ship apart.  
  
Jaina crouched in front of Tahiri, meeting her tear soaked gaze, her own brown eyes glittering with tears. "I know it hurts," she whispered softly. "And I know you're in pain, more pain than any of us, because of your bond with my brother, but we want to help you. We want to help you bear your burden. Anakin is still here, Tahiri, even though we can't see him."  
  
Tahiri launched herself at Jaina, sobbing brokenly against her shoulder. "I want to believe that." She choked, her tears soaking the material of Jaina's flight suit.  
  
Jaina stroked her hair awkwardly, cradling the smaller woman against her chest. "I know you do," she assured her gently, "and you can. You have to believe that a part of him is still a live to make living more bearable. We all do. He left you a legacy, Tahiri. He loved you, still does, and always will. Don't let your anger and pain poison that, please?"  
  
Tahiri didn't reply simply continued to cry. Zekk approached, crouching next to Jaina and looking at her. She could read the emotions in his eyes as if he'd spoken them. He wanted to touch Tahiri, to physically reassure her that she wasn't alone, but wasn't sure if she'd accept his touch. Jaina shook her head reluctantly. If Zekk touched her, Tahiri was liable to break and, with the headway she'd just made, she couldn't afford a back spin.  
  
Zekk reluctantly moved away, getting to his feet, and left the room. The door closed behind him and Jaina bent her head to rest it against Tahiri's. She was in pain, and mourning. Time would heal all of her wounds, or at least make them bearable, but for now, Jaina simply let her cry. And cry she did. 


	15. Chapter 15

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Kyp woke to the sound of Jaina in the fresher sometime later, feeling disoriented at the messages the Force was sending him. Something had happened. Something big. "Jaina?" he called, pushing himself from the bed wearily. His constant suppression of Tahiri's Force powers was draining him slowly but surely. Rest wasn't helping. Receiving no answer, he opened the door to the fresher and stopped. Jaina was standing underneath a spray of real water, her face upturned to the fall. Her dark hair was plastered to her face and back, the water sluicing over her body easily as she stood completely still.  
  
Kyp leaned against the doorframe, the steam from the hot water wafting past him and into her bedroom. He looked his fill, feeling a sudden surge of energy that had nothing to do with the fifteen hour nap he'd just taken. She didn't seem to notice his presence, her thoughts and feelings turned completely inwards as she lifted her hands and pushed the water off her face in a slow, languid movement. He wanted to join her. Wanted it badly enough his hands went to the fastenings on his flightsuit, but dropped almost immediately.   
  
She wouldn't appreciate his interruption right now, he could feel that much, but that didn't kill the urge he felt. Instead he compromised. He simply watched as the emotions flitted across her face. The pleasure at the forbidden indulgence of fresh bathing water, the confusion that was affecting her very deeply and obvious and the helplessness. Helplessness about something that had happened earlier, something she was fighting with internally.  
  
She turned finally, shutting off the water, and simply stood in the stall. Her head was bowed, her shoulder hunched as she pressed her hands, palms open, against the wall. "What do I do?" she whispered softly. So softly in fact, that Kyp would have missed it if he hadn't been reading her lips.  
  
"Anything I can help with, Jay?"  
  
She jumped, her head snapping up in surprise as she whirled, her eyes wide. "Kyp! Force you scared me! How long have you been standing there?"  
  
"Long enough that I know something is bothering you, something that you don't want to talk about just yet."  
  
She opened the door and stepped out, reaching for a towel. Kyp beat her to it, snatching it from the rack and opening it for her. She stepped into it, finding herself suddenly enfolded in his arms and pulled against his lean body. She could feel his fatigue but the strength in his arms was comforting. "It's been a rough day," she admitted reluctantly.  
  
"Did you speak with Tahiri?"  
  
Jaina nodded. "And Zekk. He's agreed to fly my wing for now, but he's not to thrilled about leaving Tahiri alone for the next while."  
  
"But he understands why?"  
  
She nodded again. "Yeah, he may not agree with it, and he may not like it, but he understands. Zekk always understands."  
  
Kyp walked her backwards, out of the fresher, as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms, drying the silky skin underneath. She let him, though she stayed as wound as a rubber band ready to snap. He lifted the edge of the towel, taking the ends of her hair in his hands, and began to blot gently, rubbing them dry. Jaina found a smile for him. "Shouldn't I be babying you?"  
  
"Want me to stop?" his tone was soft, tender, despite his exhaustion.  
  
She shook her head. "No, but you look like something from a seventy two hour mission. I'm alright, Kyp."  
  
He lifted her in his arms, settling her in his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I can accept that you're alright, sure. But let me baby you then, ok, Goddess? I need to do it for me."  
  
She knew he was lying, he wasn't bothering to hide it, but she didn't really care. She nodded. "Alright. But don't overtax yourself, understood?"  
  
He chuckled, baring one of her shoulders and placing a gentle kiss on her smooth skin. "Yes your greatness." He lifted the towel, blotting the moisture off her skin, his lips following the path across her shoulders before he became all business. She melted into his arms as his hands worked their way over her body and dried her completely. She lay back against her bed, eyes closed, as she allowed his hands to gently massage the tension from her muscles the way a hot shower never could. And she loved every minute of it.  
  
Kyp was slow and thorough, enjoying the play of supple muscle under his finger tips, enjoying her sighs of delight and the way she simply seemed to melt under his hands. The tension climbed in his body, but he ignored it. He was going to baby her right. Finally her entire body was dry and, gently removing the towel from her body, he began gently blotting her hair. Her eyes opened slowly, languidly, and she watched him.   
  
Naked, except for the towel and his hands, she simply watched him. And Kyp fought every instinct that reared its head, winning by a thread or less. He wouldn't give into temptation, not yet, not unless she came to him. Neither of them were in any shape for anything more. Well, not Jaina anyway. Kyp, though exhausted, wondered if he'd ever wanted her more.  
  
She reached for him then, her hair partially dry and leaving a stain of moisture on her sheets. "Come here, Kyp."  
  
It would have taken a stronger man than he to refuse that passion laced tone. He slid down onto the bed against her, the fabric of his clothing rough against her skin as she tucked her head under his chin. "Want to talk about today, Jay?"  
  
She sighed into his throat. "Not really, but I suppose you're not going to let me sleep until I say something."  
  
"You're not going to be able to sleep and you know it."  
  
She wanted to glare at him but her energy seemed to have fled with his soothing touch. She simply shrugged languidly. "I can fake it."  
  
He arched an eyebrow in silently mockery.  
  
She winked at him slowly. "I'm kidding. As if I could fool you."  
  
He was silent for a long moment. "You could try."  
  
"I wouldn't want to." She admitted softly as he stroked her hair gently. She was quiet for a minute, gathering her thoughts. "I'm trying to decide if I should send Zekk away." She admitted at last. "I don't want him to go, Tahiri and I both seemed to need him as a confidant, but I can't help but wonder if it'd be better for her if he left."  
  
"And better for you, so you'd have to stand on your own?"  
  
"Something like that," she nodded once. "But I can't ask him to go. I've seen him with Tahiri, I've seen the way she's attached to him. I can't take that away from her, not when she's finally starting to respond to me with him around. She might just clam up if I take away the one person she really trusts."  
  
"She doesn't trust you?"  
  
Jaina sighed against the skin of his throat. "I wish she did, but she never will. I'm too close to what she lost, to close to Anakin, for her to ever trust me. She just can't. Respect me, I can gain that, but trust? I don't know if Tahiri will trust another woman in her life, Kyp. Mara was Anakin's teacher for covert operations. Tahiri holds a grudge against her. Mom didn't want Anakin to go on the mission. Tahiri thinks it's mom's fault he couldn't focus properly and was pushed to do things he normally wouldn't to prove he had a place on the mission." She sighed again, closing her eyes. "I don't think she'll ever trust another woman in my family."  
  
Kyp stroked her hair gently, knowing that what she was saying was true. He could feel it from Tahiri as he suppressed her Force skills. He could hear the truth in Jaina's words. He could almost see it as a tangible thing. He kissed the top of her head. "What else is bothering you, Jay?"  
  
She smiled faintly. "We're flying a mission tomorrow that could cost the Twin Suns, me in particular, very dearly. We've been ordered into a battle zone near the Coruscant system. Apparently we're rescuing refugees, but I'm being used as bait. I don't think I'll make it out of this one, Kyp."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I can't focus properly," she admitted, blushing as she did. "I haven't been able to focus properly for awhile now. Without that, and without you as a focal point..." she trailed off. "I don't think Zekk can offer the same comfort and control you can, he just doesn't have the experience for all his adventures."  
  
"Jay, you told me yourself that you and he make one hell of a team." Kyp's words were soft, but firm. "Doubting that now isn't going to help anything. You have to get beyond this. I'll still be here when you get back. Tahiri will still be here. And most of all, I'll still love you for depending on someone other than me."  
  
She lifted her head until she could look him in the eye, searching his gaze. "Are you sure?"  
  
He nodded. "I love you Jaina Solo, nothing is going to change that. You and Zekk are friends, best friends, and I can't say I like that he feels more for you than friendship. But that's not the issue. You need someone you can depend on to watch your back. Zekk can do that. I can't, not in this state." He smiled wryly. "You have no idea how many Jedi would love to hear me admit that I'm not all powerful."  
  
She giggled at his dry tone. "You're human, Kyp." She told him softly, as she lay back down, holding him close, "I wouldn't want you to be perfect. Then I'd spend all my time wondering if I was good enough for you. I love you, Durron."  
  
He kissed her gently. "Go to sleep, Jay, you're going to need it. I'll be here when you wake up."  
  
"Will you wish me good luck?" she asked on a yawn as her eyes began to drift shut.  
  
His response was almost lost as she drifted off to sleep. "With all my heart, Jay."  
  
Kyp watched her sleep, his mind lost in the fog of the Force and thoughts that were slowly tugging him down towards the slumber that she was now enjoying. She'd been vulnerable, unsuspecting, when she'd closed her eyes to rest. And Kyp felt guilty for having used a suggestion, however weak, on her. She'd be mad as a wild gundark when she woke up. No help for it now, she'd at least have something to drive her through the upcoming fight.  
  
Shaking his head, he curled close to her, listening to the sound of her even breathing. She'd go into battle for the first time in a long time without him tomorrow. He felt apprehensive, nervous. She was good, very good in fact and able to keep up with him, but could Zekk keep up with her? He closed his eyes, kissing her lightly. Zekk had better watch her back. And before they flew in the morning, Kyp was going to have words with the younger man just to make sure he knew his duty. The Goddess had to live, for the deception and insult she kept giving the Yuuzhan Vong. And for him. Oh yes. He wasn't going to lose her now, not if he could help it.  
  
Slowly, every so slowly, Kyp followed Jaina into her dreams. His last thought was of a battle meld and trying to find some way to help her in his weakened state. Nothing came to mind and as he began to dream, he slept fitfully. He had to find some way to help her out. He just had to. 


	16. Chapter 16

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 16  
  
Kyp was waiting on the Flight Deck the next morning when Zekk and Jaina, leading the Twin Suns Squadron, stepped out, fresh from their briefing. Jaina's face was an emotionless mask, the aloof figure of a Goddess among mortals. Just what she needed to be when putting such a close group of people's lives at risk. People who'd saved her lives more times to count.  
  
He waited in the middle of the desk until Jaina nodded to her squad. "You know the plan. To your fighters, and may the Force be with you."  
  
They scattered, Zekk staying behind as Kyp shook his head fractionally. This was between the three of them. They waited until the sounds of the active deck were loud enough to drown out any conversations they might have and Kyp spoke first. "I'm coming with you."  
  
Jaina's eyes remained focused on his face, but she was shaking her head before he'd said anything. "You're too weak Durron. You'd be more of a danger than a help - much as I want you along."  
  
Zekk eyed Kyp carefully. "Don't count him out yet, goddess," he said unexpectedly.  
  
She turned her head, but her eyes never left Kyp's face. "What do you mean?"  
  
Zekk nodded beyond Kyp, but Jaina didn't see the move. "I get the feeling it won't just be him coming along."  
  
Jaina's eyes widened as she focused on the small figure walking towards her steadily. Tahiri held a helmet in each hand, her stance firm as she stopped a few feet away. Jaina could feel the Force, the despair carefully controlled, coming off her in waves. She turned to look at Kyp again. "I am not giving her the chance to kill herself."  
  
Kyp smiled wryly. "Funny, that's what I said to her when she asked this morning."  
  
"Then what is she doing here and why can she use the Force again?"  
  
"I can answer that one, Master Durron," Tahiri said, her voice calm as she stepped closer to stop at Kyp's side. He motioned for her to go ahead.  
  
Tahiri looked straight at Jaina, her eyes boring into the other woman's head until they made eye contact. Jaina, if she hadn't been as strong, would have taken a step backwards at the determination in the stormy gaze. Tahiri was coming, with or without consent.   
  
"Explain yourself, Tahiri."  
  
Tahiri smiled a faint smile and Jaina's eyes widened. That was unexpected. "I know what you and Kyp have been trying to do for me. I realize I haven't been the most avid of pupils, but I am your apprentice. Both of you. I'm Kyp's because he knows what it is to be a dark Jedi and to fall. He knows what it is to pull someone back from the brink. I'm your apprentice because Master Skywalker believes making me face my grief and accept it will make me a stronger person. A stronger Jedi. It's what losing Jacen and Ana... Anakin did to you. Losing your brothers made you face your fears."  
  
Tahiri paused and looked across the flight desk at the fighters preparing for launch. "This is where Anakin would want to be if he was here today. This is where I feel closest to him." She turned back to look at Jaina and smiled a real smile that was tinted with sadness. "I haven't given you a chance to help me, Jaina. Not a real one. Kyp made me face some things about myself that I have managed to hide with the Force. Not anymore. You... you can teach me in your element. But I can't learn if you won't let me try. If you won't teach me, help me, the way Anakin would want you too. Please. Let us help."  
  
Jaina looked back to Kyp, fighting to find some reason why she shouldn't let them come, but knowing it was futile. If she didn't, they'd follow on their own. If she did, she'd be two pilots heavy, but stronger for it. Or would they? She stretched out with the Force for Kyp's presence. It was there, as always, determined and strong, yet ultimately weakened by the prolonged suppression of Tahiri's Force Powers. Would he be a hindrance in this?  
  
As if reading her mind, and he probably was, Kyp chuckled. "If you let Tahiri go, there's no way I'm staying behind Goddess. You have your wingman, she'll need one too."  
  
"Kyp..."  
  
He shook his head. "We're both coming. I'd get to your ship, Goddess, or the Twin Suns just might leave without you."  
  
She glared at him once. "You and I are having words when we get back, Durron."  
  
He winked at her. "More than a few, I should think. Be safe."  
  
She looked at Zekk. "You're still my wing. Remember our job."  
  
"As if I could forget." He waved her away towards the end of the deck before grabbing Tahiri in a tight hug. "Glad you're coming with us."  
  
She hugged him back. "Keep her safe."  
  
Zekk smiled, kissing the top of her head. "Always. Watch his back."  
  
Tahiri nodded. "I promise. May the Force be with you Zekk. And thank you." She pulled away, running towards the ship Kyp had 'acquired' for her and vaulted to the cockpit.  
  
Zekk and Kyp shared an understanding look before heading towards their own fighters. Both would watch out for their wingmen and both would bring them home safely. There was no other acceptable option.  
  
Jaina checked the blanket of stars around her visually before checking her instruments again. They were in the right place, but where were the supposed refugees? Blackness stared back at her, the glittering light of reflected stars refracting off the canopies of the rest of the Twin Suns squadron and their backup, the Twister squadron.  
  
She flipped her communications to a wide band signal, "This is Jaina Solo of the New Republic squadron Twin Suns to any ships in the area. Please respond."  
  
There was silence on the communication band, and Kyp broke in after a few moments. "Doesn't look like there's anyone out here, Goddess and I don't sense anything."  
  
"Maybe we're early." Offered Tahiri, an edge of skepticism in her voice.  
  
Jaina looked around again before pointing the nose of her fighter towards the Coruscant system. "We're either early, or maybe the refugee ships need our help. All ships come to bearing 075 and increase your speed. We have to find those ships. Spread out to search pattern Zeta and keep your radio communications to a minimum. We never know whose listening."  
  
Her squadron radioed in one after another before splitting off into wing pairs. Kyp and Tahiri formed up behind her and Zekk, and her communications panel began to blink with messages on a private channel. She smiled faintly before changing over. "You have something to say Durron?"  
  
"If you'll indulge me, goddess."  
  
"Be quick, we have people to find."  
  
"It feels like a trap. I don't think it's wise to separate the squadron."  
  
"You question me?"  
  
"I simply wish to offer my insight on the matter. I mean no disrespect."  
  
"It's noted, but we don't have the time to waste with speculation. If we find no one in twenty minutes, we're jumping back to the battle group."  
  
"Goddess."  
  
Jaina's lips twisted into a grin. Zekk sounded very uncomfortable using her title. "Yes, Zekk?"  
  
"I have to agree with Kyp, much as I hate admitting it. We should stick together if anything should happen."  
  
"Do either of you know what the Zeta pattern is?" she asked, her voice holding an amused note.  
  
Kyp answered first. "It's touch and go. You start from one point and spread out from there."  
  
Zekk's was slower to follow, "I think it's when you start from a point but have to return to it eventually."  
  
Jaina laughed; she couldn't help it. "You're both right. Zeta, in the Twin Suns, is a touch and go. Every ten minutes you return to the squadron leader before flying off in a new direction. By doing only one sweep of each wing in every direction, we cover enough ground to say if the transport is here or not. We modified it before we left, you must have missed that part of the briefing, Zekk."  
  
"I must have. Apologies goddess." He sounded chastised.  
  
"Accepted. Now, Durron, take your wingman, your sweep is going to be seven minutes instead of ten. Report back when seven is up."  
  
"Yes ma'am." He wheeled his ship away, a silent Tahiri on his six.  
  
Jaina watched him go before turning to her scanners and calling up the bearings of her squadron. Zekk was silent for long moments but she could tell something was on his mind. "What is it, two?"  
  
He didn't say anything at first and Jaina reached out to nudge him with the Force. "Zekk?"  
  
"I have a bad feeling about this." Came his soft response. "Something just isn't... I can't explain it."  
  
Jaina felt a trickle of unease begin in her stomach and checked her scanners again. Still nothing but her own squadron. She closed her eyes, stretching out to the Force and made herself to relax. If Zekk was anxious, it couldn't be good.   
  
She carefully submerged herself into the main stream of the powers and felt the life forces of her squad mates. She could feel the Force in Tahiri, Zekk and Kyp. She could feel the space expanding, a feeling of imminent action. Something was coming, but it wasn't the Yuuzhan Vong.  
  
Her eyes flew open and she hit her communications, "Twin Suns and Twister, this is Goddess, get out of the system, now!"  
  
"Wha...?"  
  
"No chatter." She snapped, unable to identify the speaker as she swung her ship around towards the hyperspace exit point. "This is a direct order. Proceed to the hyperspace exit point and jump as soon as you have the calculations. Do it and do it fast. Anybody not out of here in five minutes will be left behind."  
  
The ships in her squadron did an abrupt about-face maneuver and she watched them head towards the jump point. Twister jumped before any of the Suns, making a clean get away. Even as she watched, she knew that she and Zekk were outside the 5 minute mark. They were going to be left behind to fend for themselves and whatever was coming wasn't going to go easy on them.  
  
Kyp and Tahiri were nearing the jump point when a feeling of unease settled over him. Something was wrong with Jaina. "Goddess?"  
  
"Take them home Kyp. We'll buy you time."  
  
He felt as if she'd sucker punched him. "What? No, we're not leaving without you."  
  
"Don't make me order you, Durron." She came back softly. "Do it, they don't deserve to die here."  
  
"Bu..."  
  
"That's an order, Durron. Take the Twin Suns back to base. You have fifteen seconds before this place becomes hell."  
  
Kyp was about to answer when Tahiri's voice broke through. "As you wish, Goddess. You heard the almighty one, we jump back to base on Kyp's order."  
  
There were several clicks over the communications channels and Kyp swallowed the bile that was rising in the back of his throat. She couldn't stay here, but he knew she was too far away to jump out of the system safely. At least, jump back to base safely. "See you back at base, Goddess." He told her calmly, "If you're later than 03:00 I'll have your rank."  
  
She didn't respond, but then, Kyp hadn't expected her too. She couldn't declare her feelings for him over an open channel. Much as either of them wanted to. He flipped the channel open again. "Mark. We jump in 3... 2... 1... Now."  
  
The ships of the squadron shot into hyperspace just as a fleet of massive ships, their origin unknown, entered the system.  
  
Jaina opened her communications channel as Kyp and the other disappeared. "We're on our own, Zekk. Link your Artoo unit to mine and we'll see about getting out of here."  
  
He didn't say anything, simply did as she asked, the information scrolling across her screen. Even as she received the data, she was hailed by the alien ships.   
  
"Unidentified craft, this is Niz'wan'zu. You will surrender and be taken into custody. Your machines will be-"  
  
She clicked the channel off. Whatever they were, they looked like Yuuzhan Vong, or perhaps a new sect of Vong, and she wanted nothing to do with them. A swarm of objects, too far away to see clearly, but close enough to identify as fighters of an unknown sort, rocketed towards them.  
  
Jaina pulled her X-Wing into a steep upward climb, hitting the throttle and speeding away from the oncoming ships, Zekk on her wing. His voice crackled over their private channel. "Any bright ideas here, Solo?"  
  
"I'm working on it. Just stick with me."  
  
"That will be the least of your worries."  
  
"Don't remind me," she muttered.  
  
They were far enough away from the strange ships that Jaina quickly ran through all of the points they could possible jump to. The fleet blocked their escape back to base and any points in that direction. They'd have to fly through a fighter screen if they wanted to head to their secondary escape route and the third held a quasar star that was likely to pull them in if they jumped anywhere near it. She swallowed hard.  
  
That left only one option and, even as she punched in the coordinates, a chill settled over her. The last and only option was likely to get them both killed. With a heavy heart she opened herself to the Force and fed the numbers to Zekk's Artoo unit.   
  
She felt his shock of surprise, but before he could question her, flipped open her comm.. "We jump in 2... 1... Now!"  
  
Zekk followed her into hyperspace, a feeling of dread falling over him as they left the strange ships behind.   
  
Coruscant. He only hoped Jaina knew what she was doing.  
  
Kyp killed the engine on his X-Wing, staring forward into space as the other ships settled to the flight deck around him. Yet he was oblivious. Jaina was gone, had ordered him out - of all things - and now she was probably fighting for her life with Zekk. He closed his eyes briefly. Zekk would take care of her, would sacrifice himself so that Jaina could get away, but that was little comfort to the Jedi Master. The raw power of the Force was at his fingertips, and he was powerless to help her. Again.  
  
A tap on his X-Wing canopy brought his head up and Tahiri's impassive face stared back at him. He offered her a smile and slowly pulled his emotions together from their fragmented thoughts. He popped the cockpit.  
  
"I'm sorry," Tahiri told him softly, her own emotions scrambled.   
  
Kyp felt warring guilt and relief within her, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. A part of him hated her in that instant for being relieved that Jaina was gone. He hid it well. "She'll come back," Kyp assured her, partly just to annoy the young woman, "Zekk and Jaina know how to take care of themselves. They'll come back, you'll see."  
  
Tahiri shrugged. "Some of the pilots are talking a rescue mission. Don't we have to be debriefed or something?"  
  
"They do, we weren't supposed to be on the mission."  
  
Tahiri looked at him impassively.  
  
Kyp pulled himself out of the cockpit, leaving his helmet on the seat and she moved away so he could get out.  
  
Tahiri dropped to the deck and waited until Kyp hit the ground. "Supposed to or not, shouldn't we let them know what's happening?"  
  
Kyp looked down at the young woman. "Do you even care about the fact that Jaina and Zekk, [i]your best friend[/i], are stuck out there with Force knows what?"  
  
The look of pain that flashed across her eyes told Kyp he'd managed to hit a nerve. Remorse stabbed through him  
  
, but he didn't let off. Tahiri needed to acknowledge the fact that there was more to life than death, fear and pain. Trust, worry, love and friendship. Hope was essential. Something she couldn't seem to see, and didn't seem to look for.   
  
Kyp took her by the shoulders and shook her once. "Do you care about anything?" he demanded softly. "Anything besides what you're feeling and what you're thinking? Do you care that there are other people in as much pain as you, even though they can hide it better?"  
  
She tore away from him, her eyes glazed with tears. "I thought you cared," she murmured brokenly before fleeing the flight deck.  
  
Kyp watched her go before turning away closing his eyes. He hurt, he was exhausted and now he had another fence to mend before Tahiri would trust him again. He shook his head, his shoulders dropping fractionally as if a great weight was bearing him down. Jaina could take care of herself, he told himself silently, but Tahiri needed him. One problem at a time.  
  
Taking a deep breath he squared himself once more and started off after Tahiri. She needed him, as did Jaina, but one was beyond his reach. The other was fragile enough that if he didn't do anything, she'd be beyond his reach soon. He couldn't allow that after Luke had charged him with Tahiri's wellbeing. He couldn't fail. His pace increased as he headed towards her quarters. He had to speak with her. Now.  
  
Her door was closed when he arrived and he didn't bother knocking, simply walked right in and found her sobbing softly on her bed. Her room was orderly, the destructive urges that followed her grief seeming to have been absent.  
  
"Tahiri."  
  
She froze, her head coming up as she wiped away the tears but didn't look at him. "What."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
She jerked, not having expected the apology. "For what?"  
  
Kyp sighed. "I shouldn't be taking my feelings out on you, you've only started to heal. It's not right."  
  
She pushed herself up on her elbows, her head bent towards her chest. "I'm sorry too." Was her whispered reply.  
  
Kyp settled onto the bed next to her and gently placed a hand on her head, stroking her hair a couple of times. "You don't have to be. You've had a rough time and I know you care about Zekk. I shouldn't have accused you otherwise."  
  
She turned as he pulled his hand away and looked at him seriously. "Why did you?"  
  
"You know why."  
  
Tahiri sat up on her bed and pulled away, putting her back to the wall and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Because of Jaina. You've been helping me so much, and because of that, you can't help her."  
  
Kyp nodded once.  
  
Tahiri settled her chin on her knees. "I'm sorry you can't help her because of me."  
  
"Zekk can help her."  
  
Tahiri closed her eyes. "What if he dies?" she asked in a small voice.  
  
"Do you think he will?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Kyp placed a hand on hers where they were folded across her legs. "Do you trust him?"  
  
She nodded mutely.  
  
"Then trust that he'll come back. You have to believe that if nothing else."  
  
"Anakin didn't."  
  
Kyp squeezed her hands gently. "Anakin has never left you, Tahiri. He became one with the Force and the Force won't ever leave you. It can't."  
  
Her eyes opened slowly, the rage having dulled to an ache of pain and loss. A Loss she would never be completely over. "I wish I could believe you, Kyp, you've done so much..."  
  
Kyp stood. "I need to rest and so do you. Maybe, just maybe, Zekk and Jaina will be back by the time we wake up."  
  
Tahiri watched him leave without a word. Much as she wanted to believe him, to do as he said, she couldn't. Until Zekk was back safe on the cruiser, she wouldn't sleep a wink.  
  
Kyp knocked on Tahiri's door the next morning after having the best night's sleep he'd had since she'd come on board. Rested, he could finally think and act to his full abilities. Yet, even as he knocked a feeling of dread settled over him. Tahiri wouldn't be behind the door when he opened it and, knowing it was futile, he headed for the flight deck.   
  
He stopped before stepping onto it, seeing that he was already too late. Tahiri was gone and so was the [i]Lightning Rod[/i]. She'd gone after Jaina and Zekk. With a soft curse, he headed for his fighter and the unknown beyond. The Coruscant system and, hopefully, the other three Jedi. Yet, even as he cycled through the pre-flight sequence, Kyp knew it was futile. Jaina and Zekk would not have stayed in the system longer than they had too.  
  
Even so, he launched and set the coordinates. He knew that's where Tahiri would go and, exact or not, he had to try and save her from herself. Jaina and Zekk would find their way home without help; he had to believe that or risk going crazy. 


	17. Chapter 17

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 17  
  
Zekk watched the sun at the center of the Coruscant system with a wary eye. The old Coruscant, now named Yuuzhan'tar, swirled around in a new and strange orbit. He felt a momentary twinge at the only real home he'd ever known. Other than his ship.   
  
A few meters away, Jaina floated in her X-Wing as quietly as he. Her head was bowed, her posture almost dejected. One of her motivators had blown when they'd arrived in system and set up their next jump. For the moment, she was stuck. And Zekk refused to leave her.  
  
Zekk could feel her emotions; the anger warring with fear. He could feel her trying to suppress them with a more positive outlook even though it wasn't working. "It's not your fault, you know." he said softly, their transmitters on low power to avoid detection. "Your ship [i]has[/i] seen a lot of battles. Something was bound to go sooner or later."  
  
Her head didn't move. "I'm the Goddess." she replied, as she had several minutes earlier. "My ship isn't supposed to be able to break."  
  
He chuckled. "Jay, you're human. You also know machines. We have a damaged motivator and my power cells are low. Let's put our head's together and try to fix this."  
  
"Just like old times."  
  
He grinned. "Read my mind some more, Solo, and I just might start feeding you things to make Kyp jealous."  
  
Her head finally came up and he could see her grin. "Fools think alike you know."  
  
"So do great minds." he told her as he nudged his X-Wing closer to hers. "So let's put ours together and get out of this before Tahiri and Kyp do something stupid."  
  
"Like come after us?" she asked with a grin. She finally met his eyes and Zekk knew he'd gotten through to her.  
  
They'd been in the Coruscant system for going on five hours, well into when they should have been sleeping, and neither was at their best. It didn't help that the Yuuzhan Vong kept randomly sweeping and resweeping areas looking for enemy craft. That was going to make their repairs all the harder. It hadn't helped that Jaina had deflated and seemed to freeze when her motivator had blown.  
  
They hadn't been under attack, but whatever had been on her mind had either been settled, or banished. Either way, Zekk knew they had to focus on getting out of there. The sooner the better.  
  
He squeezed into the helmet and the extra exterior layer of his evacuation suit before attaching the air nozzle to his helmet. He hated getting suited up; even when he didn't have much choice. He noted that Jaina seemed to be following his lead and within minutes they were both floating outside their canopies examining her ship.  
  
Both motivators were damaged. One had been blown out completely, the other appeared to have been shorted by the other. They exchanged looks. One motivator could run the ship if it had too with the proper jurry-rigging.   
  
Jaina dug into the wiring in her X-Wing, tugging on it a little before nodding. She could make this work with a little ingenuity. She didn't look at Zekk as he dug into the power supplies and extra equipment stored aboard both X-Wings. They carefully matched up their parts and wiring, inventoried what they'd need and finally settled atop Jaina's canopy to discuss the painfully obvious. They could get one X-Wing functional, not both.  
  
"So what do we do now?"  
  
Zekk shrugged. "Wanna sit on my lap?"  
  
She grinned. "It's an option, but I'm not as small as I used to be."  
  
"If we get rid of your booster seat, we'll both fit. It'll be a tight squeeze getting home, but at least we'll both survive."  
  
She chuckled. "Cute. You're right though. Kyp and Tahiri won't like it, but what's a little life saving between friends?"  
  
"Exactly." He paused for a moment. "The only other option is to make one functional and send you for help."  
  
"I'm not leaving you behind." she was adamant.  
  
"Then it's not an option is it." He grinned, "Shall we make this work, Goddess?"  
  
She said nothing, simply turned her back and began ripping out the power cells she would need to help make Zekk's ship last long enough to get them both back home.   
  
Taking that as a "yes", Zekk moved to his ship and began pulling out the damaged power cells. They worked with their backs to one another, the sensors in their X-Wings on passive as they remained alert to any danger. Even so, they moved quickly. They wanted to be out of there before anything else went wrong.  
  
But luck, as Han Solo would say, was not on their side.  
  
Tahiri arrived in the Coruscant system just as an explosion ripped through the blackness less than a parsec away. Her eyes widened in horror as the familiarity of the blast hit home. That had been an X-Wing. She turned the [i]Lightning Rod[/i] towards where the explosion had been, heedless of the fact her sensors were reading multiple Yuuzhan Vong ships. She didn't care; she had to see if what she'd just witnessed was for real. She didn't dare reach for the Force now; not until she knew. And even then, if she was certain she'd lost Zekk, she wasn't sure what she was going to do with it. But first, she had to know.  
  
Kyp came out of hyperspace just short of the Coruscant system and activated his scanners. Before jumping into the fray, he needed to know where he could, and couldn't, go. He wasn't surprised to see the [i]Lightning Rod[/i]'s signature on his screen. He was a little shocked to see Jaina's emergency transponder show up. He hadn't felt her distress through the Force. Were they simply too far apart?  
  
No, he told himself silently, that wasn't possible. If Jaina was in trouble and needed his help he'd know about it. Besides, she had Zekk to help watch her back.  
  
He almost grimaced. The litany of reassurances was miserably short and stale. He needed something new to think about. Slowly, as he stared at the readouts, he formulated a plan. A plan that would, hopefully, get Tahiri out of the storm she was in and back to the ship. Clearing his mind, Kyp focused on at the task at hand. It wasn't going to be easy, but anything worth doing never was. 


	18. Final Chapter Chapter 18

Strong Enough  
  
Chapter 18  
  
Tahiri weaved through the ships with an almost mindless intent, the clouds of matter left in her wake telling of her state of mind. She was furious and hadn't noticed reaching for the Force. Lost in a haze of memories mixed with reality, she didn't seem to see the ships that exploded in her wake, or the toll the battle was taking on the old freighter. Her intent was a simple one. Find Zekk and get him out of there. Alive or dead, she needed the closure, the finality of a body.  
  
There was 1 X-Wing left, or so she hoped, as she scanned for it with her scopes. Nothing. Either it had been destroyed or captured. She screamed an incoherent scream of rage when continued searching brought up nothing, slamming her hands into the control panels and leaving hand prints in blood. She blinked. Blood. Why was she bleeding? She didn't recall having damaged her hands. She blinked again and found the blood had disappeared.  
  
[i]Tahiri[/i]  
  
She jerked. [i]Kyp?[/i]  
  
[i]You were expecting someone else?[/i] Even through the Force his tone was sardonic. [i]You need to calm yourself, reach out and focus. Zekk is alive.[/i]  
  
She nearly collapsed in her chair, unconsciously taking a deep breath, reassured by the Master's words. Zekk was alive. She closed her eyes, in the midst of an explosion, and forced herself to latch onto Kyp's Force signature. He was far away, racing towards her position at top speed. She opened her eyes, determination forcing the darkside back, focusing it consciously as she looked around her.   
  
There was X-wing debris mixed with corral skipper, pieces of flak bouncing off the shields of the [i]Lightning Rod[/i] like tiny balls. She checked her systems, shocked to see a hull breech in the cargo compartment, the shields running at low power, near failing, and her weapons systems threatening to overload. She pulled back, scanning the horizons, and turning towards the only remaining threat.  
  
The large ships of the fleet of Yuuzhan Vong were backing away, moving to a more tactical position, one of their smaller ships towing a heavily damaged X-Wing. She focused on it, surprised to find two lives in the cockpit, both signatures recognizable. [i]Kyp, I've found them![/i]  
  
Kyp's response echoed through the Force. [i]I knew you could, kid. Now focus, we're going to have to get them into your loading bay and somehow get away.[/i]  
  
[i]Can we help?[/i] It was Jaina.  
  
Tahiri focused on the freighter as Kyp communicated their plan to the trapped Jedi. Alone they'd been unable to break free and escape, but with help, they just might pull it off. Slowly, the plan formed and Tahiri nodded in silent agreement. She understood. Turning the freighter slowly, she angled it to an intercept course and closed her eyes for a moment.   
  
[i]Anakin, if you can hear me, help me. I need your strength.[/i]  
  
There was a moment where it seemed that nothing would happen, and then, something did.  
  
Tahiri felt her fingers begin to tingle, a feeling of familiarity settling over her as the light became almost corporeal. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Anakin. She felt the tears well up, blurring her vision as his familiar presence enveloped her, his strength suddenly imbuing her with energy.  
  
For the first time since his death, she felt whole again. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she guided the [i]Lightning Rod[/i] along side the freighter holding Zekk and Jaina captive. She couldn't see it, but there was an aura surrounding the freighter, protecting it, as the Yuuzhan Vong threw everything they had at her. She came in closer, unable to see anything through her tears, and opened the cargo bay.  
  
Someone in the X-Wing fired and guided the remaining two torpedoes directly at the strand holding them to the ship before rocketing off, directly into the cargo hold of the [i]Lightning Rod[/i]. And even as they accelerated, Tahiri hit the thrusters, knowing they'd come in to fast. Somehow, they matched speeds, Anakin's confidence in the cockpit lending her strength as they caught the errant X-Wing, Kyp's torpedoes delving directly into where it had once been before breaking off.  
  
Tahiri never saw the Yuuzhan Vong captive ship explode, never saw it shatter under Kyp's onslaught. She closed her eyes and reached out to embrace the only presence to ever completely accept and comfort her. Yet, even as her hands flew over the panel, guiding them into the correct hyperspace jump coordinates, she could feel him beginning to withdraw.  
  
[i]Don't go.[/i] Her mind reached for him without thinking.  
  
She felt as if he stroked her cheek gently, could almost see his clear blue eyes in her mind's eye, and read their sadness. He couldn't stay. [i]I love you.[/i] his voice echoed softly in her mind. [i]Live, Tahiri, for me, for us. I'll always be with you.[/i]   
  
She sobbed, reaching for him, but knowing she'd find nothing but air. And then he was gone. "No!" she screamed, her eyes flying open as the ship made the jump to hyperspace. "Anakin, no! I didn't get to tell you!"  
  
She collapsed forward, her head bowed, tears soaking the front of her shirt. [i]I love you too.[/i]  
  
Kyp bolted for the [i]Lightning Rod[/i] as it settled to the deck, the X-Wing in the cargo hold visible through the metal of the hull. Zekk appeared first, nearly falling to the deck as Jaina pushed him hastily forward. They were both disheveled, their clothing wrinkled and Jaina's hair was everywhere, but Kyp couldn't recall when she'd looked more beautiful.  
  
"Jay."  
  
She leapt at him, colliding mid-air as he reached to grab her, and was enfolded tightly in his arms. Their embrace was mashed, her arms not quite surrounding him and her legs askew, but neither cared. They simply held on as tightly as they could, thankful the other was alive.  
  
Zekk watched as Kyp buried his face in Jaina's hair, catching the glimpse of tears as his eyes disappeared. He smiled. Jaina was very lucky to have a man like Kyp. He turned towards the cockpit of his ship, his smile disappearing. Tahiri had yet to appear. Curious, he started forward to find her.  
  
Behind him, Jaina twisted in Kyp's embrace, turning so that she was more comfortably locked in his arms, her hands having found refuge in his hair. She turned to try and see his face, feeling the dampness on her cheek. "Kyp?"  
  
He turned his face into the curve of her neck, taking a deep breath and inhaling her scent. "I love you, Jaina."  
  
She almost didn't hear him as his muffled words were whispered against her throat. Her hands tightened, pulling his head up. "I love you too. I told you to get away."  
  
His smile was wry. "We did. You didn't notice that we were almost too late to rescue you?"  
  
She shook her head. "I knew you'd come. I knew you'd never leave me. You disobeyed me."  
  
He didn't answer, except to kiss her fiercely, almost bruising. She didn't notice how tight she was being held until he let her go fractionally. She almost stumbled as her toes hit the tops of his boots. "Kyp?"  
  
"We have an audience." he told her softly, blinking away the moisture from his eyes. He schooled his features, willing himself to appear in control as he lifted his gaze beyond the top of her head. Han and Leia were waiting for them, the rest of Jaina's Squadron behind them.  
  
Jaina froze, sensing that familiar presence, and turned her head. "Mom. Dad."  
  
The Twin Suns began to clap, the tension in the bay disappearing as Kyp reluctantly let her go, Leia and Han approaching quickly to envelope their only daughter in a bear hug. Leia let her go first, turning to look at Kyp. She extended her arms, meeting his gaze, and smiled a small smile of invitation.  
  
Kyp felt a small shove from behind him as he took s step and hugged Leia gingerly. She smiled. "Thank you for bringing her back. I may not like the age difference, but I have no doubts as to your feelings for her. Treat her well, Kyp."  
  
Kyp almost fell over in stunned shock as Leia let him go and turned to her husband. He stared as Leia pulled her husband away from his fiancée and Jaina stepped back to his side. She curled her arms around his middle and turned them away. The Twin Suns dispersed, Han and Leia following, Han giving his daughter a wink as they did.   
  
Kyp felt as if he'd been sucker punched. "Did your mother just say what I thought she said?"  
  
Jaina laughed, the tension of their separation draining away as she grabbed him by the back of the neck and kissed him lingeringly. "She did. Nice to be accepted, isn't it?"  
  
He nodded cautiously before scooping her up in his arms and twirling her around once. He placed her back on her feet, facing the opposite way. Zekk and Tahiri stood watching them, a smile on each their faces. Zekk's arm was around Tahiri's shoulders.  
  
Jaina's eyes met Tahiri's. "You did it, didn't you?"  
  
Tahiri nodded, the sadness having lifted partially from her eyes. There would always be a shadow, however, she was now thinking and seeing clearly. All of the Jedi could feel it. "Anakin helped me."  
  
Jaina opened one arm to the younger girl and Tahiri fairly leapt at her. "I'm sorry for being cruel, Jaina." she said softly, and I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I know now that you were only trying to help."  
  
Jaina squeezed her tightly. "That's what friends do."  
  
Tahiri turned to look at both her and Kyp. "Thank you. Both of you."  
  
Kyp ruffled her hair before knocking her gently under the chin. "Anytime, kid. We're here for you if you want to stay."  
  
She looked back at Zekk and stepped away. "I would, but Zekk had asked me to help with the [i]Lightning Rod[/i]. I think I need to as part of my healing process. Thanks for the offer; for everything."  
  
Jaina and Kyp watched as she walked back to Zekk and the two of them turned to start on the freighter's repairs. Exhausted, hungry, but refreshed in a way only healing can bring. Kyp turned Jaina away from the two young friends and picked her up in his arms. Her hands went around his neck, her head to his shoulder. She didn't care what people would say.  
  
Kyp carried her through the halls without a word, only the occasional kiss on the forehead as he reached her door. She opened it and he stepped inside, heading straight for the washroom. Jaina turned to look as he set her down on the floor, her gaze searching his as he carefully undressed her, removing her clothing one item at a time.  
  
An amused half-smile crossed her lips as he knelt and removed her boots, throwing them away haphazardly. She opened her mouth to object, but the look he shot her had it snapping shut again. He was going to baby her.  
  
She didn't protest as she was placed in the fresher, the water turned on to a soothingly hot. She closed her eyes, leaning forward to place her forehead on the wall. She could hear Kyp rustling around over the sound of the water. Yet when his hands slid around her waist and his lips to the back of her neck, she was shocked. And Kyp closed the door with a thought.  
  
Later, they lay curled together on Jaina's bed, Kyp stroking her cheek gently, Jaina smiled. "Can you believe it?"  
  
"Believe what?"  
  
She shrugged. "This. Me and You. We've managed to succeed, Kyp. We came through this together."  
  
"Did you ever doubt we would?"  
  
"Once."  
  
"When?"  
  
She pushed herself up on her elbow. "When I was stuck in the cockpit with Zekk staring down a Yuuzhan Vong fleet. I didn't know Tahiri would reach Anakin, or that you would act like an avenger of old. I love you Kyp. Your strength and your weakness. You complete me."  
  
He gently pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I couldn't have said it better myself, Goddess." He pulled her down, kissing her softly before tucking her tightly against his body and closing his eyes.  
  
They'd made it past one of the hardest obstacles, conquered their toughest trials, and succeeded where others might have failed. And they still had each other.  
  
Jaina smiled, closing her eyes, and dreamed.  
  
Fin.  
  
***********  
  
And that's it, wow, I finally finished it! *chuckles* Yahooo!!!  
  
Ok, now, I'd like to thank DantanaSkywalker for being my Beta, yet again, because without her I couldn't give ya'll this story. So a huge thank you to her.  
  
Secondly, I'd like to thank you, my readers, for being wonderful and keeping with me through all of the computer problems I've been having. Hopefully I made it worth your while to stick around.   
  
Thank you again to everyone who's been reading my story, you are all wonderful for keeping me motivated.  
  
e-mail is always appreciated Jademax@hotmail.com.  
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
Jade_Max 


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